• 22 Oct
    Oyindrila Basu

    How to accept emotional and behavioral issues like common cold and seek help.

    world mental health day

    Last day, I was encountered with an old friend, and she is currently working in a Multinational Company. Her day begins at 5am in the morning and ends at 1.30 at night, and that too she finishes a professional call at that time.

    She admitted that it is painful for her to bear the stress; she is single, her family is coaxing her to get married, but she doesn’t want to enter an arranged marriage just like that, she is in unresolved dilemma and feels she is going into depression with coming pressures from all side-

    I feel I am going into depression; I lack energy, I cannot find motivation in anything; I am 28 and still do not have a boy-friend, I feel quite bad on special days, when couples celebrate love, I find my friends engaged on those days, no one have time for me, I am upset, low in mood, I think I want to get married but do not have a relationship; I am struggling with my work life too. The pressure is immense, and sometimes I am losing my cool, feeling powerless and making mistakes; I am dampening my reputation myself and I really hate myself for it.

    I badly need professional help, but unfortunately, I am not being able to tell it to anyone; I feel I need a friend and counsellor, but my family should not know, because if they know my neighbours and relatives will know too and there will be lot of ‘mad-shaming’ about me.

    I go through some of the articles posted on facebook and other places, I think I will contact them, but I am scared what they will think of me; What will I do I don’t know, I feel frustrated”.

    I tried consoling her and comforting her as much as I could, but it is true, in order to work properly and lead a healthy life, she needs someone to treat her immediately with patience and understanding; she is suffering from mental health issues but cannot reveal it, due to social stigma and taboo associated with mental health issues.

    A lot of discussions are going on across the web, where people are shouting out that mental health issues require treatment and it doesn’t mean you are mad, however, the wrong notions and meaningless fear associated with the idea have not left people.

    Psychological disorders are still treated with unscientific names like possession and such other things.

    Anybody visiting a psychiatrist is looked at with a special gaze, and people will whisper, that he/she is mad, behind the back.

    Mental health problems doesn’t get the normal acceptance in society as cough and cold which requires treatment and gets ok.

    But this is getting more and more hazardous for the society itself. People are overly affected with stress these days; work pressure, balance in lifestyle, relationships, break-ups, gains and losses, demand and expectations are mounting up quantitatively and it is getting difficult for us to maintain composure and a balance mental health; as a result, anxiety and depression are finding their way to us.

    What is the remedy, but psychotherapy? But we fear to be judged and hence we keep our problems to ourselves; we don’t even share them with friends, imagining they will set a taboo against us.

    We like, post and comment anonymously on the internet over various such issues related to mental health, as because we feel, we can express our ideas independently, but only without a name, we need a vent and we use the social media and the web pages as modes of expression.

    That is not the solution, we are unwell and we will be unwell unless we opt for a treatment. Psychotherapy and counselling services are widely available, even the new Bill on Mental Health by the Government of India, becomes revolutionary in providing insurance for mental health treatments, but alas! The society is comprised of people who are common and commonly believe that mental health issue means a person is mad; a person requires counselling means he or she is abnormal.

    Healthy people require counselling too in order to understand themselves better and move towards success with better motivation.

    Hence counselling services are definitely not meant for ‘mad’ people.

    There are a couple of days in the calendar which are dedicated to mental health celebration; well we have a day for every other thing on earth, now, so where is the special place for mental health?

    We are yet to develop a deeper learning about mental health and its problems, we are yet to modify our attitude towards those who are mentally unwell at the moment; ‘mad’ is a wrong term which misinterprets genuine health hazards, literacy should bring our knowledge and emancipation in society, and this can happen only when more people come out with their problems and discuss them in public, when more people opt for psychotherapy to have better lives and now with true identity and name.

    We need a society where mental health will be accepted as a normal topic regardless of time and place, field days and social media campaigns, which fade out after a few bubbles.

    Celebrities are taking a positive step towards rectifying the situation; Deepika Padukone, Illeana D’Cruz and Karan Johar have been very sporting in coming up with their stories of depression and anxiety, and we hope more of common people will come up with their health stories too.

  • 21 Oct
    Pooja Sarkar

    Is lying healthy for children??

    child lying

    Sana, 12-years old girl, was playing with her cousin when her mother asked me to take out her notebook, she told her mom that she left it at school. When her mother checked it was inside her bag only.

    Her mother suddenly found her lie, and as usual it made her angry, frustrated and betrayed as well. But the recent research says, lying is good for a child’s intellectual development as she starts to understand the logical scenario where to manipulate and how to manipulate to protect herself.

     Young children start making stories during the age of 4-5yrs and tell tall tales.

    This is normal activity as they like to hear stories from adults and try to imitate them as well. Young children may blur between reality and fantasy. When young age children start learning to protect themselves from offence or deny something bad which they did, they start lying.

    So here is a basic science which says that, children with high cognitive skills start lying at an early age. Child development refers all his/her biological as well as mental development. As the primary role models in children’s lives, parents play an important role in showcasing honesty.

    Recent experiment says, children lie to explore themselves or sometimes to get more attention from others. Lying needs them to think in different manner, by which they can get rid of trouble from their lives. Sometimes to be gentle, they lie.

    Children tend to be denial often when they create something undesirable, so it is very normal for young age children. Children who can’t even manipulate their words when needed rationally, they tend to suffer from some cognitive impairments as research says.

    Scientific research over the last 50 years has carried out millions of MRI scans, EEG, and brain mapping test to find that ‘lying’ is produced by activity in the frontal lobe of the brain. It includes many behavioral changes as well, stealing, cheating, aggressive or showing temper tantrum. Fear is common motivator for lying, as while children afraid on something, they start lying.

    Fear introduces few neurochemical changes in the brain and often the behavior they start showing is lying. Through constant practice, lying becomes habit for children. Habitual lying is often strengthened by holistic confrontation. Children become liar to follow their role models also, if they listen from their dearest one a lie they start imitate it.

    ‘Pathological liar’ refers to a liar who constantly lies either impulsively or compulsively. Children sometimes lie to get attention from other, when someone feels aloof, he wants to get attention from other as human instinct. To make an individualization from parents’ children start lie. Some children lie to avoid confrontation, punishment etc.

    When you start feeling that your child has started lying, it’s time to get a look into this if it affect others. Don’t give lecture to your child for what to do or what not to do. Make it free to ask their queries to you. Plan ahead of time how to intervene with the specific problem. Discuss with your close family members how to start with the specific problem.

    Every child is lying, this is so natural, so it’s not the thing for worrying but to understand that your child wants to communicate with you.

    Do reduce the power struggle by saying your statement by saying ‘I don’t believe you,” rather than saying “you are lying. Don’t try to rationalize with your child to deal with the lies. Don’t make rules or don’t threat your child to say that next time you will punish him.

    Do realize transforming lying behavior takes time. Don’t tag your child as liar. Don’t think whatever your child says is a lie.

    Image source

    Responses 1

    • Shanmugi B.P
      Shanmugi B.P   Jun 23, 2017 08:31 PM

         Children who lies are really pathetic to hear.When we hear the lies we feel really incredulity.We should never encourage them for their lies.We should build the basement strong to live in our beautiful life house.when a child says that,"My grandma is going to die soon,she is 200 years old",It's not a lie its he expressed his subjective view.But,the lie is "I don't have grandma".

       Children should be grown up in a well mannered and protected enviroment for a better life.We should try to understand the underneath of his lie that is what makes him to say a lie?.If you find them lying,make discussions how they can make good?.saying lie in the developmental age can make the child to lose is privilage in his future.we should teach our child the value of truth.


  • 12 Oct
    Roshan Lal Prasad

    The primary source of depression: Negative Thoughts

    negative thoughts


    The first source that cause depression, is a manifestation of negative thoughts. It is proven that near about 70,000 thoughts an individual encounters in a day, can be positive or negative...

    All negative thinking is fear based and the negative thinking that goes day by day, starts with few situations continues to employ many other situations resulting in chronic depression.

    The continuous negative thinking trains the brain, resultant of which is, brain learns to avoid positive thinking, being in the situation, thus hampering self-esteem and individual motivation. 

    In many cases we actually blame, depression for the cause of negative thinking, but this is the other way around - It is negative thinking that causes depression.

    By correcting the negative thinking patterns, one can boost up and can get rid of depression.

    But this cannot happen in a day or two, but may take up few weeks to month depends upon the cases. This means that you can turn off depression by turning off negative thinking.


    Creating reality

    Most of us don’t realize that we are in the state of depression and are reacting to our social events negatively, because it seems that we are just reacting to the events in our lives, but in fact, our negative thinking is creating those events first and foremost.

    People generally have the stigma, that, to change the negative thinking, first the life should change, and thus you will be doing negative thinking forever.


    The role of Conscious and Subconscious Mind.

    The conscious and subconscious mind work for each other by communicating and judging the reality with each other.

    The conscious reaction of an event will be recorded by the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind does not question or argue with the validity of the thought. It literally takes the word for it. So, if you say, “I have no future and I am finished because I failed in the exam,” it just says, “Yes, you don’t have any future, and thus you develop negative feelings against such an event.

    Your subconscious mind communicates directly with the conscious mind which manifests the reality. Just like the subconscious mind, the conscious mind says yes, after getting approval of the subconscious mind.

    The only way to stop such thoughts is the conscious mind which has the opportunity to interact with the reality by finding the positive verticals of the reality/situation.

    Negative thinking is not just a bad habit, it is a terrible addiction. Most people are unconsciously addicted to negative thinking. It includes the words that we say, see and think, and it also includes negative visualizations, negative self-talk and metaphors, and mentally memorizing unhappy memories.


    Inner Guidance System - Negative Feelings, Incorporate self-help.

    Any thought that makes an individual feel bad is a negative thought. Negative thinking causes negative feelings like Unhappy, sad, irritated, and anxious, etc.…

    Negative feelings are the inner guidance systems that tell that you are thinking negatively. Your feelings are telling that your thoughts are out of control, and you’re deviating from what you desire.


    Retrain Your Mind: The only way to overcome Negative thoughts.

    The primary goal must be to master your mind, to overcome depression and create your dream life. Yes, it takes strong determination and conscious effort to change your thinking pattern, but if you want to feel better, it is the only way.


    Daily life practice to retrain your Thoughts:-

    Take responsibility: Stay determined and take responsibility of your negative thoughts/feelings.  Practice to treat thought as separate individuals. If you are able to do so, then, you will be able to control and monitor your thoughts.

    Focus on solutions: Do not focus on the problem instead focus on the solutions.

    Stay Aware of Negative Thought/Feelings: Pause yourself once you feel bad, frustrated and thus stay aware of negative feelings. Practice to have a control over your thought. Practice Mindfulness.

    No excuses: Don’t give yourself excuses, such as, “Everyone thinks negatively” - that will keep you fixed within negative thinking. Never replace positive with negative.

    Ask Positive: Ask yourself positive questions, such as, “What is the best that can happen to you?” You will be able to sort all the good that can happen and thus you will be able to replace negative with positive thoughts.

    Be kind:  Be kind, patient and loving with yourself. Judging yourself for negative thinking will just lead to aid one more negative thinking.

    Others: Instead of feeling sorry for others, imagine those who have challenges, learns and adapt by overcoming those challenges - see them happy, successful and strong.

    Roshan Lal Prasad. MPhil in Rehab Psychology

    Image source

  • 06 Oct
    Oyindrila Basu

    Movement and Aggression are correlated.

    aggressive tiger walking

    Surprised? Stranger facts are being determined each day, regarding human behaviour and personality.

    The way a person walks determines whether he/she is aggressive or not.

    University of Portsmouth in United Kingdom carried out an extensive study on 29 participants, analysing their movement and their behaviour respectively by mapping them through motion capture technology.

    Males and females were made to walk on a treadmill and their movements along with basic personality traits were recorded.

    Through the study it was observed that biological factors affected the gait of a person; men had exaggerated movements of their upper and lower body parts as compared to women, and they were more towards aggressive nature, that the rest of the group.

    While there was a moderate correlation between walking speed and aggression for males, no correlation was observed in females, or the sample as a whole.

    Participants who reported high physical aggression had greater relative movement between the upper and lower body. Heightened shoulder movement or pelvis movement alone were not predictive of aggression, but the relative motion of the upper and lower body were aggression indicators.

    The research was published in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior where 5 personality traits that include extraversion, agreeableness, openness, conscientiousness and neuroticism and gait, have been referred to, for analysing behaviour of a person.

    Hence we can determine the mood and behaviour of a person, whether he/she is aggressive from the way he/she moves or walks.

    The gait of a person is evidence of his/her personality.

    Image source

  • 06 Oct
    eWellness Expert

    Work of an Effective Career counsellor.

    career counseling

    When I was in school, and I had to choose my high school subjects in grade 11, I was confused, my interests were humanities, but not all of them; only English was I fond of, and I did not know what to do, where all my friends were going for joint entrance examinations, hence joining the science group. Then it was my physics teacher who helped me in the first step, in subject selection for the 11th and 12th standards at least.

    However, we all complete extensive courses in schools and colleges to achieve something grand in our future, hence it becomes very important to choose our stream wisely, so that we can have the best career, and our dream job.

    We are often confused in what we should pursue; should we follow what we like to do, or something that has better prospects! Can we make our art, an objective and career goal? Which will be useful as well as satisfying, are the basic questions, but most of us don’t have the answers from an expert, different people confuse us with their opinions; even today, very few people actually realize the utility of an effective career counsellor.

    • A career counsellor helps reflect on yourself; a proper professional will know you in detail, starting from the kind of schooling you have done to the kind of interpersonal relationships you share with your family and friends; in the process of answering the questions you will realize many things about yourself, you probably didn’t know, like what you are afraid of, what you most like to do, what can be your second choice in your daily life and things like that.


    • A career counsellor understands your interests, at the same time, identifies your talents and potentials, and then guides you towards selection of your career.


    • The counsellor gives you clearly, the direct benefits and banes of a particular kind of job parallely, so that it becomes easier for you to decide while choosing a career option.


    • The person is interactive with you, and it is his/her duty to understand if you are into any kind of mental health issues and whether that can affect your professional life, before suggesting a career.

    The role of a counsellor is to

    1. Boost confidence within an individual that he/she is capable of a good career.
    2. Make you identify your true talent and pursue something in that field.
    3. Increase your mental strength by being a guide.
    4. Make you understand what will be best for your future.
    5. Guide you through your job choices keeping in mind your satisfaction level and return expectation as a candidate.
    6. To make you understand the importance of career insurance.
    7. To guide you through in attaining your ambitions.

    A career counsellor, not only helps a candidate, but also sessions with his/her family to make them understand the basic equations of growth and achievement along with satisfaction for their child, so that the candidate can utilise his/her full potentials through the job that they choose to do, and hence eventually, it becomes their dream job in terms of prospective income and future security too.

    A career counsellor also ensures, that a person is able to maintain the best work life balance with whatever he/she is doing, considering his/her social scenario and responsibilities, so that he/she can have a peaceful and happy life.

    Image source

Book an appointment