• 10 Aug
    Pooja Sarkar

    Is anxiety killing you for more profit in business

    anxiety and men

    After completion of my higher studies, I went to a new city for further education. There were lots of changes I have ever faced in my life. One of my cousins used to stay there for his work purpose. He stayed for many years there, so he had helped me to understand the city well. My cousin used to work there as a TL in one of renowned IT companies. Most of the time he was busy on phone and I noticed he has become quite aggressive during words with someone on phone.

      He even used to start smoking very frequently. One day I asked him if he was facing some problems. He never denied to share his problems with me. That day I had to listen to him carefully to know his situation in a better way. I found that it was an intense problem regarding his performance in office.

    He wanted to hold his position with respect and wanted to go for further development in career, but he was facing lots of problems in the office environment, he couldn’t handle those things anymore. He has also complained for inadequacy or sleep disturbances. He was stressed all over. As per his self evaluation, his performance was falling down day by day due to the stress factor.

    I was thinking of his words, I tried to put myself in his situation, how I would feel then? Working people spend most of their time in their office and the office usually becomes their second home. Home should be like the most secure place for everyone. One who gets trouble at work environment, it will be stressful for him/her. So the very next day I sent a mail to my brother by giving him some tips to get rid of his anxiety.

    A recent survey by the American Psychiatric Association and Harris interactive found Millennials to be the most stressed generation in the US. Furthermore, they are being diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders more than any other generation.

    Here are some tips for you to stay healthy:

    Feel your breath and live: Your body is the only place where you should live in. So feel your breath regularly by doing exercises and start your day by telling yourself that you will do the best.

    Create your rules: Once you create your rules you don’t need to spend your time think what should you do next. If you decide to do work till 7pm, no one can change this rule. Once you write these rules in your mind, you don’t need to get worried about small issues.

    Live organized: Arrange your priorities and the goals, which you want to work with. Allow you to take control of your mind.

    Live in present: Understand your past, how it has affected your present. Work on the present life for betterment.

    Live graceful: Practice forgiveness and work to achieve peace within yourself.

    Not worry about the tough time: If you have a goal to reach, hurdles will come on the way, don’t over think about these hard times, it will be a right way to achieve your goal.

    Not making your goal a priority: You have to decide what kind of priority you will give to your goal, else you will get lost among all your other activities.

    Don’t give up before you see the result: Impatience is the enemy of the change. If you don’t get result it doesn’t mean your efforts are wasted.

    Mindfulness: You have to concentrate on your work properly, tell yourself at morning what you should do today, and at the end of the day, check it, how you did correctly.

    Control your emotions: Learn to accept and value emotions at work. We can’t prevent emotions rather we should accept them. Try to assess the situation and judge what is going wrong in this situation.

    It will help you to deal with your daily life stress. Don’t run to get success, keep patience with yourself, you will definitely win one day.

    Image source

    Responses 2

    • Sanjna Verma
      Sanjna Verma   Aug 15, 2017 10:54 PM

      The tips you have mentioned are on point. In today's life, everyone is stressed due to some time or the other. Even children of 14-15 years face stress and anxiety due to the workload in school and several other personal issues. It is important to effectively cope up with them because life throws challenges at each and every moment. It is important for us to make them work according to our ways.

      Life is about trying things you love and learn something about it. There will be changes incoming because of it. But there should be a hope and a belief prevalent in all of us that this stage will pass on and working hard towards making that happen. And not getting anxious of any external factors that comes our way.

    • victor de
      victor de   Sep 05, 2016 03:29 PM

      Nice write-up Pooja Sarkar, I keep visiting eWellness blogs very often, and feel motivated. 

  • 14 Oct
    Cecelia Johnson

    Attitude Adjustment: Survivors Talk About New Outlook on Life


    I truly believe that life is what you make it and that it’s important to take things in stride. How we react to a situation can affect the outcome in numerous ways, and a positive outlook can help smooth the bumps. This is not easy for everyone, particularly those suffering from substance abuse.


    I often hear from recovering addicts about learning to shake off life’s minor irritants and appreciate the small things. Through treatment and therapy, they gain new perspectives. When they re-enter the “real world” these skills are quickly put to test.


    Recently I spoke with several addiction treatment graduates about new practices they apply through life’s ups and downs. It was so uplifting to hear their stories.


    Change The Reaction, Change The Outcome

    Wendy explained to me that she has learnt how to change her reaction. As a side note, Wendy now works as a recovery coach for Addiction Campuses, the organization that helped her battle her addiction at their Mississippi location, Turning Point Recovery.


    She told me, “It’s very rare that I’m in a bad mood now, because I’ve learned how to turn my bad mood around. Here’s an example: I came home from work one day recently and had groceries in the car, and [my fiancé] wasn’t out there to help me bring them in. I was a little pissed at first, but then I sat in my car for a few minutes and thought, ‘Really? Is this something to be mad about?’


    “Now instead of letting myself be overwhelmed by negative thoughts, things just disappear. Things aren’t as bad as we make them. We tend to make huge deals of things that are really just tiny specks on the spectrum.”


    And Ryan, who recently celebrated one year of sobriety, told me that he too has learned how to turn things around. He said he realized the negativity wasn’t helping the situation and only exacerbated it.


    Ryan offered words of encouragement to others:


    “It’s all the little details that can give you that positive outlook, and think about it: You can go through your day angry and not be positive — but what is that going to accomplish for you? It’s not going to accomplish anything. When you get a better outlook on things, you think about what you do have instead of what you don’t have. Don’t think about the stuff that you messed up; think about how much time you have to change your life,” he said.


    Mindfulness Makes a Difference

    Learning to change your perspective takes practice, but once you get the hang of it, then it becomes second nature. Scott told me he has learnt to listen first before reacting and saying his part. He said Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is what taught him to be mindful in difficult situations.


    Scott also told me he has a short fuse, so learning new interpersonal skills is a huge step.


    “DBT teaches you how to look at and react to things differently. I was the kind of guy that had the ‘I’m always right, you’re always wrong’ attitude, and I didn’t listen to others. I don’t do that anymore. Now I listen first and then I say my side, where in the past I just immediately thought, ‘I’m right, you’re wrong, and I don’t need to pay attention to what you have to say,’” Scott explained.


    It’s evident that these brave people have seen improvements in the quality of their lives. Their new behavioural skills will serve them well as they continue their paths to recovery. I wish them peace on their journey, and believe anyone else who is struggling with an addiction can find the same happiness, that they have.

    Image source

    Responses 1

    • Lawrence Klein
      Lawrence Klein   Nov 25, 2016 04:26 AM

      “If you can’t measure it, you can’t improve it.” said 19th Century physicist Lord Kelvin:
      Inna Khazan, PhD Clinical Psychologist Instructor of Psychology, Harvard Medical School wrote this excellent book: "The Clinical Handbook of Biofeedback: A Step-by-Step Guide for Training and Practice with Mindfulness"  A practical guide to the clinical use of biofeedback, integrating powerful mindfulness techniques.

      *  A definitive desk reference for the use of peripheral biofeedback techniques in psychotherapeutic settings, backed by a wealth of clinical research

      *  Introduces mindfulness and acceptance techniques and shows how these methods can be incorporated into biofeedback practice

      *  Step-by-step instructions provide everything a clinician needs to integrate biofeedback and mindfulness including protocols, exemplar logs for tracking symptoms, and sample scripts for mindfulness exercises

      *  Includes scientifically robust treatment protocols for a range of common problems including headaches, hypertension and chronic pain

       James Harrington said: “Measurement is the first step that leads to control and eventually to improvement. If you can’t measure something, you can’t understand it. If you can’t understand it, you can’t control it. If you can’t control it, you can’t improve it.”. http://bit.ly/1axuHOv

  • 01 Jan
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    Diary of a teen mom

    Diary of a teen mom


    Today is the second birthday of my son Samar. When I go to my part-time college classes, people can hardly guess that I am a mother. It feels strangely weird. I am glad that people can’t guess but I also feel robbed of my identity.

    Its been almost two years since that horrible day when Akhil broke up with me. We had been having a relationship for a while, and recently he had asked me to get physical. I do not blame any of us at all. The intimacy was good and it bought us closer. However, I did not know much about birth control options and he would use the condom on and off, assuring me that he was mindful of my period cycle and planning it accordingly and that nothing would happen.

    But it did. I missed my period. In India, it is so difficult to get a non-judgemental gynaecologist. I remember how that test came positive, following which I went to the doctor and she gave me a moral lecture. How do these doctors forget that the male partner is equally responsible? They put it so easily on women. If we had been educated of birth control options instead of all the moralizing, I would have been better off.

    I told Akhil and of course, like the typical Indian man, he walked off. I was beyond myself with tears. I remember my sleepless nights. Finally, my mom asked me what the matter was, and not able to keep it inside me anymore, I told her all of it. She was shocked, but she thought quickly on her feet. The useless doctor I went to did not even tell me about abortion options and the two months had already passed. My mom immediately took me to our Shimla hill house, and I stayed there till my delivery. We submitted an ill-health application in my bill and extended my admission.

    The toughest part was Dad. He never really looked me the same. My mom understood it would be tough to change his mind, so she just got me a rented apartment and visited me often. I thought initially that I may hate the child for all the consequences I am facing, but one look at Samar and all my anger would fade away. He is the joy of my life. Soon he will start going to school, mom and son both will study, I think, and smile.

    I think sometimes of the hypocritical society India is. We want girls to get married at 16 and 18 and have children, but look at the attitude people have towards me and my child. Just because once silly contract and one man is missing (who would have gobbled up tons of dowry, no doubt). I have decided, I am not going to define myself through societal standards. I love my son and we will live life for and with each other. I don’t care for anyone who may look at my child with anything less than affection.

    Responses 1

    • Sanjna Verma
      Sanjna Verma   Aug 25, 2017 04:15 PM

      This is a true story for every Indian woman who indulges into a physical relationship with someone who she has not married. When will this patriarchal mentality go? For every single thing a woman is blamed. If any female is sexually assaulted then the blame is put on her clothes she wore? Can't these perpetrators control their instincts?

      It is also pathetic to see how Indian gynaecologist are fixated within the societal taboos of not having sex before marriage. They advise women to not have intercourse before marriage as the society will question about her character. Her male counterparts can go on having physical relationship with as many people as they want. But women cannot do such things. Shame on the gynaecologists for having such a regressive mindset, even after being educated.

      Kudos to these women who decide to live through their life despite the major setback. Things become more difficult for her as she needs to go through various comments by others. This shows how women need to be aware of their rights and their dignity.


  • 20 Dec
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    My ugly nose

    My ugly nose

    A lot of us are unsatisfied with the way we look. We want to be taller, fairer, and thinner. But all this is just idle talk for most people – grumbling about weight loss while devouring a fried snack. But what if some aspect of how you look becomes a constant fixation.

     If you meet all my friends and find out what I spoke to all of them in common, you would find that I have asked them all for their opinion on my nose. Is it crooked or straight? Are they sure it is straight?

    I don’t know when I started obsessing about my nose. It probably began when I was entering teenage. I remember my father saying when I was a child that if I made any noise at all, he would hit my nose and make it crooked. Needless to say, I was terrified and wouldn’t say a word in front of him.

    Initially, I would just check the mirror again and again, to see if the reflection had changed. Then, slowly, I started to ask people as I was no longer sure what I was seeing were real. People agreed with me, and some disagreed as well. It was all very confusing.

    One day, at the height of my anxiety about how I look, I decided to hammer my nose back into it’s place. My roommate walked in as I was about to damage my nose and then took me to the emergency section of the hostel. After a while, the college counselor came to see me. She explained that I had body dysmoprhic disorder, a fixation that one’s particular body part was not alright.

    Slowly, we worked around issues of my father and how the way he was with me may have affected my upbringing and led me to have this disorder. We channelized some of the aggression I felt towards my father and also slowly changed the absoluteness of my thoughts regarding my looks.

    I am still in therapy and treatment is far from over. But I feel much better these days.

  • 20 Dec
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    My beliefs were wrong

    My beliefs were wrong

    Belief is very important to humans. We all believe in something that keeps us going. For some, belief in God is important, for others, belief in themselves. But what happens if your beliefs are wrong?


    As my children grew up and spent long days in college, I started to feel more and more alone. Slowly, I lost the energy to do my daily tasks and could no longer enjoy the tasks I used to before.


     My daughter suggested that I may be depressed and that I should go to a doctor. She offered to take me many times but did not want to force me and I didn’t say yes.


    My husband was always travelling for work, ever since we got married. However, it was only lately that I started doubting that there might be another woman in his life.

    My depression made me feel all these thoughts I was having must be true, and that I was no longer an enjoyable partner.


    I was convinced to the extent that I had stopped eating regularly and fainted out of weakness one day. Then my children took me to Nagpur where we have our family home and of which I have many happy memories. My husband came to. We went to a good clinic there and they said that I had delusional disorder.


    They said it was very common for this to occur if the partner was absent during depression. My husband felt extremely guilty and requested his office to give him a steady position in Nagpur.

     Currently I am staying with him in our old family house, and with medication and therapy, am able to deal with the delusional belief I had about him being unfaithful. Things are slowly getting better.