Total 228 Blog Posts

  • 17 Jan
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    Namo, BigB, SRK: why do they get highest followers on social media?

    namo, big b, srk

    Many celebrities have a lot of fan following on twitter, however, Narendra Modi or Namo, Amitabh Bachchan or Big B and Shahrukh Khan or SRK perhaps have more loyal and bigger fan following than the rest. Are there certain aspects of personality that attract us to celebs and non-celebs alike?

    Years and years of personality research has revealed certain personality characteristics that are seen across cultures.

    This is called the Big-five model and comprises of five main traits:

    1. Openness to Experience
    2. Conscientiousness
    3. Extraversion
    4. Agreeableness
    5. Neuroticism

    Generally, it is agreed that a pleasing and functional personality should not be very high on neuroticism (anxious/worrisome), but about the other traits, it depends on culture. For example, introversion (less extroversion) is looked down upon in collectivistic cultures like China.

    Openness to Experience and Agreeableness have been found to have an important impact on work life. The reason is that these traits are important for growth: negotiating skill and the willingness to learn. Similarly, two traits that have been found very important for social life are extraversion and conscientiousness.

    Extraversion means that the person enjoys and thrives in social situations. He or she seeks pleasure in the company of people, always keeps in touch, can make good conversation, and people find him or her fun to be with.

    Conscientiousness is the willingness to do the morally right thing. This means that the person thinks and wants to do right, and can also commit to doing right in front of people/verbally.

    As a society, Indians really value the two traits above, and if we see, these are also the traits found in a lot of our Gods, holy men and mythical figures. Considering that Namo, Big B and SRK are considered to be on some high pedestal, we want them to have these time-tested traits of extraversion and conscientiousness. And as we can see, they do have these traits.

    Three of them are extremely social and very quick and smart with their words, and media persons are found to quote them often. They are liked by almost everyone. They are found in many interaction events and special occasions. Secondly, we have also seen them voice the proper and just opinion on may social issues. This helps to increase their worth in our eyes and we uphold them as celebrities who have a conscience and are not mindless spenders of money.

    We easily believe when they voice these opinions because we know that they come from humble backgrounds. Therefore, we see them as hardworking and not likely to be cheating and morally wrong. This makes it also difficult for people to hate them, even those who do not like their Profession.

    References:1 2 3 4

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  • 17 Jan
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    Preparing your son for puberty

    son puberty

     

    Whereas the movement of a girl into puberty would be continuous and smooth, for a boy, it is more in spurts, and so in between these spurts it may be easy to miss out that they too are going through changes. Inform yourself first as it is important to understand the range of things that happen, before you talk to your son.

    After that, the following points need to be looked at:

    Bodily changes: First and foremost are the changes that you need to talk about. Inform them that their voice might break as they grow an adult male voice, about facial hair and shaving, as well as secondary sexual characteristics like pubic hair. Tell them that the hormonal changes that lead to all this will also make them more volatile in mood make them see girls differently and may lead to instant liking and disliking of people and things. Tell them to not act on impulses as far as possible.

    Increase in aggression: As testosterone levels change in the body to help out make the necessary changes for the boy to become a man, it may also need to aggressive tendencies. First tell yourself and then your son that this is normal. If you expect it and normalize, it is easier to handle. Expect some anger, some rage. Make sure you keep talking to your son in an understanding manner so they don’t feel bottled up. Further, direct the aggression towards constructive activities like sports to ease it out.

    Hygiene and care: You need to tell them how to clean up after a wet dream as well as the importance of maintaining general hygiene in the private parts, including shaving regularly. Masturbation is a healthy and good release, but needs to be hygienic. Help them with information, privacy and an understanding attitude at this point.

    Exchange of adult material: At this age, boys tend to exchange pornographic material. This is overhyped and unrealistic and can misinform them about sex. Tell them that this will happen and if they want actual information about the sexual act, it is better to see proper information sources. Do not deny this information to them as they are naturally curious and its better they satisfy the curiosity with the right information than the wrong one. At the same time, talk to them about waiting to grow up before they act on any of this information. Coming from a person who wants them to know the right things, they will listen to you when you ask them to wait.

    Peer pressure for certain activities: There might be peer pressure to try out smoking, drinking, drugs, late nights and reckless activity. Tell them beforehand that other boys may pressurize them into this, but not to fall in the trap as this will derail them from their life goals. Tell them they can have healthy fun like music concerts and going out to eat but not beyond that. Be a friend to them and empathize with them and they will surely listen to you.

     

    Read more:

    Preparing your daughter for puberty

    References:1 2 3

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  • 17 Jan
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    Preparing your daughter for puberty

    girls puberty

     

    Puberty can be a time of surprising and challenging changes, both with body and emotions. For a growing girl, a lot is going to change. Before you can help out your child, it is most important to understand a lot of things yourself first. Technical knowledge apart, it is important to have a trusting and empathic attitude towards your child as harshness will push them away. Expect some mood swings and rebelliousness so that it does not take you by surprise. Be a friend to them, and this rough period can be passed easily.

    Some helpful tips to help out and prepare your daughter are mentioned below:

    Inform: First and foremost it is necessary to give them the right information. Find out about the changes that are likely to occur in the body and have a genuine talk with them about it. Make sure to find some free time and not when they are busy with school work. Also, do it only when the two of you are there. The presence of others might make them awkward. Focus mainly on development of breasts, periods, and pubic hair. Talk of the healthcare measures for all this. Also tell them that their mood may be affected as they go through hormonal changes.

    Ask: Ask them if they fell conscious about certain aspects of the body, of teasing at school or if they are in a co-ed school, ask them whether it has gotten awkward to be friends with boys. Healthy interaction of both the sexes is important, so don’t impose a ban on talking to boys. If they do not know how to talk to the opposite sex, their later personal life and work life will become difficult.

    Normalize: This step is very important. Normalize whatever they do and say. If they say being friends with boys is difficult, tell them it’s okay, it’s normal, this happens. And then guide them that keeping these friendships is important as the awkwardness is only temporary. Telling them this is normal and okay is important because they do not understand much of what is happening and may feel needlessly guilty. What’s more, coming from you, they will believe it and feel better, and also, this will improve the relationship you have with them.

    Allow: Allow for some changes and experimentation. If they can’t be free with you then they will feel really stifled. Allow them to do some reasonable experiments with career interests, likes and choices, dressing and personal style. They are just trying out things. Of course, if the experiment is too risky like getting a tattoo in a very sensitive skin area, then you gently but firmly refuse it. Tell them to sit on the idea till they are a little older and if then they still feel like doing it, you will consider it again.

    Help: Lastly, going along with them to pick up certain objects of use can be the ultimate support signal. Go and buy lingerie with them to help them pick the right size and comfort. Help them with the use of sanitary napkins and other menstrual instruments like tampons and menstrual cups. Help them out about understanding how to shave pubic hair. This is where they may falter, the actual shopping and managing, so don’t leave them alone there.

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    References:2 3 

     

     

     

     

     

  • 12 Jan
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    6 Solid Points How Rejection Helps You Grow

    How rejection help us to grow

     

    When we think of happiness, we think of success and achievements, we hardly think of failure, or more specifically, rejection. We imagine rejection as something we should be far away from, because being rejected means that you are not valuable enough, your worth is not enough. Right?

    Wrong.

    Rejection is just a process of mismatch between the demand and the supply.

    You applied for a job but the company is looking for something else. That’s the same as you wanting coffee, but someone offers you tea. You decline tea because you don’t want it, at that point, but it does not mean that you hate tea and you think it has no worth.

     

    Why do we feel so sensitive about rejection?

    The answer lies in the way the society today measures success. Ever since capitalism and imperialism, we have always measured success in terms of gaining and possessing. A hermit or a sage who does not want any possessions is considered to be unhinged.

     

    There is proof that rejection helps you to grow.

    There is a viral experiment on YouTube, which is called 100 days of rejection. People are following the guidelines provided by Jia Jiang and asking one awkward question each day, for which, the answer is most likely no. Initially, they are very afraid and awkward. The questions become increasingly difficult to ask, that is, outrageous demands for which the answer will be no. However, towards the end of the experiment, the participant is not afraid anymore. He or she knows what rejection feels like, and more importantly, they know that the feeling only lasts a while, making you stronger in the process.

     

    Come on! Get out of the comfort zone and go ahead

    The ideology or philosophy here is to face your fears. Seldom does growth happen in the comfort zone. And to get out of the comfort zone and to go head on into a world full of possibilities, acquainting yourself to rejection is a good step. The fear is no longer in the abstract, and you know now what you were fearing, and also how easy it is to get over it. You will find yourself thinking, ‘Oh, I was afraid of THIS? But I feel so much better already? Why was I scared in the first place?”

     

    We put more efforts to overcome hurdles

    There is also evidence from cognitive psychology that in the face of a hurdle, we are more likely to put efforts to overcome it, therefore increasing our skill set. For example, if you have been rejected in love before, the next time, you are more likely to make the person feel special and keep working on the quality of the relationship. This in turn will make sure that you have a good, strong relationship, which will act as a safeguard if you face rejection in another area of life, like work, for example.

     

    “Do what you fear and fear will disappear”

    Therefore, exposing yourself to your fears is a good way to make yourself strong. Think of any emotionally strong person you know. Do you remember them having an easy past? No, right?

    "The best of flowers grow in the harshest of weathers."

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  • 10 Jan
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    10 skills needed to get what you want

    10 skill needed to get what you want

    We may all want different thing but it comes down to certain key goals, there are some common skills that need to be in place for us to achieve them.

    A list of ten important skills is illustrated below.

    1.Patience: All goals take time to accomplish. Even the simplest of things, getting an errand done, can take a while if you are facing lots of obstacles. Therefore, patience is the first virtue you need to grow and cherish. When you feel short on patience, remind yourself of the goals you set and also how you would feel when you achieve them.

    2.Perseverance: Slightly related to patience, but more so with hard work, this means that just waiting around is not enough. Therefore, you also need to keep trying harder and better at whatever it is that you wanted to achieve. Patiently persisting is the key to reaching to your goal.

    3.Planning: There needs to be some direction in your efforts to achieve your goal. You need to plan what is to be done first and what can be done later. What aspect of your planning would require more resources and what can be done with the present pool of resources, and so on.

    4.Time management: Time is not limitless and we need to spend it carefully. For example, if outsourcing a task would cost a little money but save you a lot of time to do more important tasks, then consider that. Therefore, you need to evaluate how much time you have and how to best spend it to reach your goals the fastest.

    5.Stress management: Burnout is likely if you tax yourself too much over small issues. Managing your stress is important in order to keep healthy and to make sure that you stay on the path you decided for yourself. Relaxation breathing techniques, hobbies and exercise can help to manage stress.

    6.Handling crisis: Things can always go wrong. Do you have a crisis plan for that? A crisis plan made in advance helps you to handle the panic you face and to make sure that the derailment of the crisis does not take you entirely off your goal. Make sure to anticipate where your plan may fail and make crisis plans for such instances.

    7.Emotional Quotient: Emotional quotient means the ability to understand one’s own and other’s emotions and to use this knowledge to communicate and work harmoniously. Almost all goals will require the help of other people. Up your EQ to know yourself and others’ well enough to maintain good relations with them.

    8.Motivation enhancement: Motivation is pretty high when you have just started out, but can dwindle in the face of failure or stress. Find out what aspects of your goal you really like, and remind yourself of those to push you. Taking breaks and rewarding your strengths and achievements can also help to motivate.

    9.Openness: Your goal may look very different by the time you are able to achieve it. Definitions of success and failure can change. In the face of this, you need to have the flexibility required to be open about one’s goals and to adjust with the times.

    10.Keenness to learn: Lastly, you may need to learn a lot more than you know to achieve your goals, in terms of knowledge, skills and attitudes. Are you prepared to learn? Thinking that you already know enough can make you egoistic and hinder you from achieving your goal.

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    Further reading: 1 2