• 21 Oct
    Pooja Sarkar

    Is lying healthy for children??

    child lying

    Sana, 12-years old girl, was playing with her cousin when her mother asked me to take out her notebook, she told her mom that she left it at school. When her mother checked it was inside her bag only.

    Her mother suddenly found her lie, and as usual it made her angry, frustrated and betrayed as well. But the recent research says, lying is good for a child’s intellectual development as she starts to understand the logical scenario where to manipulate and how to manipulate to protect herself.

     Young children start making stories during the age of 4-5yrs and tell tall tales.

    This is normal activity as they like to hear stories from adults and try to imitate them as well. Young children may blur between reality and fantasy. When young age children start learning to protect themselves from offence or deny something bad which they did, they start lying.

    So here is a basic science which says that, children with high cognitive skills start lying at an early age. Child development refers all his/her biological as well as mental development. As the primary role models in children’s lives, parents play an important role in showcasing honesty.

    Recent experiment says, children lie to explore themselves or sometimes to get more attention from others. Lying needs them to think in different manner, by which they can get rid of trouble from their lives. Sometimes to be gentle, they lie.

    Children tend to be denial often when they create something undesirable, so it is very normal for young age children. Children who can’t even manipulate their words when needed rationally, they tend to suffer from some cognitive impairments as research says.

    Scientific research over the last 50 years has carried out millions of MRI scans, EEG, and brain mapping test to find that ‘lying’ is produced by activity in the frontal lobe of the brain. It includes many behavioral changes as well, stealing, cheating, aggressive or showing temper tantrum. Fear is common motivator for lying, as while children afraid on something, they start lying.

    Fear introduces few neurochemical changes in the brain and often the behavior they start showing is lying. Through constant practice, lying becomes habit for children. Habitual lying is often strengthened by holistic confrontation. Children become liar to follow their role models also, if they listen from their dearest one a lie they start imitate it.

    ‘Pathological liar’ refers to a liar who constantly lies either impulsively or compulsively. Children sometimes lie to get attention from other, when someone feels aloof, he wants to get attention from other as human instinct. To make an individualization from parents’ children start lie. Some children lie to avoid confrontation, punishment etc.

    When you start feeling that your child has started lying, it’s time to get a look into this if it affect others. Don’t give lecture to your child for what to do or what not to do. Make it free to ask their queries to you. Plan ahead of time how to intervene with the specific problem. Discuss with your close family members how to start with the specific problem.

    Every child is lying, this is so natural, so it’s not the thing for worrying but to understand that your child wants to communicate with you.

    Do reduce the power struggle by saying your statement by saying ‘I don’t believe you,” rather than saying “you are lying. Don’t try to rationalize with your child to deal with the lies. Don’t make rules or don’t threat your child to say that next time you will punish him.

    Do realize transforming lying behavior takes time. Don’t tag your child as liar. Don’t think whatever your child says is a lie.

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    Responses 1

    • Shanmugi B.P
      Shanmugi B.P   Jun 23, 2017 08:31 PM

         Children who lies are really pathetic to hear.When we hear the lies we feel really incredulity.We should never encourage them for their lies.We should build the basement strong to live in our beautiful life house.when a child says that,"My grandma is going to die soon,she is 200 years old",It's not a lie its he expressed his subjective view.But,the lie is "I don't have grandma".

       Children should be grown up in a well mannered and protected enviroment for a better life.We should try to understand the underneath of his lie that is what makes him to say a lie?.If you find them lying,make discussions how they can make good?.saying lie in the developmental age can make the child to lose is privilage in his future.we should teach our child the value of truth.


  • 12 Oct
    Roshan Lal Prasad

    The primary source of depression: Negative Thoughts

    negative thoughts


    The first source that cause depression, is a manifestation of negative thoughts. It is proven that near about 70,000 thoughts an individual encounters in a day, can be positive or negative...

    All negative thinking is fear based and the negative thinking that goes day by day, starts with few situations continues to employ many other situations resulting in chronic depression.

    The continuous negative thinking trains the brain, resultant of which is, brain learns to avoid positive thinking, being in the situation, thus hampering self-esteem and individual motivation. 

    In many cases we actually blame, depression for the cause of negative thinking, but this is the other way around - It is negative thinking that causes depression.

    By correcting the negative thinking patterns, one can boost up and can get rid of depression.

    But this cannot happen in a day or two, but may take up few weeks to month depends upon the cases. This means that you can turn off depression by turning off negative thinking.


    Creating reality

    Most of us don’t realize that we are in the state of depression and are reacting to our social events negatively, because it seems that we are just reacting to the events in our lives, but in fact, our negative thinking is creating those events first and foremost.

    People generally have the stigma, that, to change the negative thinking, first the life should change, and thus you will be doing negative thinking forever.


    The role of Conscious and Subconscious Mind.

    The conscious and subconscious mind work for each other by communicating and judging the reality with each other.

    The conscious reaction of an event will be recorded by the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind does not question or argue with the validity of the thought. It literally takes the word for it. So, if you say, “I have no future and I am finished because I failed in the exam,” it just says, “Yes, you don’t have any future, and thus you develop negative feelings against such an event.

    Your subconscious mind communicates directly with the conscious mind which manifests the reality. Just like the subconscious mind, the conscious mind says yes, after getting approval of the subconscious mind.

    The only way to stop such thoughts is the conscious mind which has the opportunity to interact with the reality by finding the positive verticals of the reality/situation.

    Negative thinking is not just a bad habit, it is a terrible addiction. Most people are unconsciously addicted to negative thinking. It includes the words that we say, see and think, and it also includes negative visualizations, negative self-talk and metaphors, and mentally memorizing unhappy memories.


    Inner Guidance System - Negative Feelings, Incorporate self-help.

    Any thought that makes an individual feel bad is a negative thought. Negative thinking causes negative feelings like Unhappy, sad, irritated, and anxious, etc.…

    Negative feelings are the inner guidance systems that tell that you are thinking negatively. Your feelings are telling that your thoughts are out of control, and you’re deviating from what you desire.


    Retrain Your Mind: The only way to overcome Negative thoughts.

    The primary goal must be to master your mind, to overcome depression and create your dream life. Yes, it takes strong determination and conscious effort to change your thinking pattern, but if you want to feel better, it is the only way.


    Daily life practice to retrain your Thoughts:-

    Take responsibility: Stay determined and take responsibility of your negative thoughts/feelings.  Practice to treat thought as separate individuals. If you are able to do so, then, you will be able to control and monitor your thoughts.

    Focus on solutions: Do not focus on the problem instead focus on the solutions.

    Stay Aware of Negative Thought/Feelings: Pause yourself once you feel bad, frustrated and thus stay aware of negative feelings. Practice to have a control over your thought. Practice Mindfulness.

    No excuses: Don’t give yourself excuses, such as, “Everyone thinks negatively” - that will keep you fixed within negative thinking. Never replace positive with negative.

    Ask Positive: Ask yourself positive questions, such as, “What is the best that can happen to you?” You will be able to sort all the good that can happen and thus you will be able to replace negative with positive thoughts.

    Be kind:  Be kind, patient and loving with yourself. Judging yourself for negative thinking will just lead to aid one more negative thinking.

    Others: Instead of feeling sorry for others, imagine those who have challenges, learns and adapt by overcoming those challenges - see them happy, successful and strong.

    Roshan Lal Prasad. MPhil in Rehab Psychology

    Image source

  • 06 Oct
    Oyindrila Basu

    Movement and Aggression are correlated.

    aggressive tiger walking

    Surprised? Stranger facts are being determined each day, regarding human behaviour and personality.

    The way a person walks determines whether he/she is aggressive or not.

    University of Portsmouth in United Kingdom carried out an extensive study on 29 participants, analysing their movement and their behaviour respectively by mapping them through motion capture technology.

    Males and females were made to walk on a treadmill and their movements along with basic personality traits were recorded.

    Through the study it was observed that biological factors affected the gait of a person; men had exaggerated movements of their upper and lower body parts as compared to women, and they were more towards aggressive nature, that the rest of the group.

    While there was a moderate correlation between walking speed and aggression for males, no correlation was observed in females, or the sample as a whole.

    Participants who reported high physical aggression had greater relative movement between the upper and lower body. Heightened shoulder movement or pelvis movement alone were not predictive of aggression, but the relative motion of the upper and lower body were aggression indicators.

    The research was published in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior where 5 personality traits that include extraversion, agreeableness, openness, conscientiousness and neuroticism and gait, have been referred to, for analysing behaviour of a person.

    Hence we can determine the mood and behaviour of a person, whether he/she is aggressive from the way he/she moves or walks.

    The gait of a person is evidence of his/her personality.

    Image source

  • 06 Oct
    eWellness Expert

    Work of an Effective Career counsellor.

    career counseling

    When I was in school, and I had to choose my high school subjects in grade 11, I was confused, my interests were humanities, but not all of them; only English was I fond of, and I did not know what to do, where all my friends were going for joint entrance examinations, hence joining the science group. Then it was my physics teacher who helped me in the first step, in subject selection for the 11th and 12th standards at least.

    However, we all complete extensive courses in schools and colleges to achieve something grand in our future, hence it becomes very important to choose our stream wisely, so that we can have the best career, and our dream job.

    We are often confused in what we should pursue; should we follow what we like to do, or something that has better prospects! Can we make our art, an objective and career goal? Which will be useful as well as satisfying, are the basic questions, but most of us don’t have the answers from an expert, different people confuse us with their opinions; even today, very few people actually realize the utility of an effective career counsellor.

    • A career counsellor helps reflect on yourself; a proper professional will know you in detail, starting from the kind of schooling you have done to the kind of interpersonal relationships you share with your family and friends; in the process of answering the questions you will realize many things about yourself, you probably didn’t know, like what you are afraid of, what you most like to do, what can be your second choice in your daily life and things like that.


    • A career counsellor understands your interests, at the same time, identifies your talents and potentials, and then guides you towards selection of your career.


    • The counsellor gives you clearly, the direct benefits and banes of a particular kind of job parallely, so that it becomes easier for you to decide while choosing a career option.


    • The person is interactive with you, and it is his/her duty to understand if you are into any kind of mental health issues and whether that can affect your professional life, before suggesting a career.

    The role of a counsellor is to

    1. Boost confidence within an individual that he/she is capable of a good career.
    2. Make you identify your true talent and pursue something in that field.
    3. Increase your mental strength by being a guide.
    4. Make you understand what will be best for your future.
    5. Guide you through your job choices keeping in mind your satisfaction level and return expectation as a candidate.
    6. To make you understand the importance of career insurance.
    7. To guide you through in attaining your ambitions.

    A career counsellor, not only helps a candidate, but also sessions with his/her family to make them understand the basic equations of growth and achievement along with satisfaction for their child, so that the candidate can utilise his/her full potentials through the job that they choose to do, and hence eventually, it becomes their dream job in terms of prospective income and future security too.

    A career counsellor also ensures, that a person is able to maintain the best work life balance with whatever he/she is doing, considering his/her social scenario and responsibilities, so that he/she can have a peaceful and happy life.

    Image source

  • 01 Oct
    Oyindrila Basu

    Sports Counselling

    sports counseling

    Sports is among the best career options, available these days; if you are not interested in academics, you can always go for your interests, and one of it can be sports.

    A person involved in any form of game need to be skilled, talented, well-informed, sharp and calculative, but at the same time, development of a personal attitude is very much important for a sports person.

    Counselling is required and hence provided to students, professionals, employees; so also, it is very much required in the sports field. A sports-person should be trained, at the same time counselled, to make him reach his ultimate goal of success. Counselling develops in a person, a positive attitude towards the game, a sportsmanship spirit, gives a psychological strength and tightens his abilities.

    Playing the game seriously and positively is the most imperative thing for any person involved in sports; however, all sportsmen are motivated by their fans, peer-groups, national interests and commemorations, channelizing his energies towards the game is required and a counsellor does the job.

    What is the job of a sports Psychologist?

    In general, a sports counsellor is responsible for preparing a player for his toughest games, controlling emotional outbursts, self-motivation, imbibing in him team spirit, the desire towards win and infuse patriotism for the country he/she is playing. In particular, a psychologist also does the following:

    • A sports psychologist prepares a player for the worst- In a game anything can happen to you; you may get injured, hit, cheated or thrashed; your bruises should not matter to you, but the game and your team’s prestige. A player needs to be fearless, and overcome his shakiness towards adverse situations.
    • Helps manage emotions and maintain composure- Playing is not that easy on the field when everyone is watching you. Gaining a small success in the course of a game is delighting, but controlling your temperament is important at all situations, during a game, a player should not be overjoyed or remorse; playing on till the end is most important. Keeping calm during cheats and wrong decisions is also very important and a counsellor helps a player realise these things.


    • A counsellor ensures proactive growth of mind and body for players. Physical and mental wellness contributes to overall fitness regime.


    When is counselling required?

    Counselling in sports, can be required at different stages-

    • When a player is demotivated by his/her successive failures in past games- If there is a game in near future, a player requires confidence to practice and play on the field; if he is hung down by past failures and mistakes.
    • If a player credits himself alone for the win of a game-he needs to be reminded of sportsmanship and team spirit.
    • If a player feels he is insignificant in the team- a self-motivation needs to be developed in him/her.
    • If a player is playing for the first time- if a player is going for his first match; at state level or national level, or any platform, he requires some special counselling to receive encouragement, confidence, overcome nervousness and perfect his strategies.
    • Counselling is required if a player is too much bothered about his self-image- it is important to take care, that a player doesn’t commit anything unethical or against sportsman spirit on the field.
    • It is also needed when a player is playing under pressure.

    Apart from the specific above roles, a sports counsellor definitely helps a player choose the right career, based on his/her skills and develop a love and dedication towards his/her game. In fact, the counsellor helps a player in preparing him/her for win and loss equally.

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