• 25 Jan
    Oyindrila Basu

    Sexual Fantasy-A Positive Stirrer

    sexual fantasy

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    Fantasy is something, which is not true, something, which is knitted out of our wool of imagination and creativity to give us pleasure, like the fairy tales of #Cinderella.


    Sexual fantasy or #Erotic fantasy, according to Wikipedia, is also a mental image or thought process created by the mind to give us pleasure and make us more comfortable and adjusted to sex situations.


    Oh! That was boring?

    Well let’s put it this way, that just like the magic wand of the #FairyGodMother, our sexual fantasies bring forth the deep hidden secrets of our mind and help us achieve what we cannot do in actuality.


    Sexual fantasy is more like cooking up a story with the best elements of creativity, which is absolutely private, and can give us pleasure or an escape from the reality.


    It is different from a dream in the sense, that it is a voluntary process and does not signify anything, but adds to your pleasure, which consequentially means mental wellness.


    Fantasies are common in most people, irrespective of males and females.


    Fantasy of a naïve teenager, being romanced by Shahrukh Khan is an example of sexual fantasy. 


    Why only the young, even adults, fantasizing themselves dancing on the beach to “Kaho Na Pyar Hai", with their favourite hero or heroine, is a sexual fantasy that probes them to feel that they are powerful enough to grab the attention of such a powerful and good-looking person.


    Freud claimed that sexual fantasies signify some dysfunction, or unsatisfied sexual desires, but later studies and case analyses have proven that sexual desires can, not only improve bodily response to sexual activities, but also bring about healthy functioning of the body and mind.


    These fantasies are often initiated by our desires and are meant for surpassing the daily mundane boredom of regular life.


    For women, sexual fantasies


    • Can develop strong self-confidence- a woman who does not feel herself fitting to the social standards of a perfect woman figure, or that of a #SexyLady, tends to indulge in sexual fantasies with their dream partner wearing the dream dress, and that gives the potency mental enthusiasm to engage in sex with their actual partners with confidence and forwardness. It makes them feel more attractive and capable of sexual energy.


    • Can quicken orgasm- for better sexual abilities and fulfilment of desire, orgasm plays a very important role. Sexual fantasies can quicken the process, and bring about the orgasmic effect in actuality, which means greater fulfillment of desires.


    • Fantasies can, many a times cover up the physical or emotional shortcomings of a person, which can be a barrier in the way of their reaching the desired satisfaction, as far sexuality is concerned. Fantasies give them the required empowerment, the freedom, the spirit of achievement so that they can pursue it in their real life.


    • It also increases bodily stamina to perform during a sexual activity.


    Sexual fantasies in women always have more emotional connection, while in men, it is more about some physical images of body parts or the like.


    But fantasies can often mitigate the anxiety or conflict within a person about sexuality, which makes them cope with the subject more normally, and prevent any psychic disorders.


    Often a disturbing situation occurs, when a person fantasizes about rape. It has been observed, that 25-40% of women indulge in certain thoughts of the kind. There is nothing wrong in that.


    Rape involves violence and trauma, but sex is involved in the roots of it, so when a woman or man takes on such fantasy, it could be that he/she wants satisfaction in the process of being taken, or being empowered.


    Sexual fantasies are more beyond just #SunnyLeone posters.


    Often fantasizing about something exciting, like a joy ride, or a city tour, or plane hijack, during sexual activities, can bring about adrenaline gush in the body, which develops slowly and reaches its sudden burst of joy and excitement. This kind of imagery can help stimulate the hormones to react actively, so that you derive the best pleasure out of your sexual activity with your partner.


    Good sex is always healthy; it keeps the body and mind in synchronization. It keeps away common cold, blood pressure problems, fatigue, and many more irritating disorders, and fantasies contribute to this well-being.


    So you don’t need to feel shy or ashamed anymore, because you fantasize something or someone. You are not absurd or pervert, as many may try to make you believe.


    It signifies that you have a healthy, sexually active body and a fit mind, and you are self-sufficient in gaining your own pleasure out of your own creativity. 


    Responses 1

  • 24 Jan
    Oyindrila Basu


    chewing gum

    Surprised? Me too.

    Suddenly feeling nostalgic about my school days, when we would love to have those boxes of #Chicklets or #BigBubble, the latter was more interesting, because a balloon often came out of the chewing process.


    But if adults should underestimate its worth, halt! These little bits of chewy, juicy mint gums can create bigger wonders than just blow balloons.


    Recent studies have found out that chewing gum has the capacity to accelerate alertness. Continuous chewing or chomping on something, increases blood flow to the brain, which in turn, helps us to be attentive.


    It produces higher levels of insulin, which stimulates certain areas of the brain which are responsible for #ResponseGeneration.


    A Japanese organization performed a test equally on men and women, where they were to press a button with their right or left finger, as a response, depending on the direction of the arrow, shown on the screen. Half were given chewing gums to chew, and the rest were not. In the 30minutes program, it was observed that the ones who chewed continuously, responded as early as, within 493 milliseconds, while the latter group took 545 milliseconds for the same task.


    Doctors and researchers have also reported that chewing constantly, interferes with short-term memory functioning and makes you more attentive, and consequentially results in better retention of memory.


    So all our mothers from Bengal (even outside that), discard your bottle of #Brainolia and give your child something like #CentreFresh.


    The American Dental Association also declared shortly, that sugar-free chewing gums can actually mend your gums, by treating cavity and builds strong teeth, besides keeping you exempt from bad breath.


    These reports are soon going to boost up the sale of chewing gum, for all brands across the world.


    No longer can the tag “Sanju, daant sadh jayenge”, be applied to chewing gum, yes, chocolates are exceptions, as they do not have the chewable quality.


    However, the bloating stretchable stuff has more miracles in its name.


    #NutritionalNeuroscience added its reports to the already available fact that chewing gum is positive for attention, when they declared that chewing a gum can actually produce impressive effects, while someone is asleep. Chewing gums often sub dues the feeling of hunger in your brain as most of them has a small sugar content, i.e. carbohydrate.


    The act of chewing is rewarding, as it keeps you active, and gives a notion that nutrients are filling your brain and body, which eventually helps one to think more attentively, rather than dissuading the attention to less important things like, food, drink, hunger, etc.


    Chewing gums can also reduce the tendency to take other harmful intoxications like caffeine or nicotine, so people who wish to #QuitSmoking, are often seen relying on chewing gums.


    But never to forget that chewing does have some negative aspects to it as well:


    • Besides alertness, chewing gums can also increase your probability of eating junk food.
    • Constant chewing can cause TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Disorder) in your jaw.
    • It can be responsible for some gastrointestinal problems, as chewing actually means swallowing more air.
    • People having mercury teeth fillings should be very cautious, as chewing may break down this chemical inside the mouth and cause a health hazard.
    • Beware of sugared gums.





    Responses 1

  • 24 Jan
    Oyindrila Basu


    stop bullying


    Bullying is being taken up as a serious issue, in all the governments across the world.


    Though very precise laws are still absent in the official legal statements of most countries, but some measures are definitely being taken for correction of this situation.


    Out of 49 states of US, 5 states are exempted from any prominent law on for stopping bullying, but while 12 states include a criminal sanction for bullies, ranging from school suspension to imprisonment.


    These laws are creating quite a stir in places like Florida, where some of these laws are actually being put to test on two young teens, for stalking and harassing a 12-year-old classmate, but the clause of juvenility might occur as a barrier to justice.


    In India, the Indian Penal Code legislations have not yet been extended to #AntiBullying policies in school or work places due to some technical shortcomings, for e.g. if a student is scolded by a teacher, his/her parents, can misuse the law to file a case of fake harassment. Due to these loopholes, often serious cases of harassment in schools and academic institutions do not come into the notice of law, but for cyber bullying, which is a growing trend these days, India has strict laws to protect individuals against cyber-crime.


    Cyber Laws And Security, a security strategy of the country to protect and ensure safe cyber communication for the public has been established.


    Crimes related to harassment through mail, or inappropriate posts on social networking sites like Facebook or Twitter or identity theft cases through mail transactions are dealt by the #Section66AOfTheInformationTechnologyAct.


    Recently, the Indian Supreme Court passed the verdict that any person caught allotting the name “Chinki” to people from North Eastern region of India, can be immediately detained with police’s guidance. This is an appreciable and progressive reform towards society’s bullying behaviour, for its own members.


    Apart from this, there are several non-governmental organizations which run their independent websites to stop bullying. This is a very much required step. Media is a very significant way of reaching out to masses globally. Anything that is preached via media gain success fast and to effect, immediately.


    National Bullying Prevention Centre, an initiative of PACER, In America, promotes #FightBack stories on bullying. They carry out campaigns online to remove bullying and harassment from its roots.


    is a campaign for PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Centre, inspired by Carrot Top, which calls friends across the world to join in and remove cyber-bullying to the cores.


    #ProjectFootSteps is an online US organization, who leads several programs on social issues and problems and their recent focus is bullying, and they have gathered the youth to follow and work in the 12-week action program which is supposed to work on the development of new strategies for destruction of bullying psychology.


    So our world is changing, they are developing a kind of sensibility towards issues, which have been ignored in the past. It is good to see a global positive change, so let’s #FightBack. Not only India now, the world should be “Saavdhaan”, (cautious) and fight back against bullying together, to eradicate the stigma from society.





    Responses 1

  • 24 Jan
    Oyindrila Basu

    Bullying-Role of society

    couple chatting


    So you see, it’s not that difficult. When we spoke about overcoming your fears in our second article, we mentioned that it all starts with you.


    Once you are able to ascertain yourself, that you won’t take any kind of misdeed from anyone, you can strengthen yourself, and take a step forward towards effacing cowardice.


    When you are done with that, you can protest against any crime or grody actions, happening with or around you.


    But there has to be a proper way. You have to have the courage, as well as the common sense, if you want to deal with these activities.


    #Role of school to stop bullying: 

    Bullying at school(by classmates) can be taken up to the class-teacher first. For that, parents should priorly be aware that their child is being bullied in school regularly. They should talk with their child, if they find he/she is behaving abnormally, or refusing to go to school. Instead of scolding them, try to be patient and know what is going on, what kind of ridicule is he/she facing. Only after that, can you write up officially to the authority. If you find the teacher is not taking any actions, and the bullying doesn’t stop, cheer up your child, and encourage him, go with him to report it to the principal or administrator in general. Do not hesitate, you know you can always reach out to the Education Minister! Well at least you can claim so.


    Role of family to stop bullying: 

    DomesticBullying is a personal context where it is imperative for every member of the family, to understand each other. Instead of fighting for superior roles and priority positions; it is better, each one tries to coexist in harmony. That can come, only when they include some rationality in their thoughts and deal with domestic #TuTuMainMain with sensibility, rather than the collateral competitive spirit (please show it where required :D).


    In the fourth article of the series, we quoted the story of # Barkha Menghani, a subject of #TrainBullying, but she no longer can be called a passive subject. As per the Mumbai Mirror, she stood up against this nasty custom. She tried calling the Government Railway Police Helpline number, when that was not responding, she called up Alok Bohra, the Senior Divisional Security Commissioner of the Railway Protection Force, and her fair luck managed to get her there. The next day, RPF lady constables were sent on the train with Barkha, and when the bullies started the same tricks with them, thinking they were civilians; they were taken as convicts and boarded down the train. Decisions will be taken on their penalty for causing nuisance and disturbance for fellow passengers.


    #KyunkiSaasBhiKabhiBahuThi, please remember this for rectification of your relations, and not bullying. And for the ‘bahus’, please remember in your conducts, there can be another epic soap titled “Kyunki Bahu Bhi Kabhi Saas Banegi”. :D


    #Cyber bullying has various laws against it. If you are receiving any obnoxious texts or mails, immediately take it to the police without hesitation, whether you know or not know the sender. If you are right, no one can damage your reputation, for it is not #AHouseOfCards, which will fall if some #TomDickAndHarry just blows up some foolish comments on you publicly. Take a step before it’s too late. Discuss your problem with your friends and close relations, they can sometimes suggest ideas which you may not have thought earlier.


    ‘saath jut jao, aur ulloo de pathhe ko mazaa chakhaao’ 


    Increase your general knowledge on what are the new rules coming out #AntiBullying.


    If you are a witness or subject to bullying, talk to your neighbours and friends, on relevant cases, if they have witnessed any, to find a suitable solution.


    Read law guides or browse the net, to get the relevant information presiding over your locality, regarding bullying or harassment. Know who are the related people to be communicated in the authority, if you are in need as a citizen of your country.


     When you have the resort of all this, your fear will automatically diminish, because it is a proven fact, that helps or supports something or someone can easily help you to cope with your phobias.

     And if you can find nothing, you know-

    “ewellnessexpert ke haath, janta ke saath



    Responses 1

  • 24 Jan
    Oyindrila Basu




    Bullying can have long term effects on the mental built of a person.

    Being subjugated to harassment, is a feeling of failure, and a victim of such, suffers through a prolonged sense of hopelessness, if not resolved soon.


    Child Bullying

    A child who is facing bullying in school, feels discouraged. These years are the main phases of development of the mind, and such hazardous hindrances in its pathway can have detrimental effects on the mind of the poor child. He/she is terrified, embarrassed, disgusted, annoyed and what is most worrying, is that he /she is frustrated with self.

    A child, being humiliated in school regularly, develops a kind of fear for the institution, consequently refuses to go to school, and study. This can be a serious backlog for him. 

    He/she loses self-confidence, and feels he/she is unworthy of any useful task. Often it takes a long time for the child to overcome this childhood shock, and that affects the mental health and well-being gravely.


    Domestic Bullying

    In the domestic sphere, the newly wedded bride, facing bully from mother-in-law or relatives of the house, feels unaccepted. She develops a negativity for the person, who is bullying her initially, and this leaves a permanent mark in her mind, so late on, she is not willing to adjust with the person/persons, even though the situation has changed.

    In such situations, bullying can be a serious menace, because the new member in the family feels lonely, disrespected, and this opinionates her against the bully, or sometimes may be the whole family. This can be harmful for the new relationship ties, which were meant to be wonderful.


    #AthleticBullying and #CyberBullying are equivalent to crimes which affect the physical growth and the ability of an individual.


    Athletic Bullying

    A sportsman loses interest in his game, or many a times, quits it, in shock of bullying and the public embarrassment caused by it, so the world loses a promising face.


    Cyber Bullying

    Teenagers tend to commit suicide, on being rejected by society, as a result of cyber-crimes, as we have discussed in the case of Sarah Lynn earlier.


    Street Bullying

    Street Bullying or harassment on the streets everyday makes us feel unsafe and insecure. When we find a group of street guys, riding past on bikes, whistling, or throwing some weird comments, we feel unsafe, we feel humiliated, we ask –“are we facing sexual abuse”, even though the comments or words from the freaks are often inaudible, illegible and absurd. They may be often harmless physically, but this kind of bullying creates deep roots of insecurity in the mind of a common girl.


    There has to be a way out, there has to be a solution of this never ending trend of#HumanAgainstHuman.




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