• 01 Dec
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    Can love happen at first sight?

    Can love happen at first sight?

    Can love happen at first sight? This is a complicated question, one that many a writer, singer, poet and philosopher have asked. With the advent of science and technology, we have investigated love in laboratories, studying the chemicals, the emotions and the behaviour. This has armed us with the knowledge to answer this question.

     

    Firstly, the arguments against love at first sight: one argument is that it is based on looks and not characteristics,

    and the second is that not enough time has been spent with the person to know them well enough. As can be seem, both these points are also somewhat connected.

    Logically, these arguments seem valid. That when you first see someone,

    it is probably how they look that attracts you. You have no idea whether their personality and yours match. There are many people who can give anecdotal evidence from their lives that they indeed did not have a good relationship with the people whom they fell in love with at first sight.

    They feel that perhaps not acting on impulse and spending time with the partner would have helped them make a better choice.

     However, the assumption here is that time, or knowing the person makes a difference to the level of love that one feels.

    But that is not true. When we love someone, at first sight or not, we are usually very reluctant to accept their faults and see them in a sort of hallow. So love does make us immune to the faults of other people. However, it does this regardless of whether it was love at first sight or not.

    Secondly, there are two concepts that are often confused: length or longevity of a loving relationship, and the intensity of the love.

    Love at first sight is all about the intensity, whereas love over the years is about the length of loving relationship. However, these two concepts are not neatly separated and one builds into the other.

    Just because it is love at first sight and may not last very long, does not mean the validity or the intensity of that love needs to be doubted. Similarly, it does not mean that a long relationship has for sure become boring has no intensity left.

    Therefore, in the light of these findings, we can say that we are not entirely sure why we get attracted to one person only, when there may be many more good looking people around.

    If the looks are behaviour of that person in the span of minutes does indeed inform us well (as is tested in speed-dating competitions), then the question is not whether love can happen at first sight, but how to make that love last?

    Often, regardless of a slowly developed relationship or love at first sight, people often lose track of their partner. They do not care or communicate like they used to and that leads to falling apart. So apart from just falling in love, we also need to learn how to be in love.

    For more information click this video:


    Responses 1

    • amit kumar mishra
      amit kumar mishra   Dec 24, 2015 01:14 PM

      I don't know if this still counts under love at first sight but when we first talked to each other I knew from that moment it was love...It was an amazing feeling since I had never felt that way before and at first I did not believe in it. In many famous stories such as romeo and Juliet for example romeo falls in love when he first sees Juliet and sine so many people have felt this way too love at first sight must be true

  • 22 Jan
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    Know all about family therapy.

    know all about family therapy

     

    Family therapy is a different form of therapy than just one-to-one therapy.

    The format and the approach are all very varied from traditional therapy.

    Within therapy too, there are many schools of therapy. Although family therapy is conducted with all or most members of the family, it can even be conducted with one person.

    Family therapy started as a reaction to the diagnosis of schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders where the person himself or herself was blamed as the reasons for the symptoms.

    Family therapy research suggested that children from families that gave mixed signals when communication tend to be much likely to develop such disorders later in life.

    Of course, this was a very extreme position to take and they did mellow it down later, but they had made a case for the role of dysfunctional family patterns.

    Family therapy contends that the fault is systemic although there may be only one ‘identified patient’.

    However, if the identified patient has to truly get better, then the whole system needs to change. They may have one or more faulty communication patterns which may lead to faulty subsystems and inefficient boundaries, which eventually lead to mental health disorders in one or more people.

    The family therapist tends to talk to the whole family, and encourages them to talk to each other as well, and identifies the communication gaps and issues in them.

    Once noticed, they correct the pattern there in the session itself, and slowly these changes are implemented later outside the therapy room as well. Boundaries are to the level which one subsystem is differentiated from the other.

    Parents are one subsystem, children are another subsystem and so on. If the parents are overly involved in the child’s life, it is called an enmeshed boundary, whereas if their involvement is haphazard, it is called a diffused boundary.

    Once these boundaries are known to be unhealthy, they are gradually improved by commenting and practicing alternate behaviours, in the therapy room and slowly later in life too.

    When the whole family is not able to come, then the remaining members are asked about the patterns in the family, and asked to change their response in the patterns so that these effect the other person and in return, the whole system becomes healthy.

    Family therapy is found to be especially effective in relationship issues like divorce cases, or when there are special children in the family.

    When there is recurrent drug abuse of psychopathology that relapses too often, it is believed that the person is not able to give up the old behaviour because of the family, and in that case too, family therapy is attempted.

    Family therapists require special training in order to understand family systems and successfully observe faulty patterns.

    The family is a much more difficult clientele than a single person as fights can and do erupt within the therapy room itself and therefore the therapist needs to be very skilled to be able to control such situations.

     

    Image source

  • 30 Nov
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    Why do different people like different colours?

    Why do we like different colours

     

     

    Why do different people like different colours?

    Colours are a very important factor of our daily lives. Colours are used very carefully in marketing in order to increase sales. It is definitely proven that different colours have different effects on us.

     But what is the exact mechanism for it?

     There are few explanations for it.

    • One explanation is that we usually tend to like colours that indicate freshness and are important for our survival. Therefore, we like colours of fresh fruits and vegetables, as well as blue and green that stand for an open sky and clear water. This may be the reason why not many people’s favorite color is brown as it may stand for rotten foods or faeces.
    • However, when colours are associated with objects, then people report liking even brown, because it stands for chocolate, an object they like. Therefore, colour liking is not random. Often, we like colours because of what they signify or represent in our minds.
    • Studies have found that colours are associated with, and provoked by certain moods and states of mind. This is related to the wavelength that the colour induces and how much the brain has to process to see the colour. For example, red is usually an alerting, stimulating colour. That’s why we have red lights and red public transport.
    • Red is an emotionally stimulating colour and is used to garner sales for materials like Valentine’s Day cards and the like. Red is also found to stimulate appetite and may be used in décor of restaurants.
    • Some colours like blue are associated with a low or depressed mood state. If someone likes blue a lot, it’s not necessary that they are depressed though. It could just mean that they are reflective and think a lot. But it could also be that the jersey of the team they support is blue, and therefore they like blue. Therefore, even though certain moods and personality traits are associated with colours, research is still going on to say anything clear. But there is not just one meaning for colour liking. For example, yellow-orange spectrum colours signify outgoing, lively and extrovert nature, but everyone who wears clothes of these colours may not feel that way.
    • There are also cultural differences in what colours people like. For example white is the colour of purity and is worn by brides in western cultures, whereas in India, widows wear white. Therefore, the culture one grows up in also has a major influence on colour preference.

    Therefore, what all these findings indicate is that universally, in all humans, certain colours evoke certain reactions by stimulating the brain, and so they are thus used in marketing and advertising. But individual colour preference is highly unique and depends from person to person, on their culture, objects of their liking and their personality traits and mood.

     Image source:(http://www.colormatters.com/color-and-design/basic-color-theory)

     

    Responses 1

  • 30 Nov
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    Why do we like to see attractive faces?

    Why do we like to see attractive faces? Why Do We Like To See Attractive Faces?

    Voting for contestants of beauty pageants and predicting which person is more likely to get the head-boy or head-girl award at your school have one surprising aspect in common:

    The most attractive contestant is likely to win.

    It’s true!

    We are chemically hardwired to not only seek attractive faces but also trust them with responsibility and other morally good aspects.

    A recent study explored the effects of MOR or μ-opiod receptors. When participants were injected with a drug that increased release of MOR in the brain, the participants lingered longer on pictures of attractive faces and gave them extremely favourable ratings.

    The opposite effect was seen when MOR-reducing drugs are given.

    However, this research finding is not entirely new and surprising. Some researchers have questioned whether this is an in-born trait or whether we acquire the liking for attractive faces because we grow up being surrounded by movies, media and other messages that suggest a preference and glamour for attractiveness.

    The answer comes in the form of research done with babies. Many studies have found that even babies tend to look longer and smile at attractive faces, thus confirming that it is not so much the effect of socialization but an in-born phenomenon, and, as the recent study establishes, something which is neurochemically hardwired.

    Attractive Faces

    Why do we have this preference for attractive faces?

    Our evolution provides good answers. As we were evolving, who to trust was a big question, because friendship with the wrong person or tribe and the wrong sort of partner could be devastating for our chances of populating the earth and further chances of evolution. Therefore, if someone looked attractive and pleasing, they were easier to trust. And thus, attractiveness, or rather the hunt for it, is hardwired in the brain.

    But what exactly does attractive mean in this context?

    It doesn’t necessarily mean fair. It means a face with good symmetry, and shape. It also means that the person looks happy, healthy and emphatic.

    People with a good amount of clean blood flow tend to have a clear skin and that is why we prefer clear skin.

    So in essence, we seek ‘attractiveness’ because features like symmetry etc indicate a healthy, happy person who may make a good mating partner or a good tribe partner.

    However, implications of attractiveness are far from over.

    Study after study is showing that certain kinds of people are preferred in elections, interview situations and even as romantic partners. These people are attractive, but more than mere looks, they have the following traits:

    clear skin,

    healthy hair,

    big and happy smile,

    posture presentable

    and fitness level.

    All of these aspects of the person make it easier for our brain to process their image as it fits our ideal image.

    Therefore, many of the above indicators show that you can work on yourself and increase your attractiveness levels despite how you look. That is the best take-away from this article, and could make a difference to all spheres of your life.

    Following video explain this concept in a bit more detail - How do you define beauty:

    Image source Image source

    Responses 1

    • amit mihra
      amit mihra   Dec 27, 2015 09:15 PM

      Because it attracts you.Then you will want  more about it.And more you know about it,more likely you are to fall love with it just as making friends with strangers

  • 28 Nov
    Anjali Khurana

    Understanding the Attraction of Selfies

     

    Why do  we take selfies

    The internet is flooded with selfies. Although some selfies are taken on certain occasion (work, marriage, victory, achievement etc), most selfies do not even need any occasions. Special filters on apps like Instagram and Snapchat make sure that we use these filters to post good looking pictures of ourselves.

     So why do we take selfies?

    One of the biggest explanations is control.

    • We can control the quality of the picture when taking a selfie. This may not be the case when someone else takes our picture.
    • We can decide from among many filters which one we want.
    • We can choose the angle and the lighting.
    • We can also take multiple copies and then choose the best one. All this is not very likely when other people take our pictures.

    So selfies help us control how we look, at least to others.

     So why do we want to control how we look?

    The explanation lies with the ‘looking glass self’ explanation. This hypothesis contends that in a digital, connected world, the notion of deriving our value from the eyes of others has become very exaggerated. People are frequently posting about what they do every minute. In order to compete with this, even we want to post photos of how our life is ‘happening’ too. We want to show photos in which we look good and happy.

    This is because our self-esteem now-a-days is much more affected by what others think than it ever was before. Not getting enough likes can actually make people lose confidence! Therefore, since people are deriving their esteem and confidence from what others think about them, they want look their best, get maximum people’s liking and attention and feel good about themselves.

    So are we happy now that we are taking so many selfies?

    The research is quite divided. Some studies with women participants have reported that getting likes and positive comments on their pictures has actually helped women feel good about themselves, and their looks and has made them happier.

    Some other studies state that because people seem to rely so heavily on being liked on social media, their self-esteem suffers really badly on getting negative feedback. Therefore, putting yourself out there so much to be judged and liked (or disliked) may actually be damaging for your self-esteem and confidence levels.

    Another explanation for the selfies fad is that people who take too many selfies maybe narcissists, or people who feel abnormal levels of love for themselves. By taking so many selfies, they appease the desire for self-appreciation. However, research also claims that narcissists actually have a grave level of self-doubt, which is why they seek so much appreciation in the first place.

    Regardless of the explanation, one question is the need of the hour: Are we controlling our pictures, or are our pictures controlling us?

    understading

    Can you believe that the first selfie was taken in the year 1939 by Robert Cornelius? Here are some facts about selfie:

    Responses 1