I am 17 now. When I was in my early teens, in standard 9th or so, I had a best friend. Everyone advised me against her, as she was not so prim and proper. Though she was from a well off family, she had friends from mixed groups; some of them came from what we called then other world. Most of evenings she visited pubs and discs while we would be studying at home.
But she was my very good friend and confidant. And this was a 7 years long friendship, since the time we shared our tiffins and our seats and helped each other with homework. I have always been a reserved person with not many friends and I do not wish to lose the few I have.
One evening she invited me for a friends night out. I tried to convince my parents, but they never allowed me to stay out at night, so I had to come back home. I did not quite like her new company, but they were having fun and I was OK.
These meetings continued, some of them were from our neighbouring missionary schools and they were from well-off families, but I did not like their having cigarettes and other types of drinks which I did not quite recognize; they were neither hard drinks nor soft drinks.
we played chess and cards together; sometimes if I could not mingle with them, I preferred sitting with a book.
over a period of one year, I realized, that visiting my friend's home was becoming a necessity and whenever I went there, I felt an urgent need to have a particular juice which she often offered, when I went there. It was citric and sweet in taste, but I don't know what it was........however, after having it, I would feel sleepy, and back home, I would have a good night's sleep.
visits became more frequent, now these hangouts were taking place as often as thrice aweek, and my mom was angry. "You are wasting your time, your board exams are nearby, parties and friends will not save your results, enough of hanging around, now please stay back and study", she said. I was no longer allowed to go to my friend's house as that meant waste of an entire evening, because after coming back, I just went off to sleep.
one evening, as I was studying in my room, I started feeling thirsty; I tried some water, but nothing helped; gradually this thirst was getting the better of me. I was having cold sweats, I felt difficult to breathe; my mom rushed to me, took me to the washroom and made me bathe. every alternate I started having the same problem; I consulted the doctor and some of my test reports indicated that some addictive drug had infected me.
My parents were amazed; they did not let go; they queried me over and over again, but with fear of getting punished, I never informed them about my favourite drink at my friend's place, which I thought could be the source of my problem.
Even today, they do not know, that I could have received drugs from my friend's place by mistake.
I am on medications, but the problem is, I cannot resist myself from visiting her friend meet ups, even today just to have a sip of that orange drink. I try to control myself a lot, I even told her about the problem I was having, she however, never acknowledged that they take any kind of drugs or that my drink was drugged. slowly I have started being aloof from this group, but the sudden urge comes occassionally, and then I decide to visit her home for her friendly parties, and the first thing I ask for there is the drink. My parents don't know it. I make an excuse of tuitions. I am even afraid to tell them, but I want to get out of this trap badly... I know drugs can be very dangerous, they can spoil my life, my career, everything; I want to get myself sorted, but I feel very helpless at times. My friend is no longer my friend, I cannot tell my doctor about these symptoms as my parents will surely come to know then. What should I do? Please help, tell me what can I do to control or resist myself from this addiction, which came to me without my knowledge?