• 26 Jun
    Priya Ratti

    First-borns Smarter Than Their Siblings? : What Your Birth-Order Says About You

    birth order


    For years, scientists and psychologists have grappled with the question whether first-borns are smarter than their siblings at all.

    The order of birth in children has an impact on their personality. Alfred Adler was one of the first proponents of this view. Alfred Adler (1870 – 1937) was an Austrian medical doctor and a neo-analytic psychologist who founded the school of individual psychology and gave many key concepts in psychology.

    In the year 1954, he developed a theory concerning birth order of children and its influence on personality. He argued that the order of birth governed the major characteristics of an individual’s personality. He believed it had an impact on the way an individual dealt with situations later on in life. So, the order of birth, according to Adler did not only have an impact on the way a child is treated, but also impacted his behavior as an adult. His theory assigns a different set of characteristics to each order. 

    Children who are first borns are perfectionists, more dependable, ambitious and seek affiliation. They experience a ‘dethronement’ when the second child arrives: due to this they feel inferior and overcompensate by becoming over achievers. Research has shown them to have more control of their emotional expressions. They tend to follow rules better, and are more achievement-oriented.They are robbed off of their parents’ attention when the second child arrives.  

    The middle children have it a little easier in comparison. They feel more superior over their elder siblings’ dethronement while at the same time being dominating over their younger siblings. However, they are often considered level-headed and are the peacemakers of the family. The second borns tend to grow up to be more competitive than the first borns. As they have to share their parents’ love/attention, they’re put into a role of competing for the same with the first born. They are known to consistently attempt betterment, and are usually known to master the limitations of the first born. The two children, hence grow up with opposite traits and personalities.

    The youngest children of the family are the most pampered. They are protected, but may feel inferior because they are not given as much freedom and responsibility as their elder siblings may get. They are very dependent on their parents and this may cause them to have feelings of selfishness. They can be manipulative and attention seeking. In contrast, they’re also known to develop very confident personalities, are fun loving and outgoing.

    Only children are at an advantage because they are independent and high achievers. They’re mature, diligent and conscientious. They do not have to share their parents’ attention. They are ambitious. Being an only child, they do not get enough experience of sharing and cooperation in relationships. They are used to getting all of their parents’ attention.

    According to the Big Five Personality Trait theory, there are five dominant traits (Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism) that represent personality; and the measurement of these five traits can account for the measurement of personality. In a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that “the development of personality is less determined by the role within the family of origin than previously thought." In a study conducted by Julia Rohrer, more than 20,000 adults from the U.S., U.K. and Germany were compared not only within their families, but also against other groups of siblings. After participants were surveyed about their birth order, IQ score and personality, researchers determined there was a lack of correlation between each. The study found no effect of birth order on any of the Big Five Personality traits; however, it could successfully estbalish that the oldest child was the smartest. The study also established that the differences in personalities were too small to present a definite correlation between personality and birth order. A possible reason for the oldest child being the most intelligent was accounted to the fact that first timer parents pay a lot attention to their childs' education. 

    So, if birth order does not affect the most important elements of personality, can we account it for having any impact at all? The answer is yes. While birth order does not affect the Big Five Traits, it certainly appears to impact intelligence. 

    Recent research has also established the same fact; first borns are indeed smarter than their siblings. Conducted by the University of Ediburgh, the study was published in the Journal of Human Resources. In it, 5,000 children completed reading and picture vocabulary tests every two years till 14 years of age. It was found that first borns had higher IQ test scores beginning as young as one year old. The reason for these scores this was attributed to more mental stimulation from parents by first borns. According to researchers, this study goes on to explain the birth order theory by Adler in the sense that it concludes first borns to be better and smarter than the rest of their siblings. This was because they scored more on tests including reading, matching letters, names, reading single words aloud and picture vocabulary tests in comparison to other children.

    It is important to note here that Adler's theory never quoted the fact that first borns were better than their siblilngs. He only associated certain traits that are unique to an individual's birth order and postulated them to have an effect on their personality. It is the recent research that has advanced his theory. While the two studies have established the superiority of intelligence among first borns, they have not quantified a link between birth order and personality. Perhaps future research could shed a little light on this topic. 

    But for now, first borns can rejoice!

  • 26 Jun
    Reshma Venugopal

    How to fall in love with yourself

    But first, Love yourself


    There I said it. A sentence many people simply choose to ignore or even deny. If you check your social media, you’ll notice that you follow at least one person you look up to. Now, you may look up to them for several reasons. Maybe they have the most successful career, are very fit with the perfect muscle to body ratio, or maybe you love their flawless skin. I am just as guilty of following these people I’ve listed, because I simply love to be inspired daily. A part of me wishes I was them and that I could be the one with a great fan following. But don’t we all?

    Humans are social beings. We need to be accepted and liked. Being a part of a specific social group allows us to have our social identities. Once we identify our social worlds, we submit ourselves to the compassion of a mass of what is known to be a remarkably influential social and cognitive process. Basically, we submit ourselves to the world and society. We give into the world, and we get so blinded that we neglect ourselves and our well-being. Most of us would not really know that it is happening because we are doing what is expected of us, and that is to follow the norms of society. However, what if the same norms are responsible for damaging yourself; your non-social self?

    You can sit there and wonder why your life is not as perfect or why your body is not as fit as the super model or fitness expert you follow on Instagram (which by the way, is about 80% of the people on the internet), or you can let that inspire you. So, don’t feel disheartened if this article is completely relatable to you because I am about to give you a few tips on how you can achieve the same sense of purpose and satisfaction.

    Step 1

    Admit who you are.

    This could mean the same thing as accepting who you are as a person. If you are someone with little more curves than a supermodel, and have done everything possible to tone your body and haven’t seen positive results, then just accept it. There is nothing wrong with your body. Thanks to our dear friend, the media, we all have this perception that the skinnier you are, the better you will look or the more desirable you will be. This is not a motto you should be living by. Everyone is different, and so are you. I would rather encourage you to live a healthier life, and do small things that will improve your health. Go to the gym, eat healthily or do a sport, but don't give yourself unrealistic expectations that will eventually hurt you if it does not work.
    You have some flaws, but so does the supermodel. Nobody is perfect, and maybe the only reason why she is a supermodel and you are not, is that she has accepted who she is and it is working out better for her. Have you tried to accept yourself? Be comfortable in your own skin, and the vibes you will give out will automatically make you feel beautiful and happier.

    Step 2

    List the things you love about yourself.

    I know this sounds like a very narcissistic thing to say, but nobody is asking you to post it up as your status. Nobody likes that. Please don’t be that person. Anyway, jokes aside, one way you can start loving yourself is by jotting down the things you like about yourself. Maybe ask your trusted friend to write the things they love about you. Find out the things that are not so pleasant about you. Loving yourself can also be achieved through fixing your flaws. Trust me; it’s better to identify your problem areas yourself than someone else telling you about it. If you are a hot-headed person, then learn to control your anger. Similarly, if you are a very anxious person, then learn how to calm down and relax in situations. Once you know your problem and safe areas, you’ll be able to accept yourself better.

    Step 3

    Work on your flaws.

    Once you’ve accepted your flaws and acknowledged your strengths, you’ll be able to finally move on from that stagnant part of your life. Now is the perfect time to move on with things without expecting too much. Unless your expectations are realistic, they will lead to disappointments. Now that you know where to improve yourself, you’ll find it easier to kick the bad old habits and feel like your gym sessions are worth it.

    Step 4

    Learn to enjoy your time alone.

    We all need to get out of the mentality that being around people is the only way to have fun. No, it is not. You don’t have to attend every single party that comes your way unless that is your job. You don’t always have to be around people. In fact, research has shown that even relationships work better when couples have their space from time to time. Some space is usually necessary for people to learn more about themselves and be alone with their thoughts. So if you enjoy reading a book alone in a corner, then that is fine. If you like to go on long walks all by yourself, that is fine too. Find ‘me time’ for yourself and revel in those moments.

    Step 5

    Celebrate your achievements.

    Everyone deserves to be proud of the remarkable things they’ve done in the past. Some people even find joy in looking through their report cards from kindergarten and first years of primary school. It is fine to celebrate and acknowledge all of your little and big achievements because at some point in life they’ve given you an internal happiness and those are the moments that have resulted in happy memories which are still capable of giving you joy, even today. The happier you are the more you will love yourself.

    So, there you have it, 5 steps on how you can love yourself. Learn to love yourself by increasing your self-esteem. You are who you are and you should be perfect for yourself. Believe me, there is nothing narcissistic about it if you don’t make it a public thing. Do whatever you are doing that makes you happy, for yourself and not for the world, and you will be surprised to see how many people respect and love you for it.  Just be unapologetically you. 

    Responses 1

    • Sanjna Verma
      Sanjna Verma   Aug 25, 2017 03:56 PM

      This is very well-written. This is a great topic and everyone needs to see at this. Especially in this age of social media wherein we try to fit into some specific standards and changing and moulding ourselves according to that we change our physical appearance and behaviour. Not everyone likes to be in the way, everyone is of course. All these tips conclude towards the point of doing what we want to and accept that and that is so important. It is about being the right person not according to the society but also according to us. And well yes, working towards flaws is also important. You cannot just go on laughing around inadequately paying no heed to people like your parents or teachers. They know where we stand and where we need to work upon as Someone who is always there to motivate us.


  • 25 Jun
    Shubhanshi Singh

    Should parents worry if their child is overactive?

     hyperactive child

    Parents often face difficulty getting their child to take a break from continuous playing and running around the house all the time, to get them to eat properly instead of playing with the food or being too excited or hyperactive most of the time without thinking of harmful consequences. One might see this as a normal overactive behaviour of a curious child.

    It is important to notice whether the child behaves the same way at school or other places or not, a child may be more organised at school because of the rules and conduct but not home. If his/her activities do not interfere with social or personal development, it's not harmful. Few parents are too quick to judge their child as showing abnormal patterns of behaviour, one should wait before making any decision. There will be more clarity if parents ask for feedback from teachers and other parents about their child to compare if indeed there is a reason to be concerned about.

    How to know that your child has ADHD?

    If your child has a persistent pattern of inattention or/& hyperactivity, impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development, characterised by inattention which compromises the child's social and academic work, it might suggest ADHD.

    Attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder is often referred to as hyperactivity. 10 million cases are reported every year in India. It is a real childhood disorder which makes its way to adulthood as well. Therefore, it is crucial that one monitors the symptoms that might help in diagnosing.

    A child with ADHD fails to give attention to details or makes careless mistakes such as overlooks or misses details which makes work inaccurate. He/she has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities such as difficulty remaining focused during lectures or conversation. He/she does not seem to listen when spoken to directly and the mind seems to wander elsewhere even in the absence of any obvious distraction. They often do not follow through on instructions and fail to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties because they quickly lose focus and are easily sidetracked.

    He/she will have difficulty organizing tasks and activities such as managing sequential tasks making it messy, disorganised and poor time management. Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort like schoolwork, preparing reports. Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities such as school materials, pencils, books, tools, etc and is forgetful in daily activities.

    His/her hyperactivity and impulsivity can be seen if he/she fidgets or taps hands or feet or squirms in seat or even leaves the seat when asked to remain seated. The child may run about or climb in situations that are inappropriate because they are unable to play or engage in leisure activities quietly. These children are termed as 'on the go' or acting as if 'driven by a motor'.

    They talk excessively and blurt out answers before a question is asked because they have difficulty waiting for his/her turn. They are more likely to interrupt others to get a chance to talk.
    Children with this disorder face many social problems because of their inability to perceive or understand others accurately. They also face problems with their parents because they do not obey rules. Their behavior problems are viewed negatively by their peers. However, generally, children with hyperactivity are not anxious, even though their overactivity, restlessness, and distractibility are often interpreted as symptoms of anxiety. These children do poorly in schools and show learning disabilities in reading or learning. The first step towards treatment of patients with ADHD is to label them correctly. It is often seen that teachers and even parents judge their children and label them as 'problem child' which does more harm than labeling them as with children with ADHD. It provides a better understanding of the behavior of the child rather than negative stereotyping.


    As a parent, here are things you can do at home to handle your overactive children:

    1. First of all, they need to be accepting of their child. If they continue to resent him or term him 'abnormal', the child may have more difficulty to the already tough situations. Be supportive of his/her actions, love him instead of all his/her mistakes.

    2. Look at the child's other heightened abilities such as creativity, energy, innovative, treat your child as if he is how he should have been. 

    3. Enroll your child into treatment programs. Treatment involves taking medications. There are also psychotherapy treatments commonly called behavioural cognitive therapy where the child expresses his/her thoughts and feelings to which they are given alternative ways to handle their emotions. Behavioural therapy tries to resolve immediate situations without looking into its origins.

    4. Social skills training is also provided to help the child develop behaviour to maintain a good relationship with people. However, the child should not think that his behaviour is controlled solely by these external factors and that he/she can regulate behaviour.

    5. Don't force your child to act in a certain way, tell him the appropriate behaviour and let him/her think over it. Don't punish. Reward the child for positive behaviour instead of punishing for negative behaviour, this would motivate him/her. Make sure that you don't blame the child for actions that he/she in unable to control.

    6. Use your words wisely because words hurt. It might look like the child is not paying attention to what you are saying but he/she may still overhear sometimes and nothing feels worse than your parents call you 'lazy', 'careless', 'impossible' etc.

    7. Listen to your child as well. He/she might ask for unreasonable things but if you continuously deny him everything, he might get rebellious. Even if you have to say 'no' to your child, say it pleasantly.

    8. Plan ahead of the situations. If you know that a certain action might lead to a disaster, pay attention to it. Don't focus on reacting when you can prevent situations.

    9. Parents should seek help from other parents who face the same problem. Feedback and different opinions may help.

    10. Parents should take training to be able to handle children with ADHD because it gets tough and stressful and it's okay. 

    Responses 1

    • Sanjna Verma
      Sanjna Verma   Sep 12, 2017 09:08 PM

      This is not just well written but also a very informative piece, especially for those parents who have been upbringing a child having ADHD. One thing I think you forgot to mention and I reckon, it should have been mentioned that boys are more prone to ADHD than girls and it has been seen that 80 percent of the ADHD inflicted individuals are boys. Children are very impulsive due to this disorder and you are very right in saying that parents shuld be very careful of what to speak in front of the child and also, how can the hyperactivity of the child can be used in a better way as well as be brought under control using these therapies like CBT.

      It was surprising to know how parents get panicky if they witness even a minor amount of impulsivity an lack of attention in the child. Here is where counsellors as well as teachers can play a role. I belive a problem can come in if there is a sibling of the ADHD affected child who does not cosider as smething happening due to specific cause whih can lead to conflicts between the children. Everyone surrounding that person, infact requires to be composedly handling the child.

  • 25 Jun
    Shruti Gupta Dehradun

    10 Skills for kids to learn during the summer vacations

    SUMMERS are here and the students are on a break from the heat and the their whole early morning routine. It is all about fun for them but it is not this simple for the parents. Summer vacations are more work and less fun for them. They spend their vacations worrying about the school assignments their child has to complete and the time that is left with them apart from this is spent on taking care of their little child wandering around the house and bouncing on the walls. Parents want to find ways to keep their child busy so that they have some time for themselves too. 

    What if I tell you there are ways to make your child busy even during their holidays? This article deals with skills that you can make your child learn during the sumer break. Here is the list of 10 such skills:

    child learning music


    Music serves as good source of refreshment in your life. If your child loves to listen to good music and has interest in learning it, there are various classes that can help him to do so. These classes teach you to play various musical instruments like guitar, piano, sitar, etcetera and also train you in vocal indian or western singing. A skilled musician is always appreciated.

    child learning drama


    Dramatics not only makes your child good in expressing but also improves his vocal skills. There are many classes available that teach english through the medium of dramatics. Many educational institutes are also popularizing such classes. Look for such classes in your locality and make your child join them.

    child learning swimming


    swimming is a very good medium of relaxing your body. It will help your child grow and will also add to the list of learned skills. A good swimmer can not only protect himself but can also be a life saver to someone else. Swimming as a sport is also encouraged by eductional institutions as you never know who has the potential to be the next Michael Phelps.

    child learning sports

    Insight Magazine


    learning any sport can be a good asset for your child. Sports like Badminton, Cricket, Football, Hockey, Tennis, etcetera, not only help your child grow physically but also have a positive impact on your child's mental health. Sports helps your child develop a good competive spirit and also makes his personality stronger. Also, Ceritificates and medals in various sports events can add weightage to your child's CV when he turns into a 18 year old looking for good colleges for graduation.

    child doing arts and crafts



    Arts and craft employ the best creativity in your child. Make him utilize this summer in learning new techniques that bring out the best in him or her. Painting, crafts from waste materials, paper art, etcetera, are few such activities your child can indulge in.

    child reading books



    Reading new books and writing his ideas will not only make his vocabulary stronger but will also enhance his knowledge. He will become more confident about himself. Writing down his ideas will also increase his speed and help him learn to use his words appropriately. 

    child summer vacation


    If your child takes interest in cooking make him join a cooking course. These courses will certainly not make your child a professional cook but will definitely teach him the basics of cooking that will help him in the future. There are many DIY videos available on various Youtube channels that can help your child acquire this skill.

    child in gardening



    Gardening is the best way to make your child relate to the environment and play his role in cleaning it. It will make him more socially responsible towards the environment. Apart from gardening, make him volunteer for activities that will make him more involved with the nature around him.



    Make him learn a second language he is not familiar with. It will enhance his knowledge and give him a new self-confidence.



    I agree that today no child is unaware of technologies like computers, laptops, smartphones, etcetera but gaining some extra knowledge about the same will not do any harm. Increasing his typing speed, or becoming a pro at using microsoft office will be helpful to him in the future. You should however, monitor his activities and make sure he learns the best he can in his vacations and not get involved with something inappropriate to his age.


    child learning computer


    Making your child do something other than academics will play a very important role in the over all personality development of your child. However, Learning something new is always a great thing but only when it is of some interest to the child. Do not force your child to do somerthing he does not want to do. He should enjoy whatever he is doing so that he makes the most out of it. 

    Image source


    Responses 3

    • Nihalika Verma
      Nihalika Verma   Jun 29, 2017 03:51 PM

      Great article. 

      We need to keep the children busy. As the children are very active and do not get tired with repetitive tasks, so we need to utilise this energy in their learning new skills. These activities will help them in their personality development and in social awareness as well.

    • Reshma Venugopal
      Reshma Venugopal   Jun 29, 2017 11:27 AM

      A must read for all young parents. This article not only describes the potential things parents can do, but it also educates our parents on the importance of extra-curricular activities, especially during the summer vacation. While most kids will find it annoying to be busy in their summer, it is just as important for them. 

      Moreover, I think it is super important for parents to first acknowledge what the child wants to do rather than force something on them. When they get to choose and seek what they are best at, they will be more motivated to do them. So parents, please always ask your child what their interest is in. And please remember no sport or extra-curricular is useless. It will always prove to be worthwhile in some way or the other. When they love what they are doing, they will never find an excuse. Hence making them happier and have a great overall improvement in their personalities and well-being. 

  • 27 Jun
    Minaish Dhabhar

    8 Common Myths about Hypnosis



    More than just “You are Getting Veeeery Sleeeepy”:

    I bet you can all think of at least one movie, off the top of your head, which involves a scene in which the hero or heroine is seen lying unconscious before a grim-looking therapist who seems to be doing nothing short of magic tricks. And lo and behold! Our protagonist suddenly remembers it all – the traumatic incident, his long-lost twin or even his past life.

    Let’s step back into reality for a while. While it is true that hypnosis is incredibly fascinating, there’s a ton that the movies leave out – and a whole lot more that they add in.

    Before jumping right into the eight myths about hypnosis, let’s take a look at what the term really means. Hypnosis is basically a technique used to put an individual into a state of concentration in which he or she is more receptive to external suggestions. 

    We agree, the definition may leave room for a little confusion, which is why we’re here to clear things up for you:

    Myth 1 – A Hypnotized Individual is Asleep or Unconscious

    Physically, a hypnotized individual may appear to be asleep. However, psychologically, the individual is alert, can react to stimuli and can even move about in certain situations. Different individuals experience different levels of consciousness, but on the whole, it is safe to say that it is certainly false that a hypnotized individual is unconscious or asleep.

    Myth 2 – Hypnosis is for the Weak

    For those of you who believe that your mental strength is too high for you to be able to be hypnotized, I hate to break it to you, but hypnosis has nothing to do with mental strength.

    In fact, theoretically, individuals with a higher IQ are more capable of getting hypnotized, due to their higher concentrative and imaginative capacities. 

    Myth 3 – The Individual under Hypnosis Can Be “Forced” To Do Things


    As mentioned previously, the individual is psychologically alert and aware. Due to increased concentration, he or she is more receptive to suggestions but is free and fully able to reject any unwanted suggestions or orders to act against their will.

    Myth 4 – Hypnosis is Dangerous

    Hypnosis is a perfectly safe and natural (sounds like we’re advertising a herbal product, doesn’t it?) technique. In fact, all of us are subjected to it without our knowledge. People often believe that one can be stuck in a hypnotic trance forever, which is very untrue.

    Myth 5 – Hypnosis is Supernatural

    While this myth is slowly getting dispelled with time and awareness, many still fear hypnosis to be a form of “black magic” or of supernatural powers. However, there are a countless numbers of very valid scientific studies dealing with and breaking down the nature of hypnosis.

    Myth 6 – Hypnotized Individuals Cannot Lie

    If hypnotism was an easy way to seek out the truth, we wouldn’t have lie detector tests, we’d have a lot less lawyers and detectives, and the story of Pinocchio and his nose would be a lot less popular. However, the truth is that individuals under hypnosis can very well lie or hide the truth, according to their inner motivation.

    Myth 7 – Hypnotized Individuals Do Not Remember Their Hypnosis Period


    As mentioned above, hypnosis varies among people and all have different states and levels of consciousness that they may enter. Most hypnosis sessions end with the client being fully aware of his or her session with the hypnotist.

    Myth 8 – You Have Never Been Hypnotized

    I intentionally saved this one for the end. The misinformation about hypnosis will probably reduce drastically when it is realized that all of us enter a state of hypnosis at least twice a day – right before going to sleep and right after waking up. Additionally, situations where one is so engrossed in a good book, or watching a great movie and loses track of time are all examples of environmental hypnosis.

    There you have it, guys. Eight of the most commonly believed myths about hypnosis, debunked. We hope you use your newfound knowledge to spread awareness about hypnosis and how it's more than just for stage artists and dramatic movies. In fact, here's another quick nugget of knowledge for you: hypnotherapy has actually found to have a higher success rate than behavioural therapy and psychoanalytic therapy, in a lot of cases. It has been found to be successful in over 90% of cases (this changes from disorder to disorder), so that's something to think about before you dispel it. 

    Be honest now, how many of the above eight had you been believing all this while? Let us know in the "comments" section below


    Image Source:google

    Responses 2

    • Sanjna Verma
      Sanjna Verma   Sep 12, 2017 08:25 PM

      Thanks for sharing this piece of information, Minaish. I did not believe in all the facts you mentioned in this article but yeah, I have heard about mental strengthbeing a factor which makes one to go through hypnosis andall the other fatcs, thanks to the movie-makers which I fail to understand from where have they read about hypnosis or maybe it is that, albeit having knowledge about it they do not show it because people have already had certain perception of this phenomenon which they cannot overrule. Very few people might be knowing about the real face of it.

      It was astounding to know how much benefit has it caused to various patients having psychological problems. I wanted to know more about this practice as I read it but even this is good. It is because of such mental blocks about psychological therapies, psychology as a field has not gained the foothold which it deserves. It needs to be shared with everyone who has formed a view on hypnosis after watching movies. 

    • Roger Hawcroft
      Roger Hawcroft   Jul 30, 2017 10:57 AM

      I have to admit that I did think that what happened under hypnosis was not recalled by the subject on their awakening.  I guess that I also thought that the hypnotised were in a semi-conscious state but more like being asleep than being awake.

      Most significantly I was surprised by the statement that the strong willed were just as susceptible to hypnosis.  A few years ago, a psychologist attempted to hypnotise me, without success.  He then told me that some subjects did not respond to hypnosis and that I was one of them.  He said it was because i was strong-willed.

      I have mental issues that have never been truly diagnosed but have included chronic depression, becoming suicidal, and not infrequently, becoming extremely frustrated with my situation and/or environment and, without warning, becoming very loud and starting to shout.  I rail particularly against religion and injustice and regularly shout out to 'God' to come and strike me down and curse her for not having the guts to do it.  I should point out that I have never physically hurt anyone during these episodes.  My frustration or anger is more to do with socialisation, culture, conditioning, selfishness, and so on - as I see them from my perspective.

      In between these episodes I am relatively calm and quiet.  I have a great deal of empathy and compassion but am very conscious of injustice both locally and across the World.  Myers-Briggs results have always put me in the INFP category.

      It appalls me that although humanity has progressed its knowledge and application of technology in leaps and bounds, it seems not to have moved in terms of human relationships, caring and sharing and understanding that difference is a benefit not a deficit and that synergy comes about by combining attributes, not by deleting or denying them.

      My life has been and is a mess.  My marriage one in name alone.  I don't blame anyone but myself for what I've experienced and where I've arrived.  However, I am sorry at the mental hurt I've caused others, especially those closest to me.  I don't believe that I am solely responsible for many of the issues going wrong but I do accept my role and that, perhaps, it has been the major factor.  For that reason I would like to find a way to deal with my frustration/anger without breaking into the shouting episodes and that is why I've shown interest in this post.

      I've wondered whether hypnotherapy may be able to help me in some way by conditioning me to respond in a different and more productive and quiet way.  I've seen psychologists & psychiatrists over the years but they have never achieved anything with me and now I'm at the stage where I am almost willing to try anything.

      Thank you for the article.


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