When we think of happiness, we think of success and achievements, we hardly think of failure, or more specifically, rejection. We imagine rejection as something we should be far away from, because being rejected means that you are not valuable enough, your worth is not enough. Right?
Rejection is just a process of mismatch between the demand and the supply.
You applied for a job but the company is looking for something else. That’s the same as you wanting coffee, but someone offers you tea. You decline tea because you don’t want it, at that point, but it does not mean that you hate tea and you think it has no worth.
Why do we feel so sensitive about rejection?
The answer lies in the way the society today measures success. Ever since capitalism and imperialism, we have always measured success in terms of gaining and possessing. A hermit or a sage who does not want any possessions is considered to be unhinged.
There is proof that rejection helps you to grow.
There is a viral experiment on YouTube, which is called 100 days of rejection. People are following the guidelines provided by Jia Jiang and asking one awkward question each day, for which, the answer is most likely no. Initially, they are very afraid and awkward. The questions become increasingly difficult to ask, that is, outrageous demands for which the answer will be no. However, towards the end of the experiment, the participant is not afraid anymore. He or she knows what rejection feels like, and more importantly, they know that the feeling only lasts a while, making you stronger in the process.
Come on! Get out of the comfort zone and go ahead
The ideology or philosophy here is to face your fears. Seldom does growth happen in the comfort zone. And to get out of the comfort zone and to go head on into a world full of possibilities, acquainting yourself to rejection is a good step. The fear is no longer in the abstract, and you know now what you were fearing, and also how easy it is to get over it. You will find yourself thinking, ‘Oh, I was afraid of THIS? But I feel so much better already? Why was I scared in the first place?”
We put more efforts to overcome hurdles
There is also evidence from cognitive psychology that in the face of a hurdle, we are more likely to put efforts to overcome it, therefore increasing our skill set. For example, if you have been rejected in love before, the next time, you are more likely to make the person feel special and keep working on the quality of the relationship. This in turn will make sure that you have a good, strong relationship, which will act as a safeguard if you face rejection in another area of life, like work, for example.
“Do what you fear and fear will disappear”
Therefore, exposing yourself to your fears is a good way to make yourself strong. Think of any emotionally strong person you know. Do you remember them having an easy past? No, right?
"The best of flowers grow in the harshest of weathers."