• 03 May
    Oyindrila Basu

    How can we save the students?- A case reflection on Kota Suicide Incidents

    kota suicide

    “I fear I will not be able to achieve a significant grade this time as well in my entrance, and this will be my last chance as my father has warned”, Anonymous student.

    With increasing competition in academic and professional fields, pressure on young students is also increasing.

    Everyone is striving for the best place and if you have to survive in the race and reach a commonplace sustainability, you have to be better than the great.

    Your scores in your entrance exams will decide your rank and eventually where you will get placed. Gradually organizations are shrinking from doing any form of career counselling in the colleges and it is yet another form of pressure.

    Everybody is an engineer today; a software worker so you have to score really exceptional even for a moderate professional position. There is a lot of expectation on these tender minds; of their parents; of their teachers and of society. Choices and options are getting limited day by day and huge masses are thronging in one or two particular kinds of career scopes. Often this is leading to disillusionment and despair. Students are following a channel blindly not knowing what they want to do.

    When these young people fail to reach the expected results, or even if they are afraid that they will score lesser than what they have pre-assessed, they lose hope and this is the cause of suicide attempt among fresh students especially in medical and engineering sectors.

    kota suicide

     

    Recently, another disheartening incident of alleged suicide was found in Kota where a 17-year old IIT aspirant jumped from the fifth floor of building because she couldn’t meet her expectations with IIT-JEE Mains results. The case has been reported in Jawharnagar police station. This is the fifth consecutive case of suicide in Kota this year and this is not only shocking but really fearsome that neither colleges, government nor the law of the country is being able to take a protective action. The trend is gradually spreading like an epidemic.

    kota suicide

    Suicidal thoughts can be terrifying, isolating, all-consuming, confusing or exhausting due to loss, grief, depression, anxiety, tension and other regular impressionable factors.

    They can be identified with weight loss, change in appetite, fatigue, disillusionment, disconnect with physical body, lack of motivation and denial of health.

    You can keep yourself away from such thoughts by focussing on the following:

    • Stay away from drugs and alcohol.
    • View something which you like; a good picture or family album; or maybe you can have something which you enjoy like chocolate or smell a goof perfume or just look outside to see the blessed Nature.
    • Keep yourself motivated with healthy diet and lifestyle, good books and productive work (beyond profession or academics)
    • Write down your thoughts
    • Talk to people.

    Apart from the general ideas, healthy counselling can really help in removing suicidal thoughts.

    Suicidal thoughts are most commonly addressed using a relatively new form of counselling known as DBT -  dialectical behaviour therapy. DBT is a specially adapted form of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). It applies two different techniques:

    • acceptance techniques
    • change techniques.

    Acceptance techniques focus on making sense of who you are and what you do. It aims to show you that no matter how destructive your behaviour is, it still makes sense - it is still a valid coping mechanism.

    Change techniques focus on ways you can change your behaviour and learn more effective, less destructive ways of coping with your distress. You will learn to replace destructive behaviours with behaviours that allow you to move on to a better place in life.

    These sessions may last a couple of hours per week depending on the criticality of your situation.

    kota suicide

    Counselling can help a person regain self-confidence and generally here a patient learns how to deal with crisis periods rather than succumbing to distress and fate.

    You can free yourself from the panic and tension without using medicines or any lingering drug. Counselling helps you settle with your situation and identify your true potentials which helps you accept yourself and gradually you learn to be better from what you are.

    For this purpose, eWellness Expert goes beyond their online portal to help young students in schools and colleges with their weekly and bi-weekly personal visits.

    These kind of counselling provisions at educational institutions and academic organizations can actually foster better mental health of youngsters and consequentially develop better results in group.

    Youth is the future of a nation and they are really precious and valuable so instead of forcing them into unrealistic expectations, we should try and recover their productive minds.

    We at eWellness Expert want to offer all kind of help and support. If you are a student feeling low or  parents of such an student or coaching owner and want to help your students, please feel free to reach us on support@ewellnessexpert.com or +9180-49545127

     

  • 01 May
    Oyindrila Basu

    Morning Shows The Day- May Be It shows You Life

    good morning quotes

    ‘Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise’

    It is a very old proverb we learnt in schools; our parents often kept advising us. However, we never really understood the connection between waking up and getting wealthy.

    Morning is powerful. The way you embrace the early morning, will determine how you feel the rest of the day. If you begin the day early you will be able to assess various things that you have done in your past days; realize your mistakes in rumination and progress with a corrective approach.

    Waking up early stretches the day for you and you have a lot of time for planned works. You can also invest some time on yourself, and that is very important. There should be enough passing seconds for worshipping your body and find so that you stay fit and can endure with the pressures of the day.

    Morning hours help you set the time table for the day. You can also get some extra time to practice your skills when you wake up early; may be brush up your wisdom tooth a little extra time.

    The author of ‘The Miracle Morning’, Hal Elrod believes that waking up early had actually changes his life 360 degrees.

    “I was just desperate,’ says Hal on the phone from his home on the West Coast of America. ‘I’d lost my house and half my income, and was really struggling financially, emotionally and physically.  One day I started thinking about what the world’s most successful people were doing every day that I wasn’t.

    'I’d read that the thing that they all have in common is that they swear by their morning ritual: they all wake up before they have to be up and work on themselves”, Elrod agrees.

    The very effective SAVERS contributes to a healthy body and mind which eventually leads to a successful career and work structure.

    According to Elrod:

    S is for silence- this means a kind of a meditation which will be purposeful. A kind of mindfulness which will awaken your senses and relieve you from anxiety and depressive thoughts.

    A is for affirmation- having a fixed goal is important. You should clear about what you actually want in life and how you want to do it. May be a self-conversation can help you set your objective.

    V is for visualization- After you have set your goal for the day and have clearly decided on what you want to do, you should sit upright and set a mind’s eye on your idyllic existence, where you accomplish every task in the day within a prescribed time. This automatically boosts you to get to work.

    E is for exercise- It has often been discussed that exercise is a very important part of your daily life activity if you want to be fit especially in the mind. Mental wellness largely depends on exercise. When you release yourself from the physical fatigue and heaviness of the night, you feel free mentally. Exercise works as a stress buster and you can overcome the lagging headaches from the previous day.

    R is for reading- Creating a reading habit in the beginning of the day is a very good practise. Anything new can be easily imbibed when the mind is fresh. Reading can come in any form to you. you have books and articles on everything nowadays. If you want to achieve success in business you have articles giving you tips on that; if you want to be good in relationship, you have books on that. Precisely if you want to be entertained you can just go through page 3 articles, however, reading is important to learn.

    S is for scribing that is journaling- Reading is connected with writing. You can jot down anything that you find important for the day. May be your daily plan or something new that you have learnt about or just your goal for the life and the steps with which you want to achieve it (may be one step a day)

    10 minutes on each of these per day can help you build a successful movement towards your dream or goal in life.

     

    But making a good habit a part of your life is not so easy. You require a deep sense of commitment to make a practise a habit. We have earlier discussed in one of our previous articles on ’21-days theory’ which in recent times has turned to be a myth for habit formation. There are a few things that can help if we really want to succeed. None of us likes waking up early. So what can we do?

    1. We can set a time previously and commit to ourselves that we will wake up at that time.
    2. We should set the alarm and put it somewhere far from us, so that we have to literally move across the room to dismiss it and we will naturally be motivated to wake up.
    3. Immediate morning activities can help gaining more movement and energy.
    4. Getting ready for workout is also a challenge. So without a thought we should plunge into our jogging suits so that there is no delay in the activity.
    5. If too sleepy, we should have water to revive us from our tiredness.
    6. Then we should make ourself lemon tea or a cup of coffee to start reading.

    “So, I started doing it every day. Two months after my first “Miracle Morning” I had more than doubled my income; gone from being in terrible shape to deciding to run a 52-mile ultra-marathon; and from being deeply depressed to the happiest I have ever been.” Says Elrod.

    He continues his practise and his book is among one of the bestsellers on Amazon.

    So start the ‘miracle morning’ from tomorrow itself and gradually forward towards a bigger achievement.

    References 1

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  • 29 Apr
    Oyindrila Basu

    Can Arranged Marriages Be Marked As Successful Relationships?

    arranged marriage

    In our Indian culture, a big fat wedding takes place with the grandeur of gold and diamonds; with the sweetness of 55 varieties of high calorie sugar treats and 200 expensive orchid branches, however, the key components- bride and the groom are often lost in all this hoch poch and hence they are made to shine with the best designer sherwani and the best saree or lehenga for THE DAY. Also they should be remembered by everyone and themselves for centuries, so they are shot in multiple poses by the best photographers in town.

    Now after so much expenditure and cost settlement, which fool will ever dare to forget or ‘care’ less for ‘the day’ or partner even though they do not know each other!

    In other words, marriage in India is a thought embedded by the society through its rituals and customs and once you are through the fire circles, you are bound to be committed not only to your partner but to his/her entire family.

    Hence arranged marriages in India have their own history and perhaps for our previous generations, they marked 90% success rate.

    However, this percentage is slowly falling. Modern day relationships including marriage, is failing in keeping up the stronghold on future, be it in India or abroad.

    Places like America is less likely to be successful in setting a trend with arranged marriages because of certain reasons like:

    • Independent thought process in case of personal choice.
    • Dominance of romantic love as a cause for marriage.
    • A lack of history and cultural background for arranged marriages.
    • A lack of community support in pursuing such a thing as getting married first and love later.

    However, in this context, India is leading as arranged marriages have been the only truth 100 years from now, and even today, society gets you hitched to someone approximately suitable, at a particular age if you are unable to find a match for yourself by then. Yes, today you are given the scope to look out for your choice at least, and that is the only difference.

    The concept of arranged marriages are so popular in India due to the following reasons:

    • Cultural belief in the purity and sanctity of marriage- marriage is considered to be the gate pass for any other form of physical or emotional contact between two persons, hence marriage should take place first and then love should develop. In fact, love between unmarried people were considered to be a crime till one point of time.

     

    • Rationally, two unknown persons starting off a new life together seems thrilling- when two unknown people get married and start a new life together, they tend to discover the experiences together. They share the joy and sorrow of each new moment which is unexpected and unexperienced by both. You discover about each other; you discover about the relationship. There is a mystery; there is a newness; an adventure; it is like a thrilling joy ride when you get something unwarranted every moment hence you enjoy the marital life.

     

    • Lot of gifts and present exchanges- arranged marriages give the families scope for exchanging gifts and presents so they are happy too.

     

    • Fore selection by parents- in the Indian culture, man and woman do not choose partners, their parents do it for them; that is the right thing; respect is inevitably maintained.

    The practice continues even today, however, no form of marriage love, or arranged, cannot guarantee the success rate of the relationship.

    We have discussed the cultural benefits of arranged marriage in our country as compared to that of America, however, there are several standard reasons why an arranged marriage is sure to fall apart in today’s date even in India, where societal boycott for breaking commitment no longer remains a concern for couples to maintain a love-lost relationship:

    • Arranged marriage calls for commitment; for care and responsibility. But we wonder whom to care for? The other person whom we are married to is kind of a stranger. We do not share any strong emotional ties initially, so why to care! The person we have to care for, we realise we do not know him/her. That causes a kind of duality in thought.

     

    • We do not want to make the compromises or try hard for the person whom we just don’t know. Any relationship calls for a certain amount of compromises. You have to try really hard to make a relationship work amidst misunderstandings and differences in opinions. We want to try when we love the person, but why should someone try at all if he or she doesn’t care?

     

    • The closeness created by an arranged marriage is not something that you can rely on. It can thrill you instantly, however, the tie is less likely to survive a fatal disaster in the face of relationship.

     

    • When there are hard times, an arranged marriage couple feels each other, as burden.

     

    • Friendship takes time to develop. Knowing each other becomes a slow process in case of arranged marriages and people do not have that amount of time today.

     

    • Also marrying for the sake of marrying and not marrying the specific person is a kind of insult to the partner, and when this fact comes up time and again, neither of the partner, complies to it and arguments and misunderstanding start off.

    Success of a relationship, especially marriage lies on commitment and understanding. It is upto you whether you develop that understanding with love or with marriage first. It also depends on your holistic approach towards relationships.

    Image source

     

  • 27 Apr
    Oyindrila Basu

    Udta Punjab- A Story About Fight Against Drug Abuse.

    udta punjab alia bhatt as bihari girl

    Bollywood have significantly affected in improvement and decrement of society from time to time. We can never deny its role in spreading awareness regarding serious issues which are generally neglected or less spoken off due to stigma associated with them.

    Substance abuse is one such thing which strongly harms the youth of the nation; we know it; we hate it but never take firm steps against it. As a result, day after day the number of drug addict teenagers are increasing in the country; the trafficking is running successfully which is fetching millions to its traders and business is globally flourishing at the expense of the derogating youth.

    But we hesitate speaking about it.  ‘Drugs! Oh my God! So cheap; decent people don’t bring such things on their mouth’, this is the typical dramatic reaction our society gives to issues which are actually serious and needs treatment.

    Addicts are avoided. They are never guided in the right way. They need counselling; the help of an expert to free themselves from the shackles of dreadful substances, but unfortunately social stigma hinders this process as well. Addicts are either sent to rehabs which are more like asylums and they are tagged as unacceptable or one form of mad in the society.

    This attitude needs rectification first. More learning and education on the matter is required to understand the type of drugs, their ill-effects and how addicts can be helped out of the situation.

    The 2016 upcoming thriller by Abhishek Chaubey, is yet another attempt to reform the negativity encircling the issues of drug abuse.

    The story revolves around the life of four different people, a doctor, a cop, a rockstar and an ordinary rural girl; four different stories are intertwined with a common theme of increasing problem of drug abuse in Punjab.

    This is getting hyped and popularized in this era for quite some time. However, Bollywood had significantly paved the pathway for such bold movies on substance abuse with Hare Rama Hare Krishna (1971) and Naya Nasha (1973).

    udta punjab cast

    This film stars Shahid Kapoor, Kareena Kapoor, Alia Bhatt and Diljit Dosanj in the pivotal roles and together they fight for a cause, to drive out drug trafficking from the nation and produce a clean and green environment for the future generation.

    We have been researching and presenting topics on how to get rid of your addictions, hence this Bollywood film will definitely find a special place in our motion as its objective deals with the same.

    Famous names such as that of Jim Morrison and Valerie Bertinelli have been associated with drug addiction. However, their fight has been incredible. They have succeeded in overcoming their weakness and hence stand as popular faces on television, film music and other creative and cultural zones of life.

    udta punjab drugs di maa di

    "It took me years after stopping the cocaine before I was able to enjoy a sunrise and enjoy the sound of birds,” says Valerie.

    No fight is an easy one; its difficult to say no to your addiction. You make a rule; you break it yourself. Trying is important and Udta Punjab plays that trial towards awareness on drugs, crimes and its ill effects and together we move and say “Drugs Di Maa Di” (no offense with the abuse please J that’s the tagline.)

  • 10 Sep
    Oyindrila Basu

    Why do we get anxious for email ?

    man on a laptop 

    Strange is the power of internet and the cyber world; it can get you friends and foes.

    Everyday, you meet new people on the web through the social networking sites; earlier, google chats served the same purpose somewhat, and this is the way we get to know the world closer; at the same time this web connection is giving us serious problems like addiction, headache, eye pain and stress.

    Today the mail through Google or Yahoo or Outlook is more of a serious business; most office conversations are completed through email, and hence it is important presently.

    But the more the number of unread mails in your inbox, the more your panic attack symptoms, have you ever realized that?

    I am sure, some of you did; even I do sometimes, feel worried and nervous when there are too many unread mails in my inbox, I go through the senders and subject line to ensure that nothing disastrous has happened to my career! laughing

    Ron Friedman, a psychologist and author of "The Best Place To Work,” declares with his observation that the count of new emails is known to be one of the highest anxiety causing factors in today’s life.

    The simple reason is, when you see that there are so many mails waiting for you to be viewed (despite the fact that you had cleared your inbox the last evening), you know each of them is a form of demand placed on you, which requires your attention, and then your effort. You have to go through them and then again have to spend time and energy in deciding on them, and that will equip you overly, the thought of which is stress provoking; you might have planned of completing your work quickly today and go home early for dinner, and now these many emails hurl a load of extra impending tasks on you, which you have to attend, but was not planned earlier.

    Some times more number of awaiting mails in your work id can stress you further, because you start anticipating their content.

    If I wake up in the morning and view a large number of mails from my office, I start wondering whether I have made some new mistake in my work due to which so many mails are there as a repurcation; perhaps I have not delivered something yesterday which I was supposed to, hence they have mailed me to remind me of my failure to reach the deadline; what if they again found out something faulty; what if they throw me out of my job… can you see the pattern of anxious thoughts after viewing your inbox?

    If you are worried of your job, you are definitely suffering from anxiety, and that is serious, isn’t it?

    "There's no question that constantly checking email is bad for both productivity and quality of life," Friedman adds.

    Of course if we have to go through our mails constantly, it wastes a lot of quality time, and that is true.

     

    So what do we do, to make our lives a bit, more healthy?

    1. First thing in the morning when you sit with your laptop for work, should NOT be checking your office mail account.

    2. Sip a warm cup of coffee and go through some online newspapers, or journals to read something of your interest. May be, you can watch some good videos too. Once you are settled in the mind, you can begin your work.

    3. Prepare yourself for more work each day. Before you check your list of mails, be prepared mentally that today they will be more than yesterday; you have to do more work. This can make you feel tired initially, but it has a positive side too, if you have more responsibilities to perform today, it means your efficiency is well-measured and hence you have more tasks from the office, so you will never lose your job Automatically, when you are prepared for something, you won’t be anxious; if you find there are less mails than your expectation, then fine, great, be happy, less work, less pressure.

    4. Do not palpitate before viewing the content of your mails, some just need to be ignored and rejected.

    5. Practice mindfulness every morning to get rid of your anxious thoughts.

    Read also: How does mindfulness reduce anxiety?

    Image source

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