• 06 Aug
    Oyindrila Basu

    Why sex is turning out to be the least important thing in our daily lives and relationships?

    couple on smartphone

    It is shocking isn’t it? In an era when we are getting exposed to sexual education and its implications everyday, sex itself is losing its importance and priority in our activities.

    Statistically, it has been proven, that amongst 16-44 years age population,  it found that women were having sex an average of 4.8 times a month and men, 4.9. Ten years ago this was 6.3 and 6.2, and 10 years before that, 6.1 and 6.4.

    Sex is something that helps us in many ways;

    It makes us feel good about ourselves

    It gives us satisfaction

    It is a productive medium for reciprocating our amorous feelings for our partner

    It also keeps us physically fit (taking into account that regular diseases like cough, cold, influenza, asthma and hereditary infections can be cured with having a regular healthy sex-life)

    It is a vital step for procreation, though we are not inclined to discuss that at the moment as we are talking about sex and good mental health.

    So why is it, that the current generation, which is so open about relationships and partner choosing and reluctant to have sex?


    Is the progeny turning out to be bearers of under-active sexual hormones? No it may not be so.

    Today, out television programs, films and documentaries are much open about sex and sexual procedures.

    Earlier, films depicted sex in a very creative way (especially in Indian cinema), a picture of two flowers mating, or bees uniting with their parent flower, which is toady considered to be unrealistic and foolish, and it is true.

    Today, every culture is progressing where creation of art is considered. Visual arts like cinema is becoming a medium of message, education and propagation of social awareness. Actions are much more realistic, especially love-making scenes are bold practically structured.

    Documentaries and articles are discussing daily on the human body, its biological constructions and their implications on sex.

    This has been aimed towards an open culture and proper knowledge.

    But on the contrary, it is making us over thoughtful about sex and its procedures.


    Factors contributing to these facts: 

    When surveyed, it has been found that most people open up about their sexual anxieties which is mostly associated with satisfying their partners. People are too much concerned about the right procedure to accomplishing the perfect sex and this is the reason why, they lose the desire before engaging in the action. Things are becoming too technical, and nowadays, a couple chooses to learn a lot before doing something, ‘research’ is becoming more important than actual experience.

    A gynaecologist is an expert on human bodies, especially the female body, and many of them, across different countries of the world have reported that they lack the lust towards their wives; there is nothing hidden from them, there is nothing new to discover, it is a part of their profession, hence for others, sex acts as a relaxation while for them, it is more of culturing with the human body, again, hence they feel lesser urge to have sex with their partners. If their wives are gynaecologists as well, they do understand the psychology.

    The same theory can be closely associated with the attitude of the present generation towards sex, though not fully.

    More knowledge and education, instead of making people comfortable and progressive, are making them more fearful and anxious towards sex and sex-life.

    Besides, media, social world etc. are becoming so active that its making our personal lives inactive.

    We are behaving like robots these days, checking our Instagram and whatsapp on phone while having dinner with friends and family; is this a good practice? We come back from work and start scrolling through the Facebook posts, photos and videos not knowing what we are actually looking for.

    We check through the vacation photos of our friends and comment lazily on them, instead of planning a vacation for ourselves, we keep playing the #Asphalt game mechanically instead of talking to our spouse for a few minutes, or if we have nothing to do, we just switch on the TV and keep surfing the channels, communicating comes as a second thought, if we at all have time after such productive works, and sex being a part of that communication with your partner also comes as an afterthought; you can just miss it if you are sleepy.

    Earlier, when there was not so much around to entertain us, in fact, those ages, when electricity would run out in India after evening time, communicating with your partner in the most creative ways was the best form of entertainment and it kept your relationship healthy.

    But now, we are becoming progressive, we are advancing, but we are losing on important things in our life, our personal relations, friends, family, life-partner; we do not have the time.

    As a result, we are becoming stressed out, we are having headaches staring at digital screens for 22 hours/24 in a day, more physical diseases, ill-health, poor mental health, and funny thing is, we do nothing to change it.


    So what is the solution?

    Please realize social network is weakening your social skills, it is stealing away your time of personal interactions. May be your partner feels neglected and hence he/she is indulging in these mechanical mediums too.

    1. Everyday, spend five minutes in the morning sitting quietly doing nothing.
    2. After coming back from work, engage in making the evening coffee with your spouse instead of turning on the TV.
    3. Surfing and scrolling on social networking sites should not take more than half an hour of your day, promise yourself.
    4. Stop watching weird videos or photos on sex.
    5. There is no need to flip to every article on sex.
    6. The more time you spend with your partner, the more desired you will feel towards him/her.
    7. Discover yourselves daily with new surprises with each other.
    8. Go for a net-free vacation with him/her.

    Sex is natural, it is healthy for your heart and mind, it will come naturally, do not overthink it. It can be a great stress buster.

    Image source


  • 06 Aug
    Oyindrila Basu

    Prisma creates a positive notion about yourself.

    prisma image

    Prisma! Prisma! Prisma! This app is doing wonders across social networking sites for iOs users. The Gen-next is always engaged in something new, something creative and flaunting them on the web, and Prisma app is actually fuelling the urge to produce Beauty out of Truth, which is wonderful.

    It is not about just a picture or an image that you post on your Facebook as DP; it affects your emotions; it makes you feel good about yourself; it gives you the dream opportunity to be the model of a great art-work, or be a part of the favourite comic poster that you have always admired.

    Prisma allows you to convert your true self into a piece of art work through multiple filters which is much better as compared to Instagram apps, and makes the final image appear as that of a painting by Van Gogh or Picasso. All of us have always wished (while appreciating Renaissance paintings) we could be a part of that; someone would paint us as was done for Monalisa, and the age of technology miraculously fulfils this wish with the Prisma.

    This app is becoming so popular because it is imbibing a positive vibe amongst its users; it is boosting them with self-confidence and self-appreciation; we are being able to see us in new light and produce that picture to others as well. Sub consciously, it is making us proud of ourselves; hence it is a huge step towards self-awareness, healthy mind and healthy body.

    "Art accesses some of the most advanced processes of human intuitive analysis and expressivity and a key form of aesthetic appreciation is through embodied cognition, the ability to project oneself as an agent in the depicted scene," said Christopher Tyler, director of the Smith-Kettlewell Brain Imaging Center, during the related panel discussion at Walters Art Museum in 2014.

    AAAS events have researched and described since 2013, how engaging in art positively affects the brain, as a creator and an observer.

    While using the Prisma app, we are the creator, as well as the observer; we can view the creations of our friends and relatives and we engage in a critical appreciation of this comparative art work on web which gives an aesthetic pleasure to the brain. This art form helps us to relax, relieve our stress, boosts our cognitive abilities towards creativity, and the qualities developed through this, can be applied into other works as well.

    Since the artistic selfies appear like Van Gogh paintings, we can conclude that the app is inspired from the famous painters of the 16th-17th century. In this context we cannot ignore the fact that art had positively inspired Van Gogh who was already suffering from depression and paralyzing anxiety with symptoms of bipolar, however, his art gave him an escape from the drudgeries of reality and we could get beautiful creations like The Starry Night, Irises and Almond Blossoms. But besides these, we also need to mention here the self-portraits by the artist like ‘Self-Portrait with Straw Hat’ by Vincent van Gogh, winter 1887/1888 and Self-Portrait with Bandaged Ear,’ 1889, painted shortly after he sliced off his own ear; it proves that in that time too, there was a necessity and enthusiasm to view the self-image into a piece of art which gave comfort amidst adversities, like we do in selfies today.

    Prisma app does the same; today we all are stressed out with our work-life, responsibilities, competition and social situations; a simple artistic app gives us moments of joy, it fuels our imagination and we can ‘create’ what we like of ourselves.

    If summarized-

    1. Prisma makes us beautiful.
    2. When we look beautiful, we feel happy.
    3. To look beautiful, we need to put our creative skills into use while choosing the filters.

    Hence it is a great way to ease ourselves of stress, tension, anxiety and perpetuate into good mental health, while being at par with technological advancements.


  • 02 Aug
    Oyindrila Basu

    Hypothyroidism and Psychological Health


    Hypothyroidism is a kind of ‘under-active thyroid’. This means that one suffering from it, shows a lack of thyroid hormones adequately necessary for proper metabolism of the body. Hence, one with hypothyroidism will show slow metabolism rate due to which he/she can feel fatigue and weight gain.

    As many as 10% of women show a deficiency in the thyroid hormone.

    There can be two major causes for this- firstly, inflammation of thyroid glands which damage a major portion of the mass required for normal functioning of the body.

    Second cause can be due to medical treatment of thyroid for prevention of other diseases like cancer; if a part of the necessary amount of thyroid gland is removed, it can show later problems like hypothyroidism.

    However, the bodily dysfunction is not entirely physiological. Hypothyroidism develops slowly and is associated with symptoms like, fatigue, lethargy, weight gain, coarse hair, hair loss, rough skin etc. but we cannot neglect the mental symptoms of this disease which are memory loss, irritability, depression, and stress.

    Hypothyroidism affects in poor mental health, and a major reason is hormonal imbalance, which has been considered a primordial factor for fluctuating moods in human beings, especially among women. The same reason is applicable for deterioration of mental health due to hypothyroidism.

    When the body doesn’t undergo proper digestion, we normally feel heavy, overweight and pulled down which is directly associated with swinging depression and sadness.

    Low mood, stress and abnormal worry about self is common in this case.

    Fatigue and lethargy, physically can affect you poorly in the mind, one feels distracted and dejected with life, when they lack energy.

    Abnormal menstrual cycles and decreased libido are caused during hypothyroidism which again relates to mental health condition; low self-esteem, anxiety and organic psychosis are easily observable.

    Hypothyroidism invariably affects the intellectual abilities of a common individual.

    However psychological disorders if prevailed before the development of this disease, cannot be related to lack of thyroid, but it is difficult to identify and distinguish them, because the psychiatric symptoms are similar for both, and hypothyroidism slowly grows in the body, hence changes are noticeable over a period of time. Hence proper diagnosis is very important.

    What can be the possible remedy?

    Of course, medical therapy indulging in psychiatric medications by specialized experts, is necessary.

    Thyroxine was earlier used for balancing the effects of thyroid deficiency, however today, lithium therapy is gaining popularity due to its natural properties and have been proved to be useful to middle aged women, who are most vulnerable to symptoms of hypothyroidism.

    What can you do to prevent this or improve your situation?

    During hypothyroidism, people develop numerous intolerances towards different kinds of food, temperature etc.

    Stay away from Gluten- avoid processed wheat products or dairy products from cow. If you take dairy, it can be from goat or sheep milk, to avoid inflammation of thyroid glands.

    Check your iodine level- If they are low, use more of iodised salts, kelp or iodine supplements.

    Detoxify your body- intake of detoxifying agents are remove those harmful metal generates from your cells and organs.

    Lower carbohydrate intake- reduce the intake of sugars and grains, and replace them with healthy fats; more carb has increase estrogen level, especially in women, which affect the thyroid negatively.

    Image source


  • 01 Aug
    Oyindrila Basu

    Fiction engages our brain in Empathy

    reading fictions

    We read fictions to fuel our imagination. We love entering a world which may be similar or different from the real existence and we admire the myriad hues of the characters painted by the author.

    We can associate with them, communicate with them internally, and we don’t realize when they become a part of our daily life and family. In other words, fiction give us an escape from the morbidities of our regular real existence; sometimes we read fiction to achieve company; characters which are similar to us; whose sufferings or problems, we can relate with, often inspire us to forget our drudgeries.


    However, scientific researches prove that fiction does much more than that; reading a fiction affects our emotionality, it makes us more empathetic.

    Not only through books, any form of fiction including Television Dramas, engages us and we feel one with the characters of the narrative; we feel their joy and sorrow and empathize with their predicament the more we follow the visual or printed text.

    Keith Oatley, of the Department of Applied Psychology and Human Development at the University of Toronto, Canada directs towards one such scientific study where it was observed that participants were not much affected, or never felt any empathy for TV documentaries or their characters, as they did for Television fiction series.

    When we read Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, we do feel an innate pride for the self-empowered heroine Elizabeth; we acknowledge her self-respect and get inspired to behave rationally like her in ourselves; at the same time, we empathize with her due to her social situation and her wrong decisions due to prejudice.

    However, Oatley suggests, that reading fiction make a person more social and develops his/her communication skills.

    In the journal Trends in Cognitive Sciences, he refers to a study conducted by him and his peers, studying the impact of novels on reader’s brain function in daily life.

    While in the field of psychology, functional magnetic resonance imaging(FMRI) which is a form of brain imaging, had already shown that imagination-encouraging phrases like pitch “pitch black night” or “reddish orange carpet”, instigated the hippocampus, the part of the brain mostly responsible for memory, the “Mind In the Eyes” research by Oatley et al. showed that subjects reading fictional books scored much higher than subjects who read non-fictional books after viewing 36 images of people’s eyes.

    This proves that reading fiction makes a person more empathetic, sensible and socially successful, and also develops their ability to interpret human beings.

    "The most important characteristic of being human is that our lives are social. What's distinctive about humans is that we make social arrangements with other people - with friends, with lovers, with children - that aren't pre-programmed by instinct. Fiction can augment and help us understand our social experience.", says Keith Oatley.

    The next time, someone asks you the utility of watching a TV serial or reading Romantic literature, you can scientifically back your answer with logic. It’s a great way to have a great mental health.

    Image source

    Gif source

  • 22 Oct
    eWellness Expert

    Psychological violence in family requires immediate action

    psychological abuse

    We have laws in our country for domestic violence, though it means physical and mental violence, but how do you know if you are psychologically threatened?

    Someone may be causing you psychological pain, but you bear with it, giving an attitude that all relationships have disproportions.

    Well, we don’t advice, that if you have a small fight it means, it is the time to give up, NO, but identifying and proper remedy of family related psychological problems, is important.

    First let us see why is it harmful?

    Psychological abuse is harmful, as

    1. It disturbs your personal well-being.
    2. It disturbs your social life
    3. Your brain stops functioning rationally; you are instigated to behave the way you don’t want to.
    4. If you are sad, you cannot concentrate on your professional life too.
    5. Your self-esteem is destroyed.
    6. If you are sad, your children and your loved ones will suffer too.

    If your partner abuses you psychologically, you tend to ignore it most of the times, but you don’t try to move out fearing you have to stay alone.

    This is the problems with most couples in a relationship for a long time.

    They are subject to various kinds of pressures from their partner or family, but they sometimes surrender, sometimes adhere to it, thinking its normal, all five fingers are not the same size.

    Women are more affected by such subjugation in general, and hence women around the world are more prone to depression and anxiety than men.

    In India, psychological violence doesn’t always come from the partner but also from the in-laws who are new to a bride.

    And as a matter of social custom, daughters are taught to bear as long as they can.

    However, being happy should be the biggest priority of a person, relationships, people and everything else comes because you want to be happy; if that is not there, what is the use of all the other things?


    How can you identify when you are being exposed to psychological abuse?

    The journal #YoungMinds speak about the symptoms of an unhealthy relationship-

    • Brain-washing
    • Provoking jealousy (openly talking about other woman)
    • Being emotionally/physically distant
    • Requiring permission for actions
    • Criticism
    • Disrespect
    • Lying (both from the victim and the abuser)

    When these factors enter your relationship, you should be decisive that it is time to move on.


    Accommodation and adjustment are not always required. Even today, in the 21st Century, India is plagued with cases of bridal suicide, and housewife murders; domestic violence has not taken exit from any society, it prevails in the household silently, either on a man or woman, and it can, because we remain silent in shame or insecurity.


    Bearing the above things leads to anxiety and depression, neither you are happy nor your loved ones around you.

    Hence before it gets too late, it is time to find a counselling service first who can diagnose the problems and find a solution.

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