• 27 Jan
    Oyindrila Basu

    Positivity and its contagiousness

    positivity is contagious

    In our article on yawning, we have already discussed how emotions and energy can be contagious and be transferred from one person to another in the same group.

    It also evokes similar kinds of reactions among individuals, because contagious emotions are transmitted, like yawning was a contagious habit, whose reaction was yawn.

    ‘Positivity’ is a kind of energy. Merriam Webster defines positivity as a quality or state of being positive.

    Positivity is a state of goodness, a state of affirmation, anything which has the answer yes to it.

    Words like yes, good, light, open, expert, agree, accept, are positive words, and they carry a sense of affirmation in them, that propels you forward, towards an action and does not draw you back with hindrance.

    So they preach positivity, and you have a nice feeling whenever these words are used.

    Positivity, within you makes you hopeful, and feel mentally healthy.

    In simple words, comedies like “Zindagi abhi baki hai mere ghost” gives you a positive spirit and feel good factor, while #Splitsvilla definitely gives you a bad impression, negative ideas about relationships and commitment, however, you love to watch them and get entertained, but why so? Because the negativity is also a contagious energy, and one or two episodes are enough to transmit it within you, and then you get addicted to it :/

    Have you ever thought, why you feel like hitting the face of Mogambo, every time you watch “Mr. India”, but you still watch it several times to hear the dialogue “Mogambo khush Huya”, (no wonder, the film and the character has become so popular). Actually what happens is, we get too involved with the plot of the movie or show, and start feeling what the hero or heroine might be feeling due to the villain, i.e. negativity, this is the contagious nature of emotions and energy.

    Likewise, ‘positivity’ is contagious too, hopefully knowing that will make you feel positive 

    The triumph of #KabirTeam in “Chakde India”, makes you feel triumphant too, and you just feel the lack of a national flag badly. Is it because you are overtly patriotic? :/ well, maybe not, the positive spirit, the win-win situation of the #Hero (the word itself carries positivity), intertwines with your actual being, and you feel like a winner hero too, such is the power of these contagious emotions.


    Positivity gives you strength. It helps you to cope with gruesome experiences with a strong face. Being with positive people and sharing positive talks makes you feel happy, because this spirit is conveyed to you too, and you start reacting the same way. For e.g. if you are going through a very bad time in life, say your family member is getting treated in the hospital, or you have had a bad breakup, even the worst of such incidences can be healed if you speak to a person who says “don’t worry, things will be fine; it happens”, or may be, if you watch a positive movie like “Jab We Met”, or “Golmaal” (the Utpal Dutt one, of course) it gives you a momentary relief from your pains and sorrows. The positivity of the movies charges you up, gives you strength to fight your difficulties with a brave face.


    Good music does the same work.


    But if you start watching a movie, of crime and violence, rape or abduction, even when you are in a good mood, it passes the negativity to you, and you suddenly start feeling anxious, that truly, the city is getting unsafe, and the crime rate has just surpassed all limits, and for the next few days, you look around 10 times when you walk the streets.

    The same impact is that movies like “RAAZ” or “ALONE”, you know there is no ghost in your bathroom that looks like Bipasha Basu, but you fear their existence, so avoid going to the washroom. :P

    I may be sounding like #Nonster, but what I mean is, how can we imbibe this positivity within us, which can drive off all negative energies, and keep us healthy?


    Start talking with friends and family who do not sympathize with your problems, but actually gives you words of support and strength to deal with those.


    Try avoiding people who carry negative energies. Often people indulging in PNPC, and complaints bring negativity with them, and pass it down to you. avoid such discussions. Brush off negative thoughts, with good conversations, about books, music, stories, films, awards.

    If something is bothering you too much, talk it out with your partner or friend, well I mean sharing negativity can reduce it to half, so that the best energies from both sides will double its existence for both.


    Talking will make you feel better, when the other person will understand you and try to comfort you with spirited words which you like, that will in turn make you feel positive.

    Your listener may also share his/her own experience, which will give you a positive boost that you are not alone in this situation.


    So smile and #BPositive, as Anil Kapoor said, but unlike him, do not just carry it as your blood group, but spread it across the world, among everyone you know, this will help to transmit positivity within a huge mass. J


  • 27 Jan
    Oyindrila Basu

    Teacher can be your best counselor



    “When I was in 10th standard, I was once revising my maths lesson for the exam in the next period, but in the sick room.

    The sick-room matron (a very dear lady), she took away my notebook, saying that studying should be done in class and not in the sickroom.

    In the next period, I went back to my maths class, and when my maths teacher asked for the notebook, I just said that matron had my notebook, so I should go and take it back.. maths teacher allowed without any further question.

    Later, she called me and charged me of lying to her, the fact that I did not admit my folly, and just put it as if it was the patron’s fault was just not right.

    She said that she, afterward spoke with the matron and found out that I was reading in the sick-room(which was not allowed) so she had taken my book away, and that I was extremely wrong in framing the sentence as per my convenience, so I should go and say sorry to the matron…. I broke into tears, because, I had not realized that hiding the incident was actually wrong; I had thought that it was not important or significant, but my teacher guided me through the process of this realization.” Anonymous.

    This is how teachers often educate us with several values which later help in our mental growth and development. The teacher could have just left the matter, or just punished the child outside class for 15mins, but that would never make her realize where she was wrong.

    This is how the role of a teacher transforms into a counsellor.

    Gone are the days, when counselling in a general social structure, was applied necessary for so-called eccentric people.

    Counselling in schools or educational institutions was a myth. Students will require counselling! Why? What problems do they have? In actuality, students only learnt from books and followed what was taught to them by parents.

    But in recent times, children are turning smarter, they are being exposed to complexities of situation, and in relation to that, their own problems are getting more complex.

    In an academic structure, earlier, counsellors were there only to give and receive forms at the back office. However, today they are an important segment of the body.

    Children need to be guided when it comes to what is good for them regarding their education. Which field of learning is suitable for them, and can give them better scope are discussed by the counsellor. Now these discussions are no longer generic. Each child is special, each have a different skill and competency in a unique field. It is the job of a counsellor to recognize this skill in them and boost them to pursue it further so that they can excel in the specific field.

    Besides, a psychological counsellor is also responsible for solving the problems of a child, which is disturbing him, or he needs to get rid of, so that, he can better accustom himself to his situations, and develop his mental strength and knowledge.

    Now if we observe closely, a teacher is a person, who can be an educator, a counsellor as well as a psychotherapist for a child.

    The role of a teacher as a counsellor, is a critical one. This idea dates back to the times of Socrates, so we often find in the writings of Plato, where Socrates behaves as counsellor for his students and followers.

    We know, that books cannot provide the entire knowledge, but institutions feel that teachers should teach, and professionally skilled personnel should be hired for work like student counselling. Actually, many teachers themselves fail to realize the essence of counselling; they fail to realize that in their words of wisdom, they are actually counselling the students.

    Counselling is not treating a mad man; it is about mental wellness as a whole.

    Teachers can be the best counsellor. No-one knows a student better than his own teacher, and what he is capable of. To be a good counsellor, a person should be a good friend to the student, and no-one can play the role better, but a teacher (if they want).

    The format of education is changing, so is the graph of teacher-student relationship. No longer we find teachers trying to make ‘murga’ of their students with a wooden ruler. Infact courses on education technology, train the teachers to be friendly with the students, so that they can share can confide things with their teachers, which they are unable to discuss with their parents.

    When this inter-personal relationship is developed, the teacher can guide the student with the idea of knowledge of right and wrong, what he should do, and what he should not, in a positive manner, where the child won’t feel that he is being lectured or humiliated.

    Many teenage problems like sudden crush affairs, or Internet hazards faced by students, can be easily solved by their teacher, if they confide them to him/her. The teacher can identify the source of the problem, empathize with them, and guide them with awareness and ideas, as to how they can deal with the nuisance.


    #PersonSpecificAttention is important requisite for a counsellor.

    Most teachers know their students’ academic qualities, especially; in a class, the class-teacher knows every single student well.

    So the teacher can best say, what subject should be pursued by the child in the future, which activities should be avoided by them and which activities can add to their mental health.

    The teacher should be the primordial force to guide and boost up the child for growing towards the achievement of excellence, in the subject that he most is proficient in; it can also be a co-curricular activity. If a student is not so good in maths, but great at sports, it is the duty of the teacher to identify that, and push him towards it. It is also his/her duty to make the parents understand that their child will shine out if he pursues his ambition, but will remain mediocre if he is forced into a general subject which the society calls him to do, for quicker job opportunities.

  • 27 Jan
    Oyindrila Basu

    6 Ways to Improve Your Charisma

    charismatic personality

    You often must have heard people saying, “that guy has charisma," or “he has a charismatic personality."

    This means that ‘charisma’ is a personality trait of a person, which is impressive upon others.

    The X-factor which distinguishes a person from the crowd is charisma.

    Often we have seen, that a well-qualified person is not selected in an interview, but a lesser academically accomplished person, gets the job. We heard others saying, “the guy knew his lines; he gave the interview smartly”.

    Now what is this smartness?

    Basically, it is not about smartness, but it about an impressive personality trait, which captures the attention of everybody; he comes across.


    This charisma needs to be developed for gaining quick success.


    Especially, this is true for celebrities. Bollywood and cricket have several such examples where we can see the person may not be talented enough, but becomes popular, because of great fashion sense or #PlayboyImage, which means that these are the X-factors which #PlaysElves for them, and adds the charisma or extra charm required to impress others.


    Grooming sessions are conducted by specialists to help develop charismatic personality within individuals, but I am approaching towards a free class for everyone today :)


    “Psychologists from The University of Manchester and London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE) also showed that small positive personality changes may lead to greater increases in happiness than earning more money, marrying, or gaining employment.” These changes may be termed as ‘Social Indicators.'


    Personality is a psychological parameter which is defined by the way you think, feel and behave. Besides your cognitive abilities, it embodies the reaction your give out of your opinions.


    However, to develop the charisma within you, proceed stepwise:


    1. Identify your backlogs- Different people have different shortcomings. Some may have short eyesight; some may have some phobias; some may have speech problems. You need to identify your shortcoming, and acknowledge it, before going for treatment.


    2. Treat your basic problem- Once you realize that your problem lies with your stammering (just an example), go for its treatment from a specialist doctor. Treat your physical challenge first, do not hesitate, meet a doctor, or specialist who can suggest medicines and therapies to cure your problem.


    3. Make your weakness your strength- Sometimes physical shortcomings are genetically transmitted, or they are permanent and cannot be cured. Do not be depressed. Use your weakness to be your strength and add that X-factor to yourself. If you have a weak eye-sight, why use glasses! Instead feel yourself fortunate that you are being able to wear coloured eyes (how about, a different colour everyday!) I mean, try custom lenses, which will increase the depth of your eyes and give an individual gravity to your personality. Or even glasses are trendy if they are from #TitanEyePlus 

    Or if you have a speech problem, use your stammering intermittently, between conversations to give a comic relief, people would be amused and entertained, eventually more attracted towards you. Remember, how “I love you…kkkkkkkk…..Kiran” became famous among the masses, and is even practised till date to express the dismay of profound lovers.


    4. Grow your confidence- Talent should always be backed up with confidence, and the self-esteem, that ‘I can do it’. Confidence can come from within yourself or by boost from others near you. whatever you do, should reflect the positive belief of your mind, and your listener will also be able to feel this positive confidence within you (as we discussed earlier that energy is contagious), and will feel confident about you, with some work.


    5. Increase your general awareness- Awareness is an important factor for developing the confidence within you. just imagine, you are walking on a known roadway, and then on an unknown roadway, where will you feel more comfortable? Similarly, have a notion about new things happening around you, that will give you a self-confidence to portray yourself as against the rest. Talent without confidence often go waste, even though you may not have any physical backlog, but it is psychological setback indeed. I sing well, but I feel panicked on stage…the audience will not be able to connect with me.


    6. Improve your body language- While socially presenting yourself, you should know some dos and don’ts. Your gestures are important for impressing others. Your parts of speech, use of signs, moves can be very significant. Saying a sorry for colliding with someone on the streets won’t make you small, though it is absolutely not a practice in India, but make it one, and you will see the difference in how people react to you.


    During a performance, use your body movements positively, to keep your audience captivated.


    Besides everything, psychological comfort, and mental well-being are very much responsible for bringing about a positive change in your personality. So be happy, motivated, go through some physical and mind grooming sessions (e.g. go for gym, yoga or take a spa), cultivate yourself, and you will soon add that ‘charisma’ to your personality.

  • 25 Jan
    Oyindrila Basu

    A Funny Mouth Yawning And Its Contagious Effects

    Yawning is contagious


    “I was in the second period of philosophy honours class, and a stretch of double schedule is just not funny, but the lack of it was compensated, when a piece of chalk just hit my soft, red tongue and the whole class burst into laughter….ha ha ha ha ha….. Dear God!, is this Your justice! Why You had to give Mrs. Chaddhha such strong eyesight!!! Why? Why? #TheNationWantsToKnow! Am I supposed to be punished so brutally for doing an action, on which I have no control? Imagine! I yawned, and that Chadhha just aimed her chalk into my mouth!!! That too in front of the whole class!!! Gosh, “Dharti phat jaye, aur main usme samaa jaoon”. But what could I possibly do, when I just could not find a single logic for why the #BlackCrow should fly next L…..”

    Ha ha ha….This is a general scenario in most classrooms, where some or the other students are quite often found yawning, and the teacher gets vicious towards the poor fellows with the blame, that they have not been attentive, or they were ignoring the lecture.

    However, yawning is mostly a reflex protocol of the body, in which our voluntary will has very little to perform.

    Generally, we yawn, when we are fatigued or bored. Scientists sometimes associate it to the lack of enough oxygen in the lungs, a theory which cannot be negated completely, because shallow breathing can be a causative, but yawning can actually occur due to various factors.

    Excessive yawning can be caused by

    • General tiredness
    • Sleep apnea or other sleep disorders like prolonged sleeping during the day.
    • Any side effects of medications
    • Vasovagal infections (which may also sometimes be the cause of heart attacks)
    • Or just because you are having a blockage at the back of your nose, which is not letting you breathe. 

    Yawning does seem to increase with boredom, which was proved by a study in 1986, where college students yawned more, when shown a pattern of colours, than when shown a 30minute rock video.

    Now yawning can have some serious effects on our regular social interactions.

    Drooping or yawning when someone is speaking is bad manners, that is kind of a signal, that you are just not interested.

    Yawning in class can prove heavy on your shoulders, or uhhm! Sometimes your tongue, as you have seen in the above story.

    In your workplace, yawning can sometimes take off your focus from some serious discussions, and that can affect your performance at work. If not anything yawning in between a meeting, is too disrespectful and can put a bad mark of you as an employee.

    So it is not only #MrBean who yawns, to be mocked, but it can be you too. (‘wink’)

    Just last day, a girl was yawning at the bus stand when the whole queue was rushing towards the 9 a.m. bus, shouting “rokoooooo”, after almost a one-hour wait, so you can imagine, how angry the mob would be, and this lazy little girl almost fell on her heels by the force, because she was not attentive and was yawning. But luckily that didn’t happen; on the contrary, she was pushed towards the bus by the crowd, and she realized, she had not missed it. “Jai Hind Mumbai”, that is the speciality of the city.

    Anyway, so now we know, that yawning can cause serious road accidents or sometimes even make you miss the bus to your school, in a city like Mumbai, Delhi or Bangalore! Uh now that is something to be worried really.

    But yawning is somewhat a #ContagiousSyndrome. When one yawns, the other infront of him also yawns, as a matter of practice. A general study showed, that when yawning videos were displayed to a crowd, 50% of the audience started yawning too. This characteristic is also true for animals like chimpanzees and dogs.


    Yawning can be more contagious among best friends.

    Many a time, just hearing or reading about yawning can make you yawn. Like many other emotional reactions, like laughter, yawning also has its own contagious effects. The possible reason could be that strong emotional reactions can sometimes synchronize too quickly between brains of one person and another, in close vicinity. So no wonder, that #HuffPostScience reports, that the more you are closer to someone, emotionally or genetically, the more you tend to catch the yawn, initiated by them.


    Here are a few funny facts about yawning:

    • Fetus, as young as that of 11 weeks after conception, knows the mechanism of yawning.
    • Average #YawnPeriod is 6 seconds, at a time, and heart rate seems to increase viscously during this time.
    • Males have longer yawns than females.
    • Hippopotamus has the biggest yawn in the world.
    • Tasmanian devil always tends to yawn at his tormentor.

    Now if you have started yawning, with your wide mouth; I should stop my “gyaan mantra”, but a few things should be kept in mind:

    Yawn caused by sleep disorders can be repelled with continuous positive airway pressure machine, during sleep.

    Consult your doctor, to know whether this excessive yawning is being caused due to some medication effect.

    Practice some regular cardio exercises like jogging or cycling to absorb more oxygen into the lungs to avoid shallow breathing.

    A normal healthy lifestyle with nutritious diet, often keep these problems away. Alternatively, you can also try out Tendulkar’s dose as #BoostIsTheSecretOfOurEnergy. 

  • 25 Jan
    Oyindrila Basu

    Sexual Fantasy-A Positive Stirrer

    sexual fantasy

    Designed by Freepik


    Fantasy is something, which is not true, something, which is knitted out of our wool of imagination and creativity to give us pleasure, like the fairy tales of #Cinderella.


    Sexual fantasy or #Erotic fantasy, according to Wikipedia, is also a mental image or thought process created by the mind to give us pleasure and make us more comfortable and adjusted to sex situations.


    Oh! That was boring?

    Well let’s put it this way, that just like the magic wand of the #FairyGodMother, our sexual fantasies bring forth the deep hidden secrets of our mind and help us achieve what we cannot do in actuality.


    Sexual fantasy is more like cooking up a story with the best elements of creativity, which is absolutely private, and can give us pleasure or an escape from the reality.


    It is different from a dream in the sense, that it is a voluntary process and does not signify anything, but adds to your pleasure, which consequentially means mental wellness.


    Fantasies are common in most people, irrespective of males and females.


    Fantasy of a naïve teenager, being romanced by Shahrukh Khan is an example of sexual fantasy. 


    Why only the young, even adults, fantasizing themselves dancing on the beach to “Kaho Na Pyar Hai", with their favourite hero or heroine, is a sexual fantasy that probes them to feel that they are powerful enough to grab the attention of such a powerful and good-looking person.


    Freud claimed that sexual fantasies signify some dysfunction, or unsatisfied sexual desires, but later studies and case analyses have proven that sexual desires can, not only improve bodily response to sexual activities, but also bring about healthy functioning of the body and mind.


    These fantasies are often initiated by our desires and are meant for surpassing the daily mundane boredom of regular life.


    For women, sexual fantasies


    • Can develop strong self-confidence- a woman who does not feel herself fitting to the social standards of a perfect woman figure, or that of a #SexyLady, tends to indulge in sexual fantasies with their dream partner wearing the dream dress, and that gives the potency mental enthusiasm to engage in sex with their actual partners with confidence and forwardness. It makes them feel more attractive and capable of sexual energy.


    • Can quicken orgasm- for better sexual abilities and fulfilment of desire, orgasm plays a very important role. Sexual fantasies can quicken the process, and bring about the orgasmic effect in actuality, which means greater fulfillment of desires.


    • Fantasies can, many a times cover up the physical or emotional shortcomings of a person, which can be a barrier in the way of their reaching the desired satisfaction, as far sexuality is concerned. Fantasies give them the required empowerment, the freedom, the spirit of achievement so that they can pursue it in their real life.


    • It also increases bodily stamina to perform during a sexual activity.


    Sexual fantasies in women always have more emotional connection, while in men, it is more about some physical images of body parts or the like.


    But fantasies can often mitigate the anxiety or conflict within a person about sexuality, which makes them cope with the subject more normally, and prevent any psychic disorders.


    Often a disturbing situation occurs, when a person fantasizes about rape. It has been observed, that 25-40% of women indulge in certain thoughts of the kind. There is nothing wrong in that.


    Rape involves violence and trauma, but sex is involved in the roots of it, so when a woman or man takes on such fantasy, it could be that he/she wants satisfaction in the process of being taken, or being empowered.


    Sexual fantasies are more beyond just #SunnyLeone posters.


    Often fantasizing about something exciting, like a joy ride, or a city tour, or plane hijack, during sexual activities, can bring about adrenaline gush in the body, which develops slowly and reaches its sudden burst of joy and excitement. This kind of imagery can help stimulate the hormones to react actively, so that you derive the best pleasure out of your sexual activity with your partner.


    Good sex is always healthy; it keeps the body and mind in synchronization. It keeps away common cold, blood pressure problems, fatigue, and many more irritating disorders, and fantasies contribute to this well-being.


    So you don’t need to feel shy or ashamed anymore, because you fantasize something or someone. You are not absurd or pervert, as many may try to make you believe.


    It signifies that you have a healthy, sexually active body and a fit mind, and you are self-sufficient in gaining your own pleasure out of your own creativity. 


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