• 04 Oct
    Mandavi Pandey

    Does my Partner have Post-Partum Depression? How Can I Help?

    If you are a partner to a new mother, this could be a question on your mind. You could have noticed some signs and symptoms like lack of joy in her, or she sits staring in space for long and does not show a lot of affection for the baby. You might be confused and scared. The first thing to do before you can help your partner, is to address your fears.

    Firstly, Baby Blues and PPD look similar, so make sure it’s not the former before you panic needlessly.

    Secondly, PPD is common and treatable; you just need to know how. Thirdly, this isn’t anyone’s fault.

    Does my Partner have Post-Partum Depression? How Can I Help?

    Image Source: ibuammar.com

    If it is PPD that you are up against, then involving mental health professionals is required. Talk to your partner’s obstetrician and physician for some primary referrals. Generally, both medication and psychotherapy may be required to work on PPD and improve the relations of the mother with the new-born as well as other people in the family.

    There are many ways you can help the situation.

      They are as follows:

    • Do not ignore PPD. The longer it remains ignored and unaccepted, the longer it can wreck havoc in her life as well as everyone else’s who is connected to her.
    • Support her by helping out at home and with the baby. If it is possible, hire part-time help.
    • Get her treatment, both pharmacological and psychological.
    • Give her supportive messages: That you love her, you understand that she feels terrible, that her emotional problems does not mean she isn’t a good mother, you believe in her, it will get better, and that you are glad that she is trying her best to fix it.
    • If there are people in your social circle who are likely to be supportive, call them over sometimes. If you are unsure or if you feel that they may add to the problem, then reduce contact with them.
    • Do certain tasks together, like bathing the baby or taking the baby out. Especially when caring for the new born together, it sends strong messages of support.
    • Do not tell her that this is what one needs to go through for a child, or it’s just a phase, or she caused it, or any other critical comment of that nature.
    • Be sure to be supportive and encouraging and not expect quick fixes or solutions. Accompany her on doctor/therapist visits.
    • Make sure you are managing your stress well, unwinding and relaxing when you need too. This will make sure you have the energy to handle the multiple demands.

    Above all, you have to give yourself the credit that’s due. If you have reached this page looking for information, you are no doubt willing to do whatever it takes, and you should be happy that you share a bond with her that makes you want to do so. With love and affection, PPD can be overcome.

    Please feel free to ask questions and post comments.

    -eWellness Expert

  • 04 Oct
    Mandavi Pandey

    Baby Blues or Post-Partum Depression?

    Baby Blues and Post-Partum Depression

    Having a child is perhaps one of the greatest joy to humans. Months of hardship, careful living and lifestyle changes followed by the awe-inspiring birthing process, really is a rollercoaster ride for the parents, and they love the child all the more because of it. However, sometimes, the mother may not feel the best after the birth. There are two types of emotion or mood related issues that can occur. One of them is baby blues and the other is post-partum depression. Less commonly, post partum anxiety, OCD or psychosis can occur as well.

     

    Signs and symptoms of baby blues — which last only a few days to a week or two after your baby is born — may include:

    • Mood swings
    • Anxiety
    • Sadness
    • Irritability
    • Feeling overwhelmed
    • Crying
    • Reduced concentration
    • Appetite problems
    • Trouble sleeping

    Post-partum depression, on the other hand, lasts much longer and is much more severe. Starting from the time of birth it can last to even 6 months after the birth. Untreated, it may prevail for longer, and interfere with the mother’s care-taking abilities and attachment with the infant.

    Post-partum depression symptoms may include:

    • Depressed mood or severe mood swings
    • Excessive crying
    • Difficulty bonding with your baby
    • Withdrawing from family and friends
    • Loss of appetite or eating much more than usual
    • Inability to sleep (insomnia) or sleeping too much
    • Overwhelming fatigue or loss of energy
    • Reduced interest and pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
    • Intense irritability and anger
    • Fear that you're not a good mother
    • Feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt or inadequacy
    • Diminished ability to think clearly, concentrate or make decisions
    • Severe anxiety and panic attacks
    • Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
    • Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide

    Post-partum psychosis/OCD and anxiety are rare but may occur nonetheless. The signs are as follows:

    • State of agitation or anxiety
    • Confusion and disorientation
    • Obsessive thoughts about your baby
    • Hallucinations and delusions
    • Sleep disturbances
    • Paranoia
    • Attempts to harm yourself or your baby

    Postpartum psychosis may lead to life-threatening thoughts or behaviors and requires immediate treatment.

     The good news is that of these conditions are treatable. Please contact a registered mental health professional at the earliest in order to get the relevant help.

     You can read our other articles on what causes these conditions, what are certain genetic and environment risk-factors, what the effects of these conditions are and how to get help and get better. These articles will help you stay informed and take the right decision at the earliest.

    If you are having suicidal thoughts, have attempted to harm yourself or the baby, it is advised that you talk to a supportive friend or a loved one and get yourself admitted to a hospital for observation and emergency care.

    Please feel free to ask questions and post comments.

    -eWellness Expert

    Image source

  • 04 Oct
    Mandavi Pandey

    Post-Partum Depression: Risk Factors and Causes

    As a brief introduction to the symptoms of post-partum depression and other mood issues related to the birth process in this article (link to first article) indicates, these issues can have debilitating effects on the new mother. Studies show that 1 out 10 new mothers in the US has PPD and many more are at

    risk.

    Understanding Post-Partum Depression: Risk Factors and Causes

     

    Along with the mother, the father or second parent can also get affected because PPD and mood patterns associated with it can put a strain on the relationship, cause communication problems, fights and lead to worry for the second parent. It may also increase their stress as they may have to care for the new mother, the baby, any other children in the family, as well as tend to household and work duties. Children of women with untreated PPD can exhibit ADHD, ADD and apathy, to name a few issues. They are also likely to have an insecure attachment style which is associated with emotional, social and academic problems in children.

    Therefore, it is of utmost important to understand the risk factors and causes of PPD to know if you need to seek help in dealing with it. Causation has been largely attributed to hormonal processes that happen in the body during pregnancy and delivery. Since hormones are intricately connected to emotions, sometimes, the strain of pregnancy and birth can wreck havoc with mood. The actual delivery can be a painful process and can act as a trigger too.

    Postpartum depression can develop after the birth of any child, not just the first. The risk increases if:

    • You have a history of depression, either during pregnancy or at other times
    • You have bipolar disorder
    • You had postpartum depression after a previous pregnancy
    • You have family members who've had depression or other mood stability problems
    • You've experienced stressful events during the past year, such as pregnancy complications, illness or job loss
    • Your baby has health problems or other special needs
    • You have difficulty breast-feeding
    • You're having problems in your relationship with your spouse or significant other
    • You have a weak support system
    • You have financial problems
    • The pregnancy was unplanned or unwanted

    It is important to address this immediately, because PPD can develop into anxiety, psychosis or major depressive disorder. Do not wait if you have even a mild sensation of mood disturbance, combined with a couple of risk factors. It is imperative not to leave PPD untreated. It can ruin relationships and affect the growth of the new-born.

    If you are a partner for a mother with PPD, love and comfort, and not giving up are important. You need to understand that this is not the true mother, but the mother under the hold of a crippling emotional issue. Urge them to get therapy and medication. Make sure that you also get support and care and are not overburdened.

    Get help from a professional mental health specialist at the earliest.

    Please feel free to ask questions and post comments.

    -eWellness Expert

     

  • 17 Jan
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    Namo, BigB, SRK: why do they get highest followers on social media?

    namo, big b, srk

    Many celebrities have a lot of fan following on twitter, however, Narendra Modi or Namo, Amitabh Bachchan or Big B and Shahrukh Khan or SRK perhaps have more loyal and bigger fan following than the rest. Are there certain aspects of personality that attract us to celebs and non-celebs alike?

    Years and years of personality research has revealed certain personality characteristics that are seen across cultures.

    This is called the Big-five model and comprises of five main traits:

    1. Openness to Experience
    2. Conscientiousness
    3. Extraversion
    4. Agreeableness
    5. Neuroticism

    Generally, it is agreed that a pleasing and functional personality should not be very high on neuroticism (anxious/worrisome), but about the other traits, it depends on culture. For example, introversion (less extroversion) is looked down upon in collectivistic cultures like China.

    Openness to Experience and Agreeableness have been found to have an important impact on work life. The reason is that these traits are important for growth: negotiating skill and the willingness to learn. Similarly, two traits that have been found very important for social life are extraversion and conscientiousness.

    Extraversion means that the person enjoys and thrives in social situations. He or she seeks pleasure in the company of people, always keeps in touch, can make good conversation, and people find him or her fun to be with.

    Conscientiousness is the willingness to do the morally right thing. This means that the person thinks and wants to do right, and can also commit to doing right in front of people/verbally.

    As a society, Indians really value the two traits above, and if we see, these are also the traits found in a lot of our Gods, holy men and mythical figures. Considering that Namo, Big B and SRK are considered to be on some high pedestal, we want them to have these time-tested traits of extraversion and conscientiousness. And as we can see, they do have these traits.

    Three of them are extremely social and very quick and smart with their words, and media persons are found to quote them often. They are liked by almost everyone. They are found in many interaction events and special occasions. Secondly, we have also seen them voice the proper and just opinion on may social issues. This helps to increase their worth in our eyes and we uphold them as celebrities who have a conscience and are not mindless spenders of money.

    We easily believe when they voice these opinions because we know that they come from humble backgrounds. Therefore, we see them as hardworking and not likely to be cheating and morally wrong. This makes it also difficult for people to hate them, even those who do not like their Profession.

    References:1 2 3 4

    Image source

  • 17 Jan
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    Preparing your son for puberty

    son puberty

     

    Whereas the movement of a girl into puberty would be continuous and smooth, for a boy, it is more in spurts, and so in between these spurts it may be easy to miss out that they too are going through changes. Inform yourself first as it is important to understand the range of things that happen, before you talk to your son.

    After that, the following points need to be looked at:

    Bodily changes: First and foremost are the changes that you need to talk about. Inform them that their voice might break as they grow an adult male voice, about facial hair and shaving, as well as secondary sexual characteristics like pubic hair. Tell them that the hormonal changes that lead to all this will also make them more volatile in mood make them see girls differently and may lead to instant liking and disliking of people and things. Tell them to not act on impulses as far as possible.

    Increase in aggression: As testosterone levels change in the body to help out make the necessary changes for the boy to become a man, it may also need to aggressive tendencies. First tell yourself and then your son that this is normal. If you expect it and normalize, it is easier to handle. Expect some anger, some rage. Make sure you keep talking to your son in an understanding manner so they don’t feel bottled up. Further, direct the aggression towards constructive activities like sports to ease it out.

    Hygiene and care: You need to tell them how to clean up after a wet dream as well as the importance of maintaining general hygiene in the private parts, including shaving regularly. Masturbation is a healthy and good release, but needs to be hygienic. Help them with information, privacy and an understanding attitude at this point.

    Exchange of adult material: At this age, boys tend to exchange pornographic material. This is overhyped and unrealistic and can misinform them about sex. Tell them that this will happen and if they want actual information about the sexual act, it is better to see proper information sources. Do not deny this information to them as they are naturally curious and its better they satisfy the curiosity with the right information than the wrong one. At the same time, talk to them about waiting to grow up before they act on any of this information. Coming from a person who wants them to know the right things, they will listen to you when you ask them to wait.

    Peer pressure for certain activities: There might be peer pressure to try out smoking, drinking, drugs, late nights and reckless activity. Tell them beforehand that other boys may pressurize them into this, but not to fall in the trap as this will derail them from their life goals. Tell them they can have healthy fun like music concerts and going out to eat but not beyond that. Be a friend to them and empathize with them and they will surely listen to you.

     

    Read more:

    Preparing your daughter for puberty

    References:1 2 3

    Image source

     

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