• 03 Mar
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    Is Money most Important in life?

    Is money most important in life



    A lot of us get up each morning to go to jobs that we may not find satisfying. The work itself is unappealing, or the hierarchy and politics are getting to you.

    What you’re really working for is the pay cheque at the end of the month. Sometimes, we need that money, sometimes; we could do with less money.


    Then, why do we choose to stay in jobs that may not be letting us do what we love doing?

    The reason lies in the popular notion that we would be happier if we were richer.

    We see this theme everywhere: most ads for products talk about how you would be happy if you bought those products – and to buy such products, one needs to have a constant in-flow of money.

    Another aspect that fuels this notion is that we grew up thinking that a good salary each month would translate into a whole lot of savings at the end of our working lives, and we will end up having a satisfactory retired life.


    So, does one actually need money to be happy?

    It turns money has a ‘transient’ effect on our happiness (Kahneman and colleagues, 2006). That is, money only makes us happy for a while- just like if you shopped today, you would be happy till you saw an ad and felt like purchasing again.

    Money makes a huge difference if you are at the income poles – i.e., extremely poor or extremely rich. In such cases, those facing absolute poverty would obviously be much unhappy compared to millionaires.

    But majority of the people do not lie at the poles, especially with GDPs of countries increasing each year. So, for most of forming the middle chunk, it’s actually a matter of thinking.

    This thinking may keep us in jobs where office politics kill all the creativity in us (Daud and colleagues, 2013). In order to make sure that the mirage of rich equals happy is maintained and people continue in rat-race jobs, people in positions of seniority are offered perks, increasing competition and envy.


    What would be the result of this?

    Stress, anxiety, depression and a fall in the level of satisfaction, as counterintuitive as that may sound. And of course – the carry over effects: the pervasive bad mood and workload that you carry home and to friends and which sours life beyond the office.


    So, what’s the solution?

    If you like the work type, join a company with a different culture, or a start your own startup! Did you know? Startups are providing and creating the most new jobs globally, compared to traditional companies. Or start over in a different field of your liking! Many people with engineering degrees in India have quit, joining the social or media sector – it’s never late!


    So, in a nutshell, if money does not satisfy us, what does?

    It turns out, that depends on the time spent doing things that matter (Stutzer and Frey, 2004). If being richer means you spend more time commuting to and from work, and at the job (because higher salaries mean more responsibilities), then it’s not surprising you aren’t getting happier. Happiness is about spending time reading a book, being with a loved one or just being: after all, money is the means to an end – a good life.

    Image source


  • 03 Mar
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    Types of psychologists (In India)

    types of psychologist in india


    Psychology is a very broad field and within that, there are many subdiivisions that are aimed at in-depth understanding of one particular aspect.

    Some of the common psychologists are described below with what they do and help out with.


    Counsellor/therapists: This includes counsellors who have a general sort of background and can help to some extent with each type of issue, or this may also include specialists like deaddiction counsellor etc.

    These professionals have a background in human development or psychology followed by training in counselling.

    They may practice independently or as part of an organization or collective.


    School and college counsellors: Thankfully, these days many schools have at least one counsellor.

    These counsellors help out children with academic difficulties and also help them through personal difficulties and in detection and awareness of bullying and emotional issues.

    College counsellors also play a similar role and may also help the student deal with heartbreak and ragging related issues


    Career counsellors: Often school and college counsellors also have training for career counsellors.

    However, there are also specialized career counsellors who help the student to find out his aptitude and abilities and keeping that in mind, help them to find a suitable career.

    Counseling, aptitude testing and wide knowledge of colleges, universities and courses offered is their forte.


    Industrial psychologists: These psychologists work either in the HR department, in personnel management or with employee assistance programs as corporate trainers.

    They help with emotional health and stress reduction of employees as well as planning how appraisals, layoffs and selections should happen.


    Clinical psychologists: They have an M.Phil. or a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and help mainly with psychiatric disorders ranging from depression or stress right up to OCD and schizophrenia.

    They are licensed to do clinical testing and generate reports of the same.

    Along with a psychiatrist or independently, they help in changing thought and behaviour patterns that may be maintaining a psychological disorder.


    Marriage and family therapists: They work with families on issues or marriage, separation or child-related issues.

    Broken or dysfunctional families may need therapy for the family as a whole, because if the system is not functioning properly, it affects all members and it is not any one person’s fault.

    The whole system needs to be adapted to change. MFT do a special certificate post their masters in counselling or clinical psychology.


    Art Therapists: Art therapy is picking up in India, especially for special groups like children with hyperactivity or women undergoing domestic violence.

    Art therapists help to channel our energies, heal  and bring about change with the use of art.

    Art is a form of expression in which words are mostly not required and therefore, it helps to tap the unconscious and repressed emotions.


    Couple therapists: There are also dedicated couples therapists apart from the MFT who work specifically with couples who find it hard to get together and resolve problems on their own.

    This may include couples who have not yet moved in together too, because MFT looks at couples married and living in together and also focuses on other people like in-laws, whereas couples’ therapy is about the communication skills of the couple only.


    Rehabilitation psychologists: They need to have an M Phil. In Rehabilitation psychology or 5 years of work experience in the field before they can practice as rehabilitation psychologists.

    Typically, they help people with any sort of psychological or development issue to get rehabilitated back in life.

    They may help children with low IQ and other concerns as well adults, post-hospitalization for psychiatric issues.


    Applied Behaviour Analysts: This is a very small and specific area, but ABA help children with autism and other pervasive developmental disorders to communicate well and learn other skills.

    These children may not integrate easily into the mainstream and ABA are needed to help them express themselves properly and have a healthy emotional life.


  • 02 Mar
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    Should divorcing parents make their child choose?

    should divorcing parents make their child to choose

    There are many factors deciding what a child thinks of its parents.

    Children may show a preference for any one parent because that parent is lenient with rules, allows them to stay out late, is more willing to let them consider some alternate career choices etc.

    But until children become mature and often, even after that, children generally think that they are made up of both parents.

    Unless there is a lot of hitting or emotional abuse by one parent, they love both, but in different ways.

    They may go to one parent for permissions, while the other for life advice.

    However, for this, they need to have some sort of bond with both parents.

    If one of the parent has been absent when the child was growing up, or was not present, even from a distance, for crucial moments of a child’s life, then the child only thinks of the absent parent in abstract, and the love becomes more like an obligation to that parent, with their loyalty turning more and more towards the parent who is present, even from a distance.

    Considering the role of the mother in home-making and child rearing, especially in societies that still feel that the mother should be the primary caretaker, the amount of time spent with the mother may make the child, regardless of gender, be close to the mother.

    Very often, you will find this structure in a family: the father is like the CEO who you go to for important things, while the mother is like the team leader or project leader to whom you tell about all your big and small crisis.

    This works out well most times, except the father-child bond can suffer if the father does not step out from the CEO role and become dad again.

    An interesting opportunity to know whether children can decide which parent they love more comes from divorce cases with custody arrangements.

    Often, the child may be asked for their preference, however, it is only one aspect along with many others that is taken into consideration in the court of law.

    Here’s what many lawyers will tell you though: don’t make the child choose. The child, at least before he or she is 14, imagines a world which is only complete with both parents. Divorce is hard as it is.

    Asking the child does not help because they simply don’t know what’s best for them in a situation like divorce.

    If they don’t voice their opinion in favour of one parent, they feel guilty of letting that parent down, and if they do say something, they feel they let the other parent down.

    Love is complex and should not be shredded down to choices.

    Children, then, have a worldview where love is present for both parents and the expression of it depends on the character traits of each parents’ personality.

    At least in this case then, choice means nothing but trouble and distress.

    Image source

  • 01 Mar
    Oyindrila Basu

    Wish You A Great Success Dear Students

    Wish You A Great Success Dear Students



    Examinations are often the cause of tremendous stress in students. Young minds are tender, and exam pressure is something that can cause mental illness in them, as a result of which they are unable to focus on their main task.


    Why do we generally come under pressure when thinking of an examination?

    Stress is the body’s reaction to any intense physical, emotional or mental demand placed on it. When a student is reminded of his annual exams, which will decide whether he will move up to the next class or will have a year loss, may induce stress sympathetic division of the autonomic nervous and endocrine systems, according to Nicky Hayes, editor of Foundations of Psychology.

    Furthermore, the rat race to be the best pulls them down. Parent’s high expectations that they have to get the highest scores are so overpowering their minds that they are easily fatigued.

    Some common problems of “exam stress,” as Hayes characterizes it, include disturbed sleep patterns, tiredness, worry, irregular eating habits, increased infections, and inability to concentrate.


    Hence in the latest #MannKiBaat session, our very own PM, Mr. Narendra Modi ji, takes a special half an hour on the counselling of students who are going to attend their annual examinations from the first of March.

    Through it, he wants to communicate with students, parents and teachers, so they can develop a healthy attitude towards examination.


    We also have, Bharat Ratna Sachin Tendulkar with us, who says:

    “Set your target yourself, do not get pressurized by others' expectations. You will often be asked by your friends, relatives, and parents as to how much percentage marks you are expecting this year. However, do not get burdened with these ideas, set a realistic, achievable target for yourself, so that you can assess yourself properly……….. in the last 24 years of my career, there have been hard moments and good moments, but people always had expectations with me, that kept growing……but my focus was on the ball, and when I set my own target and tried to overcome it, I felt I could do something for the country……positive thought will evoke positive results….”, Sachin Tendulkar.

    This is what we advise always for becoming the best.


    Modi Ji adds to it “Compete with yourself, not with others, and when you achieve your own goals, satisfaction will come automatically and won’t depend on comparisons………..examinations are just a way to assess that you are progressing the right way………..do not consider the results as the ultimate success or failure, if you are unable to reach your expectations, do not keep comparing your scores, but instead use the experience for harder work to get best results next time”.

    Physical health is most important. It is very important to study, but at the same time it is important to take care of your body and mind.

    “Take good sleep…..wake up early and revise for examinations…..do not cut off on sleep, to maintain a stress-free mental health that will keep you steady for exams," Mr. N. Modi.

    He urges importance on discipline as a key to success. A routine-less life will complete your tasks, but you will be easily despaired and bored with your work.

    To dissuade students from panic attacks during examinations, Mr. Modi also takes the help of our chess champion Vishwanathan Anand, who believes that for fairing a successful examination, a healthy mind and body are required.

    Wishing everyone a very best of their luck, he continues:

    “Have a good night’s sleep, be in full your stomach…. but most important is to stay calm, it is like a game of chess, while playing, you don’t know which pawns will come, likewise in examination you don’t know which questions will come, so if you are well-slept and well-nourished you can keep cool, and your brain will recall the right answers. Go through important topics during last revision, so that they are fresh in your mind….” Vishwanathan Anand.

    Mr. Prime Minister compares Anand with Arjuna from Mahabharata, who has a fixed goal, and his mind never deviates from it. His inherent calmness helps him achieve this deep attention, this great focus.

    “Keep laughing, crack jokes with your friends all along before examinations, keep yourself stress-free; you will remember everything correctly," Mr. N. Modi.

    “If you have a huge well of knowledge within you, it won’t affect if you are unstable in mind”, says our PM.

    After completion of one examination, students should spend time with family to gossip and chat on inspiring things, good memories before preparing for the next subject, rather than pondering over how many correct responses have they given in the last examinations.

    Let go what is gone, look forward, do not take stress; that is what Mr. Modi believes.

    Some good effect is also exerted by yoga and meditation.

    “If I tell you today, you cannot start meditating from tomorrow…. It is a regular practice…. You are required to practice meditation regularly, especially before an examination, that will help you settle down.” Mr. Narendra Modi.

    He exemplifies Thomas Edison, Srinivas Ramanujan (Indian mathematician) and J.K. Rowling as true inspirational stories, which can motivate the students to keep up their fighting spirit.

    A few general instructions which can actually boost up students and help them maintain mental balance are as summarized from Mann Ki Baat-


    • Be on time to your examination hall, so that you do not have to take tension for being late.


    • Spend five minutes reading the instructions in the question paper, so that you do not go wrong.


    • Carefully assess the questions.


    • Take good rest and keep yourself nourished, so that you are not hungry.


    • Keep dedication, determination, diligence as core factors of your personality, which will help in success.



    “If you are determined, then fear will shiver, and you will have a golden future ahead," says Mr. Modi.


    Once again, positive approach, beneficial energy around you will motivate you not only in an examination but in any hard time of your life.

    Image source

  • 26 Feb
    Oyindrila Basu

    The Small Mind-How to talk to children

     The Small Mind-How to talk to children


    The Small Mind- Your Kid’s mental well-being is the most important thing.

    A child’s overall growth and development depend largely on his/her mental wellness. If a child gets a good and healthy exposure, he/she will develop with a confident personality, wise understanding and quick thinking.


    What is most important is, a child learns from what he sees.


    Talking about well-being has become important for each one of us, but when we are concerned about mental health of a child, we mostly address the advices to his/her parents, because a huge responsibility lies on them as to how the child is treated.


    Try to understand your child. Kids are very sensitive, and they are easily moved with things. They can be happy without reason, again they can be hurt on simple things, so it is imperative that you understand what they are thinking, how they are thinking.


    • It's important how parents deal with their kids to make things do:

    Do not say too many things at a time, the child will not retain anything, or may be miss out on the important point. A child’s brain cannot take in a lot many inputs at one point of time. “Human brain can keep only four 'chunks' of information or unique ideas in short-term (active) memory at once. This amounts to about 30 seconds or one or two sentences of speaking," this has been recorded by a current psychological study. Be precise, to make your child understand.


    • Recurrent warnings will disturb your child, and he will be easily ignorant or confused. Let him learn his own responsibilities. For e.g. you want your child to wake up at right time and get ready for school. Tell him the time at which he is supposed to leave, with the consequences, if he fails to do so. There is no need to remind him, or coax him every five minutes. Let him be responsible for himself.


    • Your child will learn empathy on if he sees it in you: a child generally is not concerned about your problems; he doesn’t have the maturity to do so. He learns it in the process. If you are busy all day, don’t put your frustrations on your kid. If he has forgotten to complete an allotted task, remind him once, he will do it, no point humiliating him, that creates negative vibes, which affects the child’s mind.


    • Don’t ignore a child’s word: children are often fanciful, and they live in their own world, they make up stories, which may be incoherent, but has a sense to them; they need to share it. Spend some time with them, listen to them, your gesture will give them importance; they will be encouraged to create more things.


    • Try and understand what’s unsaid: kids are often quiet about their problems. May be they have been bullied in school, or they have had a fight, they may not tell you openly. Many a times, they feel they may get scolded, so they do not share many things with their parents. Try to be friends with your kids, and create the comfort zone where they can share every small thing with you.


    Talking out helps kids a lot freshen up their environment, which adds to their mental health. It gets difficult because we are often unable to read their minds, and they do not generally react much, so it’s important to spend time with them, so that you can analyze them and solve their problems.


    Child’s mental health has deep-rooted impacts on his/her adulthood, so it is crucial to deal with even the smallest of issue that a child is facing.


    It is a verified fact that 50 percent of adult mental problems are rooted early on, before the child reaches the age of 15.


    "Studies show that childhood disorders lead to more severe and sometimes multiplying disorders in adulthood," said Dr. Harold Koplewicz of the Child Mind Institute.


    The mental health of our children must be seen as every bit as important as their physical health.


    Image source

Book an appointment