• 19 Mar
    Oyindrila Basu

    7 tips to stop overthinking



    “Preeti, I really like this floral dress, but do you think it is too loud in color? Oh will it suit me? I hope Priyanka and group will not criticize me on this dress! Will they? Will I look beautiful or nerd in this?........... Oh! It’s so confusing”_ a common girl in a shopping mall of Mumbai.

    Most of us are often confused regarding various things- about what we wear, what we eat, how we eat, and how we look. We are extra-cautious when we go out into a public place. It’s a common thing, that we want the opinion of some of our friends when we buy some clothes or accessories.

    why is it so?

    I am spending my money, so the items I buy, should be of my choice, not of others! However, we end up enquiring on every small detail before we take a step. This is because most of us bother too much about what people will think of us. The reason is that we resent the shame or embarrassment that we may have to go through if we do not conform to the expectations of the society.

    Most of the times, this embarrassment can come, if we do something, which is apart from normal or what should be. For e.g. If we trip over a banana skin and fall, people will laugh at us, and we don’t like it that they are considering us stupid. However, people laugh because the incidence is a deviation from normal, I was supposed to walk straight, but I fell down.

    Another reason why we bother about others’ opinion is because as a social being, we want to be appreciated by everyone and be in their good books. However, too much worry or anticipation on what others think of you, can cause panic attacks in you, and affect your mental health and well-being adversely. You gradually tend to be skeptical and avoid public gatherings, or become hyper tensed about situations.


    How can you dissuade yourself from these kinds of thoughts?


    1. Do what you love to do.

    Engage yourself in something which you love to most, e.g. reading, encyclopaedia hunting, or something unique like telescope search for space elements, something which you are passionate about, and something which others can’t think of. When you deviate from normal with excellence and achieve best results, others will automatically look at you with awe and respect, and your sense of achievement will make you bother much less about others.


    2. Try to be kind and generous

    This is a quality which everybody appreciates. We cannot stop bothering whether people are bitching about us behind our back or critiquing our follies, then what is the best way? Be the best of yourself. Develop kindness and generosity for others, and they will be automatically attracted towards you.


    3. You are not faulty always

    Even if your kind behavior is not helping, and you are the constant subject of criticism, understand that whoever is doing so is weaker than you. He or she who is criticizing you is aware of self-follies and to cover it all. They are blaming it on you. This thought will give you a comfort zone, that the storming man is more helpless, and it is not that you are faulty always.


    4. Shame is not always harmful.

    If you realize that what people are talking about you is true, and you do have some shortcomings, you can use your social humiliation to motivate yourself for higher achievable goals, rather than panicking.

    Basically, a bit of criticism and embarrassment from others can help you develop self-awareness, and you can pay attention on the particular points in your personality, which need to be mended.


    5. Don’t bother too much about others

    Too much of botheration about society will make you a deceptive person, over a period of time, you will tend to be a human with dishonest disposition. Gradually, your opinions and your right and wrongs will be influenced by the speculations of what others think of them. As a result, you will tend to develop a more feasible and socially compliant mode of behavior, which may not be your real self. However, if this becomes a practice, that will strongly affect your mental health, and the moment you deviate from a percent from the set protocol, you will be in anxiety of getting disliked.


    6. Be original

    Always remember, no one appreciates a fake personality. Love yourself, be what you actually are. Honesty counts a lot. Be open about your ideas and opinions. General public may not appreciate it initially, but they will definitely acknowledge your straightforwardness.

    Ultimately, the truth is, what you are as a person will determine what you achieve in life. Nobody else will come to your aid.


    7. Do what you like

    Negative criticisms and speculations are just a part of this long process, better not to consider them much. You can do what you like, what you feel is right, others do not feed you or clothe you, so care less about their negative opinions, to be in a free, healthy mind.  

  • 19 Mar
    lucy santi

    Try to off the triggers of headache with these simple techniques


    Headache is kind of pain in the upper part of the face.

    This means it hurts the head directly.

    The headache affects the head, neck, and scalp. Depending on the reason of the headache the symptoms can affect the person.

    Zero down on the exact reason for the pain. This certainly will help you to get the exact reason for it.

    Here in the health care provider will diagnose the type of headache with various reasons and related parameters.


    Let us take a look on the triggers which give our headaches to the person.

    The trigger should be stopped then and there to avoid a chance of headache.


    #Sleep deviation

    The top reason for a headache is sleep deviation. Headache is the sign which tells you that you cut down the sleep hours to half.

    This in turn will pile on the stress which will leave the brain confused and hence there is no sign of sleep in the night.

    Sleep anxiety is the condition wherein the person is unable to take a rest during the night. Sleep on the weekdays is regular.

    However, many times on weekends the sleep hours are tailored according to the availability of time.

    You are relaxed as there is no rush to start up the day, hence the sleep hours are altered, however, this gives an untoward effect on the brain and body.

    In case of alteration of the sleep on the weekends, the level of the stress hormones will drop hence causing rapid releases of neuron transmitters.

    This in turn will send impulses to blood vessels constricting and then dilating causing a headache.

    You can avoid this trigger by following the sleep schedule religiously.



    Anger can be triggered which can cause headache in the person.

    When anger is incorporated in the person, the scalp and neck get tensed and creating a band like sensation.

    This in turn will cause headache. This is a sign of tension headache.

    You can fix this by avoiding the trigger of anger.

    Breathe deeply and slowly and following technique of meditation, which will help you to control the mind.

    Breathe from the nose and exhale from the mouth so that the angry emotions can get out of you at the moment.


    #Bright lights

    Bright lights can also be the cause of headache.

    The shining light and sharp sun rays will be flickering causing a headache in the individual.

    This actually induces the migraines in the person.

    Actually, the bright light flickering will induce the chemical generation in the brain, which in turn ignites the migraine centers.

    Fix this issue you can take help if the sunglasses. The sunglasses will reduce the intensity of light.

    Herein to be sure on reducing the intensity of light opts for polarized lens. This is the best option to avoid a cause of the headache.

    Apart from this take measure to tone down the flickering lights of your computer`s screen.

    For this attach glare screen, which will help you to adjust the bright light.

    Image source

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  • 16 Mar
    Oyindrila Basu

    The Power to Defeat Anxiety Lies In The Pose

    power pose



     “I am happy now; I am a worker; I love my job; I am getting paid well; I do not fall short on anything. Nowadays, I am not even stressed with the ugly situations going on in my in-laws’ house, because I am with Prateek in Bangalore, and we plan to stay here at present. However, what, if I again have to go back! What if the quarrels start over and this time even worse! Oh! My God, I can see sasuma taunting me because I am working on my kheer in my own style. I can see; she is bringing in my education and upbringing in the argument, and I am shouting, badly shouting. Oh no! not again. I do not want to go back, but what if the project in Bangalore ends! Oh! I can’t think anymore; I am stressed out,” Rashmi pondered- Story of a common housewife, Anonymous.

    The question ‘what if’ is the cause of all evil in the mind.

    The predictive analysis about future consequences leads to anxiety, which burdens our mind.

    Even if we are good now, what if this good doesn’t last long! This is anxiety, where we keep asking some vague questions to ourselves about a problematic situation, and when there is no answer, our mind starts visualizing some horrific life images, which may be related to some past experiences.

    We start panicking, sweating and worrying, which affects our mental health. Anxiety brings with it a negative vibration which is not good for physical health as well. It can raise our blood pressure and cause hypertension for some people.

    Sometimes, serious problems cause anxiety. If we are scared and fear to face our fears, any complex situation can make us worried, leading to stress. Worry about new job, new married life, unstable work-life, children’s education, relocation can make you anxious.

    If we can remove anxiety, we can stay a lot healthier.

    Stop predicting your future. What will have to happen, will happen. You can try for a better future with your hard work and honest efforts, but ‘what if something goes wrong’; you cannot solve a messy situation beforehand, if it has to happen. Rather, if you keep pondering about what can happen bad, you will ruin your present state of comfort as well.

    Well, the above suggestion is not so easy to follow. Fear of the terrible, haunts each one of us. Even though we are wise, and we know, future will bring its own elements along, we cannot stop worrying, because we feel, maybe by worrying, we can finally hit on a solution.

    To feel healthier, the nervousness should be removed.

    Power Pose helps a person regain his confidence.

    If you stand straight with your head high, and both arms folded on your waist, for 2 minutes, this posture can infuse in you, positive vibes with which you feel powerful, and on top of the world. Actions tend to affect our emotions gravely. What we do, matters the way we feel.

    Hence if we stand like a boss in our ‘Power Pose’, we feel like one, this helps brush-off the nervousness which makes us anxious.

    Social psychologist Ammy Cuddy discusses in her TED video how “power posing” — standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident — can affect 20% increase in testosterone and 25% decrease in cortisol levels in the brain, and might have a significant impact on our chances for success.

    She has conducted her experiments in The Harvard School of Business and concluded The so-called “power pose” is characterized by “open, expansive postures”—Slate’s Katy Waldman described it as akin to “a cobra rearing and spreading its hood to the sun, or Wonder Woman with her legs apart and her hands on her hips.”


    In a paper published in 2010, Ammy and her collaborators, Dana Carney and Andy Yap confirmed that posing in a ‘high-power nonverbal display’ can change our lives and hormones resulting neuro-endocrinal and behavioural changes in both male and females- in short, high posing individuals have their head tall and hence there is an increase of testosterone levels in their brain, in contrast to low-postured stooping individuals who automatically feel powerless and nervous because of their actions.

    Apart from this, high postured yoga and meditation can also help fight your anxiety.

    Anxiety makes every situation an emergency, so to get instantaneous relief you can practice this posing, or you may go for a 5-minutes nap, which can dissuade the thoughts and relax your mind.

    Just practice it, and you will regain your confidence. You will proudly move with a high head; anxiety will evacuate your brain, and well-being will come in.



    Image source

    References: 1 2 3


    Responses 1

    • Oyindrila Basu
      Oyindrila Basu   Sep 04, 2016 09:26 PM

      Thanks for your valuable comment on the article Aweke Shishigu. It is really important what you said, and in future we can definitely find out a significant strategy for reducing math anxiety too :) But existence of anxiety is important is a disagreeable idea for me, as I believe that stress and anxiety are derogatory for your mental soundness. the more relaxed you are, the better you can perform. what I mean is, the need to succeed should be there, but the confused hasty will only make a person take incorrect decisions. In simple words, the more we panic, the more we hurry in our mind, the more our practical actions are delayed.

  • 14 Mar
    Oyindrila Basu

    A‘Live’ Is Awesome-Why Live Concerts Are So Much Fun?

    Live concerts

    Why not relax on your couch with a bowl of popcorn and watch the same concert on television, whether live on air, or recorded version?

    If you are a music lover, or appreciate art, that should be more enjoyable for you, to sit at home, and replay your favourite portions, repeatedly until your soul is satisfied.

    Then what fun is there in standing in long queues for getting the tickets for a live show, or even sweating in the crowd on the day of the event?


    There are several psychological reasons as to why we love being at live shows.


    • Money stands for happiness: often we have seen shopaholics who love to shop when they are depressed or bored. In fact, my neighbour next door is one of the kinds, who goes out with her purse, anytime, anywhere, once she is worried, or upset with something. Spending some good amount of money on some purchases can cheer you up, because shopping makes you feel that you have the power to choose your stuff, and spend on it without much thinking, less thinking means less stress. And the more money you spend, better is the object of purchase (at least you love to believe so).


    Similarly, when you are spending money for an experience, you feel you are buying art and culture for yourself. You are choosing yourself, what you want to watch, and pay it off without thinking, so definitely you believe the live concert is a grand event. You cannot get the same pleasure at home, because you do not pay for it, especially. So, if there is no money involved, the experience cannot be that good.


    After a psychological research by Van Boven & Gilovich, results were- 57% said experiences made them happier while 34% said things gave them pleasure. However, ultimately, it was something they got in exchange of money.


    • Once you are spending on some experience, or in other words, you are ‘choosing’ to spend on an experience, a cultural event of art, rather than any material, you feel proud of yourself that you are finally of the intellectual class in society.


    • Live concerts give a person his own time, 2 to 3 hrs time, where he stays at one place, doesn’t talk much but listen, which is a rare scene in today’s busy life. Every day is a hectic movement for each one of us, and so we want a moment of recluse when we can be with ourselves, and enjoy the entertainment without interruption for some time.


    • Live concerts are more enjoyable because there is a common crowd. Mob tendency, remember! Man is a social being, so he enjoys more with others than alone. So if one person is overexcited and shouts out in joy to cheer the performer, the positive emotion and excitement are soon transferred to another person from him, and yet another, and finally we find the whole auditorium cheering. Emotions are contagious! Here the fun is not because the program is superb, but because people of common interest are watching it together and sharing their uplifted spirit and laughter contagiously. Because, #AliveIsAwesome. 


    • Live shows are more popular, because they allow fans to get a glimpse of their favourite stars in real. Sometimes, if they want they can just feel them for a moment, and that gives a sense of achievement to many people.


    So go ahead, spend some money to buy a quality time for yourself, rejoice in a likeable company, and keep enjoying live shows.

    Image source


  • 12 Mar
    Oyindrila Basu

    Secrets Of Striking A Work-Life Balance.

    housewife managing home and office


    I wake up every morning at 7 AM, make my husband a cup of tea and sit at my office work. I am a professional mostly working in ‘work from home’ structure, well our technological innovations have made things much feasible these days.

    I finish two sets of works in the first half of my timetable, which lasts until 10.00 AM. Then we have our breakfast. After about 25 minutes I resume working on my later projects, attending to the urgent issues first and the casual ones afterward.

    When I speak to some of my friends, they tell me that they are having a hard time dealing with home life and work life, especially those who have children. Most of them go to the office and either complain to some folks or cry to them that their children have called them ‘bad mom’.

    Well, I do not disagree that support from your home, family and society is an imperative factor for maintaining a good work-life balance, but if that is not there we have to deal with the difficulties ourselves.


    • I knew it from the first day that I have to be guilt free- there is no point being guilty if I cannot make a clear choice between family and profession. When I have to work, have to earn, what is the use of feeling myself responsible for any problem that comes to the family (of course that is not true), so no point punishing myself. Stop blaming yourself if your kids are not studying, or your electricity bill is not getting paid on right time.


    • Make a timetable, a routine for yourself, if you have a lot of responsibilities. I believe a day has 24 hours, out of which 16 hours are there for you to finish all small and big activities. Setting a proper routine will help you maintain a selective time for each work and activity, and you will hopefully finish everything without getting burdened. When you are not working with a correct format in mind, you tend to mix up things, and often linger on less important tasks.


    • Set your priorities right. Select the more important task first, and be ruthless about it. Clearly attend to your professional work and finish presentation documents if you have to submit a project the next morning, rather than playing with your kid, which can wait, or even someone else in the household can play for the evening. Do not be overridden with guilt because you are a working mom, and adhere to gaming with kids because they are demanding so, when you have some very important work.


    • Decide what you want to have. If you are satisfied with your job, and your home, you do not need to crave for more work, only for money. Take up just that much work which you can handle with passion, and that will help you maintain a healthy social and personal life, because latter is also important for good mental health.


    • Doing a lot and not loving any is foolish. Do as much as you want to do, both for your family, and profession.


    • Keep self-time. There has to be a time, when you attend only to your hobbies and entertainment or rest, do not compromise it with anything, or you will generally be stressed out.


    Follow your ideologies with an upright spirit and you will never fall short on your responsibilities. You will enjoy working as well as homing.

    Image source

    Responses 3

    • Oyindrila Basu
      Oyindrila Basu   Sep 04, 2016 09:27 PM

      Thanks a lot for your valuable opinion Anita.........I do agree that work is a significant part of life, and we love to work, if there is no work, we will be dull and bored. but the suggestion here is do as much as you want to do, and love to do. sometimes we want to work more and more, in order to get payed more...or may be adhere to something which we are not happy doing, just in order to be satisfied with the income. But when there is no job satisfaction, you cannot live happily. Secondly, when we say 'work-life' balance, by the term life, we mean 'personal life' or interpersonal relationships... Thanks again that you have given your precious time on the article.

    • Oyindrila Basu
      Oyindrila Basu   Sep 04, 2016 09:27 PM

      Multitasking has been a woman's job always.... one who is at home perhaps have heavier work to do, than an office goer. women have the capability of working with 10 imaginary hands, when she has only two in actual. now that is the significance of this post, where we are suggesting, that women should focus on whichever field of task they like. If she is satisfied being a 'home manager', she can choose to be so, if she feels that her education and her abilities as a professional needs a proper platform, in that case she has full rights to explore the avenues of corporate success and the like, but at the same time she is also expected to fulfill her responsibilities towards her family and home, and there arises the question of 'balance'. here the society needs to change its mentality, which expects more than enough from a woman. its the society which burdens a woman with the guilt that if you are a professional, you are possibly not doing what you are supposed to for your house, as long as this thought process does not change, the discussion on 'balancing' will continue. mentality can't be changed in a day, so the article tries atleast to relieve the powerful women for the time-being so that they can find a way out for their contemporary problem, be it home makers or professionals. women, do not feel guilty for working or not working, just enjoy life the way you want to...