Sana, 12-years old girl, was playing with her cousin when her mother asked me to take out her notebook, she told her mom that she left it at school. When her mother checked it was inside her bag only.
Her mother suddenly found her lie, and as usual it made her angry, frustrated and betrayed as well. But the recent research says, lying is good for a child’s intellectual development as she starts to understand the logical scenario where to manipulate and how to manipulate to protect herself.
Young children start making stories during the age of 4-5yrs and tell tall tales.
This is normal activity as they like to hear stories from adults and try to imitate them as well. Young children may blur between reality and fantasy. When young age children start learning to protect themselves from offence or deny something bad which they did, they start lying.
So here is a basic science which says that, children with high cognitive skills start lying at an early age. Child development refers all his/her biological as well as mental development. As the primary role models in children’s lives, parents play an important role in showcasing honesty.
Recent experiment says, children lie to explore themselves or sometimes to get more attention from others. Lying needs them to think in different manner, by which they can get rid of trouble from their lives. Sometimes to be gentle, they lie.
Children tend to be denial often when they create something undesirable, so it is very normal for young age children. Children who can’t even manipulate their words when needed rationally, they tend to suffer from some cognitive impairments as research says.
Scientific research over the last 50 years has carried out millions of MRI scans, EEG, and brain mapping test to find that ‘lying’ is produced by activity in the frontal lobe of the brain. It includes many behavioral changes as well, stealing, cheating, aggressive or showing temper tantrum. Fear is common motivator for lying, as while children afraid on something, they start lying.
Fear introduces few neurochemical changes in the brain and often the behavior they start showing is lying. Through constant practice, lying becomes habit for children. Habitual lying is often strengthened by holistic confrontation. Children become liar to follow their role models also, if they listen from their dearest one a lie they start imitate it.
‘Pathological liar’ refers to a liar who constantly lies either impulsively or compulsively. Children sometimes lie to get attention from other, when someone feels aloof, he wants to get attention from other as human instinct. To make an individualization from parents’ children start lie. Some children lie to avoid confrontation, punishment etc.
When you start feeling that your child has started lying, it’s time to get a look into this if it affect others. Don’t give lecture to your child for what to do or what not to do. Make it free to ask their queries to you. Plan ahead of time how to intervene with the specific problem. Discuss with your close family members how to start with the specific problem.
Every child is lying, this is so natural, so it’s not the thing for worrying but to understand that your child wants to communicate with you.
Do reduce the power struggle by saying your statement by saying ‘I don’t believe you,” rather than saying “you are lying. Don’t try to rationalize with your child to deal with the lies. Don’t make rules or don’t threat your child to say that next time you will punish him.
Do realize transforming lying behavior takes time. Don’t tag your child as liar. Don’t think whatever your child says is a lie.