24 Aug
Oyindrila Basu

Don't let depression affect your sex life.

depression and sex

Depression is a common illness these days, due to over stressed lifestyle, cultural imbalance and relationship issues.

We all want to be achievers, however, time doesn’t move uniformly all the time, and hence we get pressurized with expectations from self and society, which is of no good, but puts people into depression.

Depression affects us physically and it is followed with different symptoms, one of which is drastic impact on sexual drive and overall sex life. In simple words, when you are depressed, you are less likely to get aroused or enjoy your sex life with your partner.


The reasons are numerous.

Our brain is associated with every sensation that we feel; every movement or touch triggers a signal which is received by the brain for arousal of further feelings and sensations.

Depression weakens our sensory and motor responses; most of the time, a person is depression, feels gloomy, lazy and tired, and hence their brain is not able to process the triggers of sexual touch properly, which means disinterest in sex.

Sometimes, certain medicines of depression can also reduce your sexual urge.


Depression and relationship:

This can negatively impact relationships, because when you do not respond positively to the advances of your partner, it often hurts the self-respect of the other and lowers confidence in your partner; he/she feels you are dissatisfied with their way of love making, or you just don’t like him/her anymore. Partners usually take such signals of denial very personally.

According to the NIMH, a higher rate of depression in women is connected to hormonal changes. This is why a woman’s risk of depression may increase:

  • before and during menstruation
  • after childbirth
  • when juggling work, home, and family life
  • during perimenopause and menopause.

Well it is not that men are not in depression; in fact, depressed men suffer from low self-esteem which can be the cause of erectile dysfunction which affects their sexuality.


So how can you draw a balance between the mind and your body, so that depression cannot affect your personal relationships?

Treating depression is very important so that you can nip the problem in the bud.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)- For those who are suffering from milder depression symptoms, can be cured from it, with this therapy. This is a process of counselling which fights with your negative thoughts and aims at transforming them into positive.


Change your medicine: If your depression medicine is affecting your sexuality, do not stop your treatment; that is wrong; you need to speak to your doctor, so that he/she can alter the medicine for you.

SSRIs come with many sexual side effects, and often are known for discouraging you into sexual desire, however, medicines like Bupropion (Wellbutrin) have lesser such side effects. In fact, as per the intensity of your problem, you can also resort to natural remedies for depression with an expert’s help, that way the chances of side effects will be removed.


Communicate with your partner: sex is also a form of communication between partners, if depression is silencing that voice, you need to speak more with your tongue; share your thoughts with your partner, often sharing, will reduce the negativity within you, and will make you feel much better in depression.

Your partner will also get a chance to understand you better and he/she will still feel that he/she is important to you.


Do not stop your amorous actions: We often feel better in sadness, when someone holds our hands, hugs us and makes us feel comfortable. Indulge into lovey-dovey actions, like holding hands of your partner, hugging kissing etc. which will take your relationship a long way, even if your sex life is on a break due to depression.

This way, none of you partners will feel deprived or detached from the other.


Responses 1

  • victor de
    victor de   Sep 05, 2016 03:23 PM

    Yes, that's true, that depression harms our relationship also, and sadest crypart is no body can understand the feeling of depressed person, and how to react. 

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