15 Jan
Shiva Raman Pandey

Therapist is neither a magician nor God


There are many misconceptions about therapy and counselling, which lead to the therapist being seen as an exceptional magical figure. These high expectations are bad because they give the untrained and nonprofessional counsellor to be inefficient and not answer any questions by the client, at the same time claiming hefty fees for inadequate services. What this notion also does is that it makes the clients inactive in therapy as they expect solution and respite to come from the counsellor.

Therapy is a collaborative process:

Client is expected to be equally involved and regularly giving feedback. When the clients feel that the therapist is some God figure or a magician, they take the therapist’s suggestion as foolproof advice when has to followed at any cost. Therefore, there is no discussion and elaboration and therefore, therapy gradually becomes one-sided and redundant.


Therapy means real interchange of ideas and feeling:

As a person evolves within therapy, his thoughts and feelings undergo a change. If he thinks of the therapist as God and is too awed by him to disclose any of his ‘imperfect’ feelings and therefore, the whole interaction can start to be fake. The client is just nodding yes to all of the therapist’s advice and suggestions, therefore, no real interchange of ideas and feelings can happen.


Discuss together the best possible route to a solution:

Similarly, just by talking to the therapist, all the problems will not disappear. They have unique listening skills which can make you feel really heard and light-hearted, but that does not mean that there is nothing that you won’t need to do. Talking about the problem is just the starting point. You will have to discuss the best possible route to a solution, try to implement it and then discuss the roadblocks that you face.


Trust is needed for real theapy:

Thinking of the therapist as all-knowing and way too superior to you means that you cannot really have a true trusting therapeutic relationship with the therapist. This hampers any real progress, because unless the power is equal, misgivings and shortcomings are not openly discussed, and those are what truly need working on.


Clients need to improve unequal power dynamics:

Besides, research suggests that clients who kind of put the therapist on a high and might pedestal are also likely to do that with other people in their life. That is, they are likely to give inordinate power to others in a relationship, as a result suffering from low self-esteem. Thus, this may be a repetitive pattern of unequal power dynamics that may need improving on and the counselling relationship will be a good place to start it.


Therapist is your guide or knowing friend:

In thinking of your therapist or counsellor, you should think of a wise guide or a knowing friend, who is there by your side, knowing the way slightly better than you so as to guide you, but where you are free to tell if you are uncomfortable with a particular road, you can and should collaboratively change course. The most important aspect is that both need to walk, and both need to do it together.

Responses 2

  • leena mittal
    leena mittal   Jan 04, 2016 03:45 PM

    meri shadi hue abhi 2 sal hi hue hai lekin aaaye din mera mere pati ke sath ladai hoti rahti hai kya kare kripaya uttar de bahut bahut dhanyabad

  • ramesh sonker
    ramesh sonker   Jan 04, 2016 03:42 PM

    मेरी पत्नी मेरे ऊपर हमेशा ही शक करती है क्या करे की उसको  मेरे ऊपर विश्वास हो जाये 

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