We all want to be popular amongst the masses, right. We want ourselves to be liked by others, we want to be celebrated.
Follow the following angles, and you will notice a significant change in you
Lisa Haisha, therapist, discusses communication under three significant parameters i.e.-
Verbal messages- the words we say.
Paraverbal messages- the way the words are said.
Non-verbal messages- which means our body language.
Today, we will also discuss how improvisation on the above factors, and develop your personality such that you will be liked instantly.
- Firstly, it is important to mind what we are saying. In the vicinity of others, it is better to be a good listener, than a good speaker, because, everyone loves themselves, and they want to discuss about themselves, or their own ideas. So if you keep speaking out your ideas and about your stories, soon the people around you, will tend to get bored. So let others speak. Try to agree and be interested in their stories, appreciate it, encourage more stories out of them. They will just love you.
- Be humorous but don’t be stupid. Cracking jokes, or deriving humour out of a general conversation is a very attractive quality, And always remember, shift the focus from you tactfully towards others in the group. Non-stop jokes from your side alone, can again make others bored and distracted.
- Positive words in a conversation is very important, especially when you are meeting someone for the first time.
- Also in the above case, enquiring “how are you? hope you are doing good”, kind of gestures can make the other person comfortable and happy, though you may not be at all concerned about his health. J
Now we should know the way we speak.
- Feel what you say. It has been observed in researches, that paraverbal messages account for about 38% of elements that we communicate. The tone, pitch and emotions linked to our speeches for very important for communicating what we actually intend to say. So attach emotions to your speech rather than just narrating or orating something without any punctuations.
- Use a clearer pitch while you speak.
- Use pauses and halts. Also emphasize on important sections by repeating and prolonging them, which you want to be noted by others.
Third and most important factor for a developed, likable personality, is our body language, which is non verbal.
- You smile can do wonders, whether you are greeting someone stranger, or a friend, use you smile to attract others.
- Focus on your body movements. Use your hands and arms to convey your emotions during a discussion with your peer group. It actually captivates the senses of others.
- Maintain a firm eye-contact with you partner in conversation. "Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation partner's with sticky warm taffy," Lowndes advises.
Even after the conversation is over, don’t be in a rush to remove your eye-contact, do it slowly. Your glued eyes on your partner, will make him feel that you are not distracted, and that you are interested in what he is saying.
- Be prompt in your replies. Whenever someone asks something, (you may have not been listening so closely), but be quick to reply, so that he doesn’t feel that you are ignoring him.
- If you want someone particular’s attention, remember to look at him or her during a group conversation, at intervals. It is a way of conveying your interest in what he/she is saying or reacting.
- Do not fidget when you are speaking. Too much unsettled movement can convey that you are confused.
Lastly, try to make your friend comfortable. If you are meeting a stranger, easing the conversation is your responsibility, if you want to be liked by others.
Make him comfortable with your friendly gestures. Imagine, you have known him long.
Harp on some interesting private talks which relate to both of you, so that he feels friendly too.
Try little flirting, if applicable, because people love romantic attention.
Just be yourself, and adapt a few of these, and surely, you will be liked instantly.