It is common to be confused between love and lust, because a lot of the signs are indeed similar. They both include having strong feeling for the person, thinking about them a lot, and the general romantic feeling. But many a times, love at first sight is actually lust. So how do you tell the difference? These questions below can help.
- What do you like about the person?
If your liking of the person is only limited to physical attributes like looks or their social status, then it might be lust. Love has a more encompassing nature, and you like the person for their overall nature or personality, including their good features and bad ones. If you are unsure, think whether if your partner or crush suddenly had a disease or looked very different than they do, would you feel the same way? If no, then it’s lust.
- How important is the sexual relation?
Usually, sexual relations are also an important part of a love relationship, but in a lust relationship, they are the most important. For example, if your partner was incapable of having sex or sexual contact due to medical or other reasons, would you still be with them? If you are in love, then you would be by their side even if something unfortunate like this happens. It is difficult, but love makes you stay. If you feel you would not want to stay with the person, then you feel lust for them.
- How forgiving are you of their faults?
When you love someone, you accept them for both their good and bad attributes. You may fight and you may lose patience, but you are able to forgive their faults and love them. If you keep losing patience over the faults and only want the ‘good parts’ of the relationship, then it may not be love, because if you are in love, you are also ready for the struggle of faults and forgiveness.
- How good is the trust in your relationship?
Can you trust your partner with some deep secrets you haven’t told anyone else?
Can you tell them about some embarrassing incidents from the past without losing respect?
Can they do the same with you?
If not, then there is not a lot of trust in the relationship. Trust is the cornerstone of love, and if you cannot trust the person, there is not a high possibility for love either.
- Would you meet each other’s parents?
If for some reason, you or your partner had to meet parents of each other, would you do it? Meeting the partner’s friends and family means the relationship is serious. If you or your partner doesn’t see that happening, not even in the future, then it probably isn’t love.
The video below has an amazing TED talk differentiating the two: