• 21 Apr
    Jayashree Mukherjee

    What is Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)?

    neuro linguistic programming

    Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is all about bringing about changes in perception, responsible communication and developing choices of responses  or communication in a given situation. The situation can be personal or professional, but it empowers you by giving you choices and also being responsible for the choice made by you.

    How it works?  

    NLP might appear like magic or hypnosis. During therapy the subject goes deep into their unconscious mind and sifts through layers and layers of beliefs and perceptions to become aware of an experience in early childhood that is responsible for a behaviour pattern. NLP works on the principle that everyone has all the resources they need to make positive changes in their own life. NLP techniques are used as a tool to facilitate these changes.

    NLP Therapy can be content free. That means the therapist can be effective without knowing about the problem in great detail. Hence the therapist need not be told about the event or even the issue, thereby ensuring privacy for the client. Besides this we also have a non- disclosure agreement in which the interaction between the client and the therapist is kept confidential.

    NLP believes in perfection of nature in human creation. Hence NLP encourages the client to recognize their sensory sensitivities and use them to respond to a particular problem. In fact, NLP also believes that the mind is capable of finding even cures to ailments and diseases.

    NLP techniques involve noninvasive, medicine free therapy that helps the client discover new ways of dealing with emotional problems such as low self-esteem, anxiety, lack of confidence, destructive relationship patterns (coping with breakup), and are successful in effective bereavement counselling.

    NLP has its roots in the field of behavioural science, developed by Pavlov, Skinner and Thorndike. It uses physiology and the unconscious mind to change thought processes and therefore behaviour.

    Gestalt Therapy

    Gestalt Therapy was co-founded by Fritz Perls, Laura Perls- They were basically traditional psychoanalysts, Ralph Hefferline a university psychology professor, and Paul Goodman, a political writer, in the late 1940s to early 1950s.

    Gestalt therapy works on one simple yet important tennet - "awareness". Here the client is encouraged to develop acute awareness of the experience,” here and now” This awareness assisted by the therapist can go a long way in recognizing and fixing the (internal) problems thereby leading to personal Growth.

    Image source


  • 18 Apr
    Oyindrila Basu

    How To Decide In A Difficult Situation?

    what to do in difficult situation, bipolar disorder

    Dilemma is the truth of life. We all fear to choose between the important and the convenient. We fear to shift from our self-created cozy cocoon which is apparently protecting us from outside dangers; in other words, we fear to take risks. Sometimes, we are confused on what we want. We are stuck in a dilemma in many situations; whether to choose chocolate or strawberry, whether to go on a trip or not to go to save money, whether to go for #The Jungle Book or for #Fan (yes, currently this is the biggest dilemma of the nation :/)

    However, what should we do when we have to take a decision in life for what is right and what we really want?

    1. Ask yourself what you actually want: many a times we go for the convenient job which is giving us a recurrent income to remain comfortable and hassle free. However, that job may not be the kind you actually want to do. Result, you work without enthusiasm; there is no career growth for and years later you realize you haven’t utilised your pro-skills at all. Give a straight answer to the question, “what do I want?” choose exactly what the answer is, that might help you reach on a decision.


    1. Clear your confusions by choosing the more favourable option: may be, you like both chocolate and strawberry; in that case, think which one is your momentary craving; which flavour you are biased for. (of course, please do not end up saying I will have both :)) if you are confused between Fan and Jungle Book, choose the one whose show time is sooner at the mall; by doing so you will at least reach one decision at a time.



    1. Ask yourself whether you will be able to face the mirror- whenever you are stuck up between serious choices, ask yourself this question. If you think of passing a tender by taking some extra money from an agency, there comes a dilemma between your ethics and comfortable life. If you take the money you can assure your family security and luxuries but you will have to compromise with morality in security in job structures. Do that with what you don’t have to be guilty and you can face yourself. You choose to give up job and start writing a novel because you want to. That will disrupt your happy family life for some time, because no one will like it. But ask yourself the question whether what you are doing is right, if the answer is ‘yes’, go ahead.


    1. Whenever you fear to risk, remember, making mistakes takes you to perfection- nobody is a born perfectionist. Even Amir Khan in his earlier days did films like #AtankHiAtank, #TumMereHo and #Mela to reach the position of ‘Mr. Perfectionist’ what he is today :) you learn better from your mistakes, so there is no harm if your attempt fails and you may have to suffer initial loss. Be calculative but do not brainstorm too much on a decision; that is bad for mental health.


    1. Discuss your dilemma with your friends- sometimes mass opinion can confuse you further, but take a chance. Friends can actually help you on a decision. When two sides of you are conflicting with each other on something, ask your friend what you should do, and follow that decision unbiased.


    1. Use your brain for smaller steps and your heart for a bigger one- if a decision is big and life changing, employ your heart into it. Again the same question of what you really want. Your brain can support you in small term gains and losses.


    1. Ask yourself whether you are working on purpose- whatever work you do should have a purpose for self or personal development or towards society as a whole.


    1. Writing down your concerns when you are in dilemma can sometimes help- to take a decision, write your worries on a paper. Also write down what you like. Write out the options in front of you and play a tick mark game. That will help you decide because the overall picture is clear in front of you.


    1. Being decisive is a practice- try practising the art of decisiveness. Be positive. Get clear with your ideas of right and wrong. It will be much easier.


    Check out this TED talk to find out how to take Big decisions:



  • 14 Apr
    Oyindrila Basu

    Why The Jungle Book Is So Interesting And Exciting For A 90s Born?

    Jungle jungle baat chali hai pata chala hai…..are chaddi pahen ke phool khila hai phool khila hai

    A week’s wait used to seem endless as a year for that Sunday morning pleasure in front of the Doordarshan. Our very own native little boy with a pony and yellow fur chaddi will appear with his friends in forest. We would love to see them too; from the cute little squirrel on his shoulders to his fearsome enemy Sher Khan, the tiger king.

    the jungle book 2016

    This year ‘Iron Man’ director Jon Favreau brings us back the nostalgic histories which decades have left behind. Quite unknowingly he plunges into a devious maze of awesome experiences which every 80s and 90s kid has shared, and hence ‘The Jungle Book’ by #WaltDisney is getting so exciting and worth watching for us Indians who are grown up today.

    What can be the main reasons that we 90s kids are so much in awe of Jungle book?

    • The Jungle Book on television is considered to be the most authentic version of screen presentation at least in India and adjacent nations, because the language was Hindi, so we could connect more, in spite of the fact that the author was a foreign man by the name of Rudyard Kipling. Each of the characters spoke in Hindi or Urdu, such that their expressions touched our hearts.


    • The Jungle Book itself is inherently Indian. Rudyard Kipling wrote the book inspired with a forest environment, and the names of his characters are too native like ‘Bhaloo’ (bear in Hindi), ‘Sher Khan’ (‘sher’ means tiger in Hindi), ‘Mowgli’, ‘Ka’ etc. hence it appeals to a 90’s Indian kid far more.


    • In the early 90’s there was no concept of cable or dish TV or multi-channel entertainment. The only channels we had were DD1 and DD-Metro, hence options were limited. So if we liked a show, that would be from the bottom of our hearts. We would be completely engulfed by the show. No wonder Shaktimaan, Chandrakanta, Mahabharat, Ramayana etc. gained world class popularity. And for cartoon lovers there was nothing beyond ‘The Jungle Book’ and the cute adorable Mowgli.


    • Animation had just started gaining popularity in the early 90s. And we were amazed and awestruck to find that animals were speaking as humans. We had learnt in books that lion roars and cow moos. We just couldn’t believe that they could speak as well. This was one of the main reasons that Jungle Book gained so much popularity and continues to rule our hearts. A 2000 kid will never have the same experience with an animation series because later so many more came out following the example of Jungle Book.


    • Our grandmas often told us stories where babies were taken away by wolves and hyenas, so that we would learn to be afraid and cautious of the wild, but The Jungle Book for the first time, broke the stereotypes and showed us children, that animals can be friends, they have emotions, they can be a good family to a man.


    • Even now when we hear the song ‘chaddi pahen ke phool khila hai’ anywhere, may be from far off it comes to our ears, a flood of memories strikes our brain, the lazy Sunday afternoons are back when homework meant naming the colours or counting from 1-5. Childhood is gone but the memories are captured in The Jungle Book, hence we love to recall them again and again.

    the jungle book mogli gif


    This is why the moment the first promos of the English Jungle Book came on air, we 90’s kids were more excited than anyone else to watch it because this was much more than just a movie for us.

    Hence the Hindi-dubbed version is going to be more popular bringing back the voice of Nana Patekar and Om Puri.

    The Hindi Jungle Book is the only truth for 90’s kids.

    Psychologically, we love to relive our good experiences over and over again if opportunity is there.

  • 11 Apr
    Oyindrila Basu

    'Ki & Ka' Have Equal Roles In Making Up A Good Home, A Good Relationship And A Good Society.

    ki and ka arjun kapoor



    I begin my argument with reference to the above article which I was going through today. I have been reading through the comments below, and I really feel that each of them is telling the truth. The article I don't think intends to humiliate women who are good cooks, however, consequentially it does so. In today's era, we cannot write with one-biased attitude. A glorification of an office-going women as against a cook in the kitchen, will no longer be considered highly feminist and empowering. Cooking is an art, and those women or men who love to do it are great 'artists', (no wonder chefs are one of the highest paid professionals) and when you include this art in making a good home, it is equally worthy of making money for survival. Hence a woman who is making aloo-mutter is not wasting her life in the sweats of kitchen, she is actually mastering a great art. And of course, the feeling of getting appreciated by your family is a great experience. But yes, it is true that society has never appreciated the efforts of a good housewife, but have urged her to be one, by mastering domesticity, and the above article is doing nothing better than our society. I agree with the article on one point; if you do not want to learn something, societal call shouldn't force you for it; not everybody should learn everything. Very true. However, be it a man or a woman, everybody should have their hands on household necessities, because you never know when you need to do it yourself. And homemade food is always healthier and tastier (if well made) than outside food, if husband or wife can cook, hence it is always better to learn something new (even American nutritional departments advice taking homemade food, if you have an option). But again it is a matter of choice. If you want to learn cooking and household works, you will be independent of your maid-concept, if you don't want to learn, you don't like it, then you should not do it.

    But one question to the writer of the above linked article: Will you accept a husband who is not professionally successful and doesn't even want to be so???

    Watched Ki & Ka by R. Balki, at AMC Methuen 20, USA, yesterday, and really liked the concept of putting equivalent emphasis and importance to each role, that of a breadwinner and a homemaker. Kareena and Arjun played their roles with exceptional individualism; There is nothing wrong if a woman is ambitious, there is nothing wrong if a woman chooses his career over child bearing as a married lady, there is no harm if a woman chooses to be successful in corporate field and a man in the house. However, the unusual factor was not that a husband is doing household work; there are various unusual factors in the movie which helps correct our prejorative notions on a man's role and a woman's role in a household. 


    1. Arjun Kapoor disdains the idea that if a woman is not ambitious and chooses to be a housewife means "woh ghar pe baithi hai", no, she is not sitting at home, in fact, giving more of physical labour to make a home worth living for a normal man.

    2. The husband doesn't feel he does something great by supporting his wife. He wants to be free of competition, and hence loves his job as a cook and homemaker.

    3. The tussle is not between man and woman; the conflict is between the breadwinner and the financially dependent homemaker. Socially, whoever earns the money in the family, is the hero, and enjoys the limelight, no-one appreciates the efforts of the home-maker, (the above referred article is no-way different from our general propaganda) Ki & Ka navigates this simple, but apparently invisible fact and also takes a step ahead to correct it, by giving importance to the house husband as well, thus, also exposing the reality that breadwinner does feel jealous of his/her dependent homemaker, though it is not right to be so, independent of gender.

    4. Also breaks the stereotype that there can be a working woman, but no non-working man. It is worth appreciating how Kia sets an assertive and appreciative example by accepting a man and loving him for what he is, irrespective of his money or social status.

    Coming back to the referred article. As I said, it is always good to have some experience with household work for your self safety, irrespective of gender. Foreign do not encourage maids or labour of that kind, and there are places like Norway, Nordic where you do not get ready-made foods as well so easily. Then?However, I cook, I write good articles, I read books on various subjects including religious literacy, I work professionally as a writer, proof reader and reviewer, and I believe being an expert in Chinese and Italian cuisines doesn't diminish my wisdom, as I continue to have healthy political, social and literary arguments with my husband. It is not obvious that everybody should know everything, but it is obvious that you need food to live, and clean the bed and the house to survive, and you cannot deny it, so no comparison with learning household works and other skills like MBA, dance or photography.


    Responses 1

    • Oyindrila Basu
      Oyindrila Basu   Sep 04, 2016 09:23 PM

      Absolutely... It actually portrays a balance of roles, and goes beyond the cliched discussion of gender bias; there is no feminist outrage as to why a girl should sacrifice her career for household and why not a man etc. etc. These arguments and questions are old enough without an answer... Ki and Ka shows a balance in mentalities, something which is really normal and the best way to progress.

  • 09 Sep
    Trisha Ray

    Introverts vs. extroverts: Ways to improve public speaking skills for both

    extrover and introvert

    Public speaking: a nightmare or an exciting challenge? Either of this can come to the mind of a person who has been or will have to do public speaking.

    Public speaking almost always causes stress. For some it may be eustress and for some distress. Some people believe that this difference is connected to the 2 continuum of personality: Introversion and Extraversion.

    Introverts are mostly not good in public speaking while extroverts generally are good at it. This statement, even though, seems outright logical, is not always true. Both may not always excel in public speaking and again both might. There is no absolute causal relation found between the two as yet.

    Introverts are people who tends to shrink from social contacts and to become preoccupied with their own thoughts and Extraverts are people who are concerned more with practical realities than with inner thoughts and feelings.

    However, with regards to public speaking, both have scope for improvement. Here are a few ways in which both can improve their public speaking skills:


    For Introverts:

    If you’re an introvert, you may be terrified or very anxious about publicly speaking. But you have some great benefits as well that you can put to use.

    Most likely you will be very well planned in advance and will have well practiced your parts.

    Also,  you will not be attracted to the razzmatazz and will be more focused on delivering. Other introverts in the crowd too who are scared themselves of speaking up will be able to empathize with you more and will be less anxious themselves to ask you questions.

    However, in order to outshine certain people in the crowd, you can adopt the ways below:


     Keep your focus on your speech:

    Remember to focus always makes you less nervous. Instead of thinking or filling yourself with nervousness, focus more on the job in hand, i.e., speaking. Always remember there will be people sitting in the crowd who will empathize with your situation and be attentive listeners. So instead of worrying about how you perform, think about how you will deliver.


     Pretend the audience is your close group of friends:

    Instead of thinking of the actual people sitting in the crowd, pretend and think of them as your own personal group of friends in front of whom you freely express and speak in general times. Conjuring them in your mind in this manner, will help you feel less anxious and will keep the momentum going. You will automatically feel more comfortable in opening yourself up.


    Wearing the mask:

    Sometimes the best idea is to put on the mask of an outgoing personality, even if you are not. This requires practice too, but it’s not an impossible task. Observe someone who is good at public speaking and pick up certain aspects you can adopt. Put on the mask and deliver to your best.


    Create an atmosphere wherein the audience can relate to you:

    Research the crowd you will be facing beforehand, if possible. That will give you a perspective on who all you will be facing. Once you know that, start with something that will connect the audience with you. Once the audience starts relating to you, it will be easier for you and the feeling of tension in you will reduce.



    If you are an Extrovert, it’s very likely that you will be comfortable speaking in front of an audience.

    It might even be an adrenaline rush for you. But the challenge most likely for you will be in keeping the audience connected with yourself.

    Also the chances of getting carried away with the adrenaline at that moment and experiencing a shift in focus or getting diverted to a different topic might be there.

    In order to avoid such situation and to stand out the best among other speakers, the ways mentioned below can be adopted:


    Don’t run away with yourself and Make a double – end conversation:

    Make sure you connect with the crowd and is not a one sided speaker. If you keep rambling, your crowd may not find any interest in your speech and it will end up disrupting the end purpose.

    A double- end conversation, is one where there is a reciprocal relation between the audience and the speaker. The reciprocation can be verbal or non-verbal, but in public speaking, having a reciprocal relationship adds value to public speaking. Make sure that the audience is reacting to what you are saying, either verbatim or through their expressions. That enriches the entire public speaking experience.


     Curb it down a little:

    It is possible that you might be having a lot of energy and enthusiasm, but it is not always necessary that everyone in the audience too will have the same level of energy. So go back, observe and reflect on what is exactly required to motivate the audience and to make the them feel connected.


     Focus on the pauses as well:

    Make sure you pause in between your speeches. Give some breather time to both yourself and the audience. It helps to gauge the audience’s reaction at that moment. Pauses also gives you some time to think if the direction of your speech is heading the right way or it’s going off- course. This affects the quality of your speech.


     Keep a track of your time:

    Often with Extroverts, the timings go off limit because of their enthusiasm of connecting with the larger audience. It is again very important to have a time limit to have an enriching public speaking experience. Make sure you are wearing a watch on your hand or you have a wall clock nearby. This will help you keep track of your time.


    Since public speaking is something we normally don’t do as part of our daily living (except for some people whose job description demands it), it is natural that we have to pick up certain skills to be able to perfect it. Practice and balanced confidence are the keywords here.

    It is evident that you practice before any public speaking session, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert and have the self-confidence to believe that you can give your best performance every time.

    Go ahead! Give yourself that push and overcome your fears. Public speaking, I assure you, is not that tough. At least it is not life threatening.

    Image source

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