Dear User, it seems that you are going through a very tough phase of life. I read all the details mentioned in your question. I acknowledge that you are passing through difficult days. However, it is good that you are insightful for your condition and seeking help, which consider very positive signs for willingness to improve. Therefore, I strongly recommend you the following steps, I do believe that you have the desire and motivations to improve your life conditions and to proceed forward in your daily life and study. Try to continue struggling to reach your full capacity by all means, try to overcome your life'burden. Try to stay strong don’t surrender to your circumstances, try your best to use your strong aspects in your personal characteristics. Don’t underestimate your capabilities, try to share your hopes and dreams with other trustworthy people around you. Share your community with their social activities and events. Try your best to build healthy relationship with some trusted people to share them with your life dreams and hopes, try to work on achievable goals that add significant value to your life, try to be active in social activities in your surrounding environment. I hope you will try to practice the above proposed steps soon and you will find very positive outcomes, in the mean time, you can consult an online therapist for further instructions and suggestions, and help. Take wise decision.