When Bianca found herself left alone with her twins, one of whom has Asperger’s disease, she found herself helpless. Her twins are 8 years-old now, and she went back to work just 18 months after the boys were born. She was then fired from her work 2 years later, because of all the pressure of taking care of herself and her babies. After this, she struggled to find full-time employment and along with her minimal earnings, she could not help but find herself and her boys in poverty. To improve her long term earning, she decided to start studying law, however, that also became an expensive and rather unmanageable thing to pursue. During this time, she made sure her sons were not facing any psychological issues, however, and quite unfortunately, they did go through them (10 stories of single mothers, 2017).
But the fact that a single mother (or father) do everything in their hands to ensure that their children remain healthy needs to be recognised. It’s their thoughts that make that type of relationship so beautiful, and here are some more reasons why every single parent deserves more appreciation.
1) Stress and emotional difficulties
I think it is safe to say that no matter who you are, if you are expected to do a two-person job by yourself, then you will make a face. Well, at least I do and should I be worried about that? Okay, we shall make this a topic of discussion some other day.
However, going back to the main point, single parents probably face more amount of stress and emotional difficulties than those with parents who have their partners support. Especially those single parent families that are trapped in the poverty cycle. Economic stress and poor mental health among single parents especially single mothers has been significantly correlated in many studies (McLoyd et al., 1994). So, when you think about it, they have so much on their plate, and the fascinating part is that no matter how much stress their financial situation and the society gives them, they only have one motive and goal in life, and that is to keep their kids happy.
2) Their daily struggles
In this case, I would like to divide this point into a few sub-categories:
- Dealing with the society: Once again, our dear society, our so-called culture, and norms dictate how one should live their life and what “should” make them happy. Single parents not only have to deal with the demanding world and people looking down on them, but they also must deal with how all that affects their children.
- Meeting the demands of more than one child when they are of different sexes becomes even more taxing. Their needs are obviously different and hence it becomes more difficult for them to meet those demands.
- Giving their children the love and affection they require. And maybe this is the toughest part. Because they are expected to be two parents, and make up for all that time they spend working, on catching up with the kids. Granted, that not all parents might be as patient and be giving as some, but studies have shown that single parents always do their best to care for their children.
3) They rise above all the difficult patches
This is hands down my favorite point. Studies have shown that no matter how difficult the situation gets, no matter how much stress and depression the parents go through, they eventually face reality and adjust themselves to the situation. Many of us from the younger generation often decide to simply give up when a difficulty arises just because we don’t get what we want. But hey, please learn from these people. Not everything revolves around you and if you failed in your exams or your parents didn’t let you go for a trip with your friends, then believe me it is not the end of the world. There are people out there who go through triple of what you do, and maybe your reasons make sense to you, but I think it is important we all learn from these single parents too.
What is more astonishing is that even the children of these single parents are so tough and adjustable. Yes, more than the ones with two parents. The lack of having one parent is most of the time not seen as a loss or discouragement but rather, seen as a symbol of strength. These are the same children who become independent and mature faster than the rest of the population. And I personally think, along with single parents, their children also deserve a round of applause.
4) They will complain the least
Between the battle of meeting ends, paying bills, getting their children a good education, and ignoring the intrusive and obnoxious aunties and neighbors who judge them, they only want to get through these problems by themselves. And I think that builds character and strength in the person. They will hardly want their children to know what they go through and through all of this, they will still try to maintain a positive outlook around their children and keep them happy no matter how hard it is.
There it is, all the reasons we need to respect and salute our single parents. We, as a society need to learn that no matter what the situation is that caused them to be alone, helping them out and not judging them should be one of the cultural rules that we should follow. So what if the lady/man in the next apartment is a divorcee? Or she/he had a child before marriage? The last thing she/he wants right now is your judgmental and unnecessary opinion. Like nobody asked you, and if you can’t accept him or her for who they are and what they have on their plates, then please stay out of their way and watch them rise above and fight it all, alone, with their children by their side.