Can love happen at first sight?

Can love happen at first sight?

Can love happen at first sight? This is a complicated question, one that many a writer, singer, poet and philosopher have asked. With the advent of science and technology, we have investigated love in laboratories, studying the chemicals, the emotions and the behaviour. This has armed us with the knowledge to answer this question.

 

Firstly, the arguments against love at first sight: one argument is that it is based on looks and not characteristics,

and the second is that not enough time has been spent with the person to know them well enough. As can be seem, both these points are also somewhat connected.

Logically, these arguments seem valid. That when you first see someone,

it is probably how they look that attracts you. You have no idea whether their personality and yours match. There are many people who can give anecdotal evidence from their lives that they indeed did not have a good relationship with the people whom they fell in love with at first sight.

They feel that perhaps not acting on impulse and spending time with the partner would have helped them make a better choice.

 However, the assumption here is that time, or knowing the person makes a difference to the level of love that one feels.

But that is not true. When we love someone, at first sight or not, we are usually very reluctant to accept their faults and see them in a sort of hallow. So love does make us immune to the faults of other people. However, it does this regardless of whether it was love at first sight or not.

Secondly, there are two concepts that are often confused: length or longevity of a loving relationship, and the intensity of the love.

Love at first sight is all about the intensity, whereas love over the years is about the length of loving relationship. However, these two concepts are not neatly separated and one builds into the other.

Just because it is love at first sight and may not last very long, does not mean the validity or the intensity of that love needs to be doubted. Similarly, it does not mean that a long relationship has for sure become boring has no intensity left.

Therefore, in the light of these findings, we can say that we are not entirely sure why we get attracted to one person only, when there may be many more good looking people around.

If the looks are behaviour of that person in the span of minutes does indeed inform us well (as is tested in speed-dating competitions), then the question is not whether love can happen at first sight, but how to make that love last?

Often, regardless of a slowly developed relationship or love at first sight, people often lose track of their partner. They do not care or communicate like they used to and that leads to falling apart. So apart from just falling in love, we also need to learn how to be in love.

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