• 30 Nov
    Oyindrila Basu

    Alpha men and Playboys are not smart; they tend to have Poor Mental Health.

    alpha men

    The concept of ‘alpha men’ creeped up during the early 2000s, though the tradition of being a sexist, chauvinist and misogynist, forever existed in patriarchal society.

    The term ‘alpha men’ precisely defined those, who believe they can control the mind of women and easily lure them, play with their hearts and destroy them entirely.

    They claim themselves to be playboys; extra smart and devoid of human emotions; they think they are manipulative enough to fool anybody.

    However, such men who feel they have more power over women, are prone to different kinds of mental illnesses.

    Men having sexist attitude are actually suffering from some insufficiency or lack of self-worth; sometimes, it has been seen, that they have a tormenting past or a suffered childhood, which turns them emotionally cold, and they want to stay away from natural humanistic behaviour.

    In the year 2008, an inside questionnaire test was performed on a group of 50 individuals, in the psychology department of Bethune College, Kolkata.

    It was a Personality Assessment Test featuring 50 questions per set. The results clearly determined, that men or women who, in general, believe in manipulating others, or think are over smart and can easily play with emotions, were detected as slightly neurotic or having medium neurosis.

    Those who are not so much traditionally patriarchal in attitude, are much more normal and mentally stable according to the test scores.

    YJoel Wong from Indiana University, conducted a mental analysis of 78 research samples, out of which people conforming to general masculine trends or norms were found to have negative mental health, than those who differed from the clichéd male theories.

    "The masculine norms of playboy and power over women are the norms most closely associated with sexist attitudes," said Wong.

    Hence, those who think they are smart because they jump in and out of relationships with women, beware! You never know, you are actually suffering from mental health dysfunction;

    you are actually lacking self-worth and confidence in your abilities and hence you are trying to prove yourself through nasty tricks over women, which never deserve any respect.

    A proper counselling at the right time, can cure many and bring them back to normal health, same applies for alpha men, they need to identify their weaknesses and deal with them at the right time to secure a better future.

    Responses 1

    • Ayushi Jolly
      Ayushi Jolly   Jul 11, 2017 12:18 PM

      Very well written and precisely picked up on the class of 'kewl' boys who think that being a Starboy gives them superiority. Little do they realize that it drops them off further in the scales of humanity.

  • 26 Nov
    Oyindrila Basu

    How your obsession or depression can help you in your focused thinking.

    a beautiful mind

    We have a notion, that mentally unstable people are not able to perform tasks properly, in fact, their cognitive abilities are weakened.

    However, on the contrary, a depressed person is more focused, or concentrate better on any work as deduced by Jonah Lehrar who writes in the New York Times about her research in this field.

    A depressed person can make a better mathematician, and the analogy between the two states of mind are almost the same.

    A depressed person is focused on believing his/her melancholy as the truth, and the mathematician need to be focused on formulas and techniques to solve problems.

    Let us see how this analogy is drawn.

    A person who is a good mathematician need to have an obsession for numbers, formulas and derivations; and a person in depression holds the same kind of obsession for a selective person or situation; the broken hearted person is concentrated on each and every detail of his/her pain and humiliation, such that he/she cannot get out of that depressed phase.

    Depression is a state where a person is very focused on the pain and hence cannot recover from it easily; the same kind of dedication or obsession is required for mathematical theories to solve problems. In certain cases, you also need to be imaginative about your steps while problem solving, like a depressed person imagines his/her grief to a different level, unique to the world.

    Professor John Nash was a genius, a gem of a mathematician and we all know he was suffering from paranoid schizophrenia and acute depression. #ABeautifulMind gives clear example of how an obsessed person, who visualizes his passion, becomes excellent in the field.

    This great mathematician was disillusioned, yet he solved algebraic equations and in-equations like a magician. He was depressed because of his lack of self-knowledge and struggle with illness, yet he was exceptional in his academic skill.

    He solved arithmetic on the window panes, he could visualize his numbers with the power of his mind, the focused quality of his mind, made him imagine a friend, and the same gave him the ability to invent the ‘game theory’.

    Cognitive functioning follows the same mechanism for a person who is focused and for a person who is depressed.

    For e.g. if a person is depressed, because he has had a break-up; in this situation, depression draws from the fact, that he is concentrating all his energy on one person who has left him, and he desires to get her back; he doesn’t give up; he focuses on every detail of his painful feelings, how he feels rejected, humiliated, insulted, ditched, betrayed and the like; every minute expression of the heart come alive for a depressed person.

    The brain of such a person is not weak at all, in fact, it is very productive which gives him this amount of dedication and concentration on a particular individual, the same quality of brain is required for a mathematician to exceed normal limits, and hence we can conclude that depressed persons, if they try to work out on problem solving, can do great.

    They just need to be provided with the path, so that they shift their focus from their pain and grief towards a calculative outcome oriented task.

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  • 24 Nov
    eWellness Expert

    Sleep, Mental Illness, and Addiction: Preventing Tragedy

    painting on love and mental illness

    Suicidal thoughts can happen to anyone for a number of reasons. However, people with mental illnesses, including addiction, are at a greater risk for suicidal thoughts and actions. Just one or the other can trigger suicidal thoughts, but for many people, the two conditions come hand in hand. Problems sleeping can play a significant role in all of it.

    Addiction and mental illness tend to be co-occurring problems with each potentially triggering the other.

    If you or a loved one has a mental illness or addiction, here are some of the things you should know in order to prevent suicidal thoughts and actions.

    Being unable to sleep can be a sign of substance abuse and/or mental health issues (especially depression), though sleeping too much can be too.

    It is not uncommon for those with an addiction to experience the symptoms of depression as well as other mental illnesses. Depression is one of the most common causes of suicidal thoughts, meaning that addiction is dangerous in more than just the most obvious ways.

    The best way to prevent addiction-fueled depression is to get treatment as soon as possible.

    Sleep disorders often occur alongside depression as well as other mental illnesses such as PTSD. Poor sleeping habits can exacerbate other mental illnesses.

    Symptoms can include irregular sleep patterns, an inability to sleep, or sleeping for too long. Treatments often involve sleep medications and supplements along with the recommendation of a nightly routine. While the latter is a good idea, medications can lead to addiction, even if unintentionally abused.

    It’s a good idea to establish a sleep routine. It could look something like this: eat dinner, go for a walk, watch a little television, catch up on some reading, and go to bed. Just remember, it’s only a routine if you do it each night. Engage in activities at the end of the day that are relaxing so you can help ease yourself into a restful state. Do not turn to drugs or alcohol for comfort because this can lead to addiction, and even create more sleeping problems, even if they seem to help on the surface.

    While depression is often the cause of suicidal thoughts, other mental disorders can very easily become the root of these thoughts. Anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder, and more can either trigger symptoms of depression or cause suicidal thoughts.

    The most important part of facing this threat is seeking help. Too many people go without treatment and watch their symptoms get worse as time passes. This is when suicidal thoughts have the opportunity to strike.

    Self-medication describes when a person abuses a substance in order to control the symptoms of an illness. It’s very common among people with mental illnesses who are not receiving proper treatment. Not only will the untreated mental illness contribute to suicidal thoughts, but the developing addiction that occurs as a result of self-medication will also have a detrimental impact.

    Substance abuse can seem to help ease the symptoms of mental illness, but in reality, long-term abuse will make things worse. This scenario can pose a deadly risk and should not be taken lightly.

    If you recognize that a loved one is struggling with addiction, mental illness, or a combination of the two, do not take your observations lightly. The longer your loved one struggles, the more at-risk for suicide they become. Treatment is not a luxury; it is an absolute necessity.

    Getting help for your loved one can be difficult if they are resistant but do not give up. Your love and support can make all the difference in whether or not they get the treatment they need.

    Knowing that you or someone you care about is at risk for suicide can be a frightening revelation. However, it is important to remember that knowing the risk factors is half the battle. If you are able to recognize the signs, you have an opportunity to get the help you need. Once proper treatment is secured and recovery is under way, a happy and healthy life is on the horizon.

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  • 17 Nov
    Oyindrila Basu

    Facebook posts go beyond ‘Connectedness’, to define your personality traits.

    girl facebook

    Many of us, these days, are obsessed with the idea of notifying their daily activities to Facebook and Instagram; some of us keep giving momentary updates like “Shopping in Arcade Mall”, “Watching ADHM with my love” and many such things to make sure, that world knows that they are enjoying.

    Even we praise their commitment to social media calling them smart and connected people. A recent research established, that people who are addicted to giving posts on Facebook and twitter are actually suffering from low self-esteem.

    Exhibiting your achievements, and public portrayal of your love life or romantic partner is a symptom of insecurity. You take pictures with your boy-friend or girl-friend and keep posting on the web, because of either of the following reasons-


    • You want the world to know about your relationship because you are afraid, your partner may not be serious with you, so you want to make the thing public as fast as possible.


    • You are not sure of your partner, so you want the world to see him or her, and give their opinion on your choice.


    • You want everyone to know that you are happy, and be jealous, which shows you are not sure about your potentials.


    • Posting updates and pictures about your partner signifies your insecurity about your relationship, you do these to make sure your relationship exists.

    Similarly, we have also seen people posting pictures about their physique; they keep posting updates on their regular exercise schedule; how much calories they have lost; how they are dieting and things like that every moment, with images, which signifies that they are type of narcissists who are obsessed with themselves, hence they keep standing in front the mirror observing every extra inch gained or lost, and to make sure it happened, they post it on Facebook to take others’ opinion.

    Psychology lecturer Dr Tara Marshall, from Brunel University London collected data from 555 Facebook users to conduct research on 5 personality traits extroversion, neuroticism, openness, agreeableness and conscientiousness and included self-esteem and narcissism too.

    Findings concluded that people who give regular updates to Facebook and brag about their love life or partner are suffering from low self-esteem and insecurity while those bragging about their fitness goals are essentially narcissists.

    Even those who are ready with make-up to take selfies reflect self-obsession. While people who don’t post Facebook status updates, are stronger in mind, and possess a normal outlook towards life and social activities.

    They tend to be free from social-networking addiction or being glued to tech gadgets, hence being physically and mentally healthier than others.


  • 17 Nov
    Oyindrila Basu

    What can a depressed person, feel within?

    depressed girl 

    A person in severe depression has a world of his own, which is dark, bizarre, negative and harmful.

    There is no light; no hope; no motivation at all in that place. The disastrous place is the truth for a depressed person, and there is no way to convince such a person that the earth is beautiful or life can be good.

    Last Sunday, I was at a birthday party; my very good friend and colleague had invited us and some of her batch mates from college for a get together, to celebrate her special day.

    We cut the cake, sang for her, and were having a gala time over some drinks, when I found a girl sitting quietly at one corner staring out of the window.

    After some enquiry, I came to know, she is the birthday girl’s childhood mate, and she was there with her family. Her name was Sarita, and to my surprise, there was not a spec of smile on her face; I wondered why she was so sad, on her friend’s birthday, and what was she staring at! I went towards her to understand what was going on in her mind.

    I tried talking to her; asked a couple of questions and answer was “……….”, that’s right, silence, she seemed not to listen. I touched her hand, and she startled with surprise; she felt irritated and said, “leave me alone, go away, else you will be doomed like me” ………….. “why do you think you are doomed”, I asked.

    Life has been tremendously unfair with me; you know when I was born, God had just ripped off my forehead with misfortunes; I am a fool, an idiot, a stupid; in fact, I am ominous, please go away from me, I cannot do good to myself, neither can I be of any good to others. I have no right to live, there is nothing to live for; you see the darkness outside, that is the only thing waiting for me”.

    I wasn’t shocked or anything hearing all this; I inferred that she was in depression, and I understood what she was going through.

    I have been in depression myself in my college days, and it just feels horrific, but I had turned on my will power to the maximum then, whatsoever the internal feelings were the same.

    A person going through depressive phase has minimum self-esteem or confidence; it seems whatever wrong is happening around, is because of him/her.

    Every depression has its own cause, especially if it is a failure in something, recovery is too tough. Family is generally confused with your behaviour, and they make your situation worse by interrogating you.

    Sometimes, they are even irritated with you, hence they try to make your problem appear trivial, commenting sarcastically or cracking a joke on it, and you feel like you are just alone in this big bad world.

    This girl was going through the same; she felt she was causing more pain to her family, by being around them; she was just an acquaintance, but I could relate to her somehow.

    What can a person do, if he/she is in depression and feels this way? For people undergoing mild depression, there are several remedies which can be resorted to immediately-

    1. Turn to a healthy lifestyle i.e. include more fresh nutrients to your diet like fruits, green vegetables, good carb like lentils, oats etc.


    2. Free yourself from caffeine and alcoholic and carbonated beverages, which can be worse to your depression.


    3. Exercise – This sounds weird, but sweating releases packed up negative energy from the brain; you tend to feel more motivated. Any form of exercise, like dance, yoga, running, aerobics can help. Even crying is a way to release lumps of emotions, and the body loses significant number of calories, as good as 1.3 calories/minute.


    4. Music in any form should be ritually practised, if you are depressed.


    5. Natural remedies like lavender oil, flax seed, sunflower seeds can help to some extent.


    However, major depressive phases are difficult to control; you can practise self-counselling or rationalizing, but that doesn’t come so easily for everyone, hence psychotherapy is required; doctors can counsel you or imply psychotropic medications as required, but there is no point living with your depression; life is precious and it should be made worth living.

    Share your thoughts with those who understand you and are concerned about you. Don’t consider friends and family as foes.


    What the family and friends of a depressed should do?

    Do not argue with the person who is in depression.

    If you try to convince them that it is sunny outside, they will naturally not agree, and get even more rigid with their idea.

    If you try to remind them of their happy phase, before depression, that is quite unreal to them now; for e.g. if a depressed person doesn’t feel any love for his/her spouse or children, you cannot make them feel the love by reminding them of their previous life before depression; in fact, that will trouble them further, the dilemma can actually affect them badly; they will be stubborn upon their dark reality, so do not try to convince them on the triviality of their problem; everybody believes that their problem is major and important, so try to be patient with your loved one, who is depressed; console them that you understand, be a good listener, so that they can share their thoughts with you. Do small actions which can create a spark of happiness for them; be by them, but do not question much, give them time.

    However, it is the duty of near ones to assess the thoughts of a depressed person too; they can be dangerous sometimes, hence if you envision something like that, motivate him/her to take professional help.

    Image source

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