• 07 Dec
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    Everything You Need To Know Before Remarrying

    Everything You Need To Know About Replacement Wife

    This has been a phenomenon reported by many women and is also written about, with many books to the credit of this theme. What most women face is that they are married to men whose beloved wives have died or few women also say that this happens when they are married to men who have willingly or unwillingly divorced from their previous wives.

    Pressure on new wife

    There can be a great pressure on the new wife to do things the exact same way as the previous beloved wife. This is especially true of aristocratic and traditional families and households. Usually, this happens because the previous beloved wife has been a part of the household for long enough and everyone has gotten used to her ways.

    Depersonalization of new wife

    It may not seem like a big deal to everyone else, but for the new wife, who already is facing the struggles of a change of environment, there are major hurdles is she is asked to be a carbon copy of the previous beloved wife. She may develop a sense of depersonalization as she may be increasingly confused about who she really is and who she should be.

    Psychological effect on new woman 

    The pressure put on her to confirm to the expectation and the criticism she may feel if she is not the same as the previous beloved wife can lead to the development of psychopathology as the woman may feel ostracized and lonely. It can lead to the development of depression, anxiety, somatic and even psychotic symptoms.

    She may have develope guilt feelings

    There can be a sense of confusion because copying the ways of the previous wife may give her the praise of the family, but at the same time she may feel like she is lying to herself and fooling the others and this may make her feel guilty.

    She may have possession episodes

    In many collectivistic cultures like India, it is seen that these women face a decline in health and wellbeing and start having possessions too. In fact, it makes a lot of sense that they have possession episodes, since these are the only times when these repressed women are allowed to be themselves and no one bothers them.

    Remarriage means healing by new relationship

    To avoid such instances of repression and agitation, men wanting to marry again should make sure to work through the grief of the previous beloved wife’s loss before they marry again and use the relationship to heal and not worsen someone else’s mental health.

    Rethink from her point of view

    They should also consider their reasons for marrying: do they really want a partner or they just fulfilling social obligations? All these important questions should be considered to save the sanity of not only the woman, but the entire household.

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  • 07 Dec
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    The wonders of water for teenagers


     The wonders of water for teenagers

     We live in an age of health products. You have so much variety within each product, like ten types of soy milk itself. At such times, it can be really confusing about what is healthy and what isn’t. That’s the time to go back to simplest means. One of the best ones: Water. Read on to know more about how just sipping water can work wonders for your health.

    Decrease fatigue: Our muscles need water in order to function well. Stocking up regularly on water means you feel less fatigued. This means better concentration, more energy and more alertness (brain is a muscle too!)

    Food to Water Ratio: Although there is a standard of 8 glasses a day, that is almost always the bare minimum. Depending on your food intake, you have to increase your water intake. Protein and carbohydrates need more water to be processed. This is especially true of non-vegetarian food, as well certain dals and pulses. Carb-dense food like maida and bread also require more water to break down properly.

    Beverages and Water: Certain beverages like tea and coffee, as well as alcohol, tend to have a diuretic effect on the body, by draining it of the water. To make up for this you need to drink more water. So, combining for the food and drinks, you need to drink way more than the 8 – 10 glasses. Also, the water in other beverages does not count. You need to have just water for it to have helpful effects

    Weight Loss: Having proper amounts of water fills you up much better than other beverages. It also flushes your digestive system properly and helps to better the absorption of food. Thus, you feel fuller faster. The most important contribution to weight-loss is that when you drink more water, the body does not feel it is dehydrated and so it doesn’t store water from other sources, which can lead to swelling and bloating, and increasing body weight.

    Skin: Water may be your mantra for a clear and glowing skin. Dehydration can lead to dullness, acne and wrinkles. Having enough water can keep the skin cells healthy and make the skin glow too. However, overhydrating won’t make skin problems disappear. It’s just a good prevention and basic cure. You can lock in the water of your skin cells by using a moisturizer though.

    Overall health: Water flushes all the organs, and helps to keep them healthy, especially the heart. Having good amounts of water also contributes positively to a strong and healthy immune system.

    Now that you know the benefits of water, let’s talk about the forms you could take it in. Although water taken with tea and coffee and so on does not count, water in mint water, lime water and other uncaffeinated preparations does count. Also, fruits and vegetables that are packed with water also help, like cucumber, watermelon, sweet melon and so on.

    How water important for life

    So go on, fill up on your water quota for a simply healthy life! Following beautiful video explains it in more detail:


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  • 07 Dec
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    What motivates people to get tattoos?


    What motivates people to get tattoos?

    While some people may be really scared of the needles and the pricks while getting a tattoo, some others seem to love it. Maintaining a tattoo means not washing the tattooed parts for a few days too, not to mention the pain and the inconvenience.

    Yet, people get it done, and that too by paying a lot of money, and spending a lot of time, and with great pride!

     So, what motivates these people?

    Read on to know more about the psychological factors involved in tattooing:

    It reduces pain: Endorphin is a brain chemical that is released when we feel pain. Tattooing causes a lot of pain as the skin gets inked; this releases endorphins and gives the person a heady rush. People might come to enjoy it so much that they may repeatedly want to get tattoos.

    It gives the person more energy: Adrenalin is the hormone that is released when we are undertaking an exciting and challenging task. Tattooing is found to be exciting and challenging by people and leads to the production of adrenalin. Some studies also claim that some people have more adrenalin release than others and this makes them prone to not only tattooing but other thrill-seeking adventures as well.

    It is way of expressing  feelings and ideas: A tattoo is a physical sign on the body that speaks about the person before he or she can talk and is thus a very powerful mode of self-expression. For many teenagers, the period of teenage is stormy, and they tend to cling to one identity in order to pass this stormy period. They feel that this identity is central to them, and will continue to be so life-long. They swear their allegiance to this identity, whatever it may be, by making it permanent on their body in the form of a tattoo.

    Group Identity: Tattooing can be seen as a part of the rebel cult that a person wants to belong to, and swears by, especially if he or she has been ostracized by the larger community. This is especially true of young people who come from difficult backgrounds. It is therefore understandable why someone would want to take up a identity slogan which is a sign of loyalty to the only group identity available to the person.

    However, for the most part, tattooing is a good natured rush, just like dance, exercise or coffee. Doing it in limits, and making sure the procedure is safe can help you responsibly enjoy getting inked.

    Why people like tatoos

    Do you know how the word tattoo originated, there is a lot of interesting history worth knowing:


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  • 04 Dec
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    In the wake of flood and rains


    In the wake of flood and rains


    Chennai is reeling with the horror of floods and excessive rains. This is a very difficult time for people as their lives are getting disrupted, their properties and belongings destroyed. Some people have lost their friends and family, and everything else they have. The psychological burdens of such disasters are as enormous as the financial and physical ones.

    It can be very disillusioning to go through such trauma and one may forget the basic upkeep required. Following are certain basics you should assure that you have, either on your own or from government and NGO assistance initiatives:

    • Food: Make sure you have food and water for at least 3 – 4 days, as the floods can take time to subside, and for shops to reopen. Using the internet, you can find out where is the nearest to get food packets. 
    • Medical supplies: Make sure you have a medical kit with basic medicines like pain killers, antiseptics and bandages. NGOs are also providing medical help if you need any. 
    • Do not berate yourself: When you are trapped at home waiting for the flood to subside, it can be a difficult time. All the destruction you see around you and that which you hear on the news can make you feel extremely slow and sad. Feeling hopeless in the face of such a trauma is normal. Do not berate yourself but also believe that it will go. Express your feelings of despair and channelize them through support initiatives. If you cannot actually get out of the house and help, simply giving alerts on the internet or making your house available for people to take refuge in can be helpful. It will also give you a sense of purpose and help you feel that you are doing something to manage the situation. 
    • Spend time with family:Try spending time with family, doing things together, even if just having tea or a meal together. In times of distress, it can help to count your blessings. Spending quality time with family or friends is a good way to do this. 
    • Revisit old times: Another tip to help you feel less sad in the wake of such a time is to revisit old times. View old pictures or videos with your family to stir a sense of nostalgia. Thinking of old events also makes you feel that life has both good and bad times and all of them pass, and life resumes.

    If you still feel emotional troubles, unexplained aches or pains, inability to get up from the bed and do required things, or flashbacks, you could be  suffering from acute stress disorder or post traumatic stress disorder.

    To get required help, you can seek the help of online counseling websites like www.ewellnessexpert.com , or call a phone counseling helpline. Make sure to get more help when the floods subside too. Take care of yourself. It is a difficult time, accept that and do what you can, but be assured that this too will pass. Reach out to us for assistance. We will do our best to help you. 

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  • 02 Dec
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    A home away from home-Battling homesickness

    A home away from home-Battling homesickness


    Are you away from home for work or study reasons?

    It is quite natural for you to miss home, especially if this is the first time you have moved. A major part of leaving home is not just about home, but also about a change in identity. Where and how we live, as well as our interactions with friends and family are a major part of our identity and it takes some time for the change to sink in and for you to adjust well to it.

    The following could be described as homesickness:

    • If you have feelings of reminiscence or nostalgia for home, a tight knot in the stomach thinking of how this new life will be.
    • If you feel unable to concentrate on the tasks you need to do or get up from bed, because the situation where you have moved to is too unfamiliar and you are not getting used to it despite a month or so having passed.
    • If you are having aches and pains without any physical cause, falling ill frequently, losing appetite or sleep, and live from one phone call from home to the next.


    If you are indeed feeling homesick, then the following tips may be helpful to you:

    • Take care of physical health: When you are feeling a little low and homesick, it is quite easy to ignore your health. Feeling unwell will further remind you of home. So make sure to eat and sleep well and take your doctor’s help for ailments.
    • Go out: Going out with friends at the new workplace or university or visiting places like cinemas, museums, art shows etc when you are free are a good way to spend your time and they stimulate your mind and give you something to think about. They will also help you have good moments, just like you used to have when you were home.


    • Someone to talk to: Often, home means having someone to talk to. Find trustworthy friends or counselors in the new place so that you don’t feel that you need to keep all your emotions trapped inside you because you aren’t home.


    • A new hobby: If you have time on your hands, take up a new hobby or language. The brain needs to pay a lot of attention when learning a new skill and this can help you get over repeated thoughts of going home.


    • Get busy: Try to get your deadlines completed, in terms of school schedules or work. Getting your work done will keep you busy and give a sense of accomplishment. This will help you feel that even though you don’t like being away from home, you are doing it for a reason, and slowly you will adjust better to the new place.


    If after trying all these tips you still feel nostalgic and homesick, you can try arranging a trip home to see if that makes you feel better. You may want to see a counselor or mental health professional if nothing else seems to help.

    home battling home sickness

    Please check this beautiful TED talk for more information.


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