Loving another human being and feeling the strong connection of love is perhaps the most cherishing aspect of human life. So what do you do when you are not sure whether what you feel is true, long lasting love or just an infatuation?
There are many common aspects to love and infatuation, which can make the distinction confusing. For example, in both love and infatuation, you think about the person a lot, you want to spend time with them, and you feel strongly for them and so on. However, as the old adage says, the biggest test of love is indeed time.
Research suggests that since infatuation is based on passion and not long lasting aspects like sense of commitment, infatuations do not last the test of time. Pretty soon, once the novelty of knowing the person and of the relationship is over, you may have no special feelings for the person. So one step you can take to assess whether it is love or infatuation is to give it some time.
You can also ask yourself a few questions about the relationship, your feelings and your partner. Answers to those questions can also help you decide whether it is love or infatuation. Some of these questions are described below
Do you see a future with your partner?
Do you feel that the relationship would last long enough for it to be permanent? Can you imagine living each day with your partner and sharing your joys and sorrows, your good and bad days, your beautiful and ugly days with them? If not, then it is probably infatuation.
What do you like about your partner?
When you think about the partner, what comes to mind first? Is it their looks, their personality or other superficial elements, or is the connection you have with them, their honesty and their trustworthiness? If it is superficial elements that come to mind when you think about the person then what you feel for them is probably not love.
How do you feel when you think about your partner?
When you think about your partner, or when you are about to meet them, do you think about how you look and whether the person will like the way you look or do you feel that regardless of how I look today, I will have a good time with him/her? If you worry about your appearance too much and don’t think of happiness or commitment when thinking about the partner, then it is probably infatuation.
Can you trust him or her with your secrets?
In love, it is required that you are vulnerable to the other person. Can you tell your partner your secrets honestly and believe that they will not break your trust? If you cannot answer this question with a ‘yes’ with full confidence, it is probably not love.
Relationships always change and develop. What is an infatuation now, may become love later. Let it stand the test of time, and you will get your answer.