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I want peaceful life.

15 Nov
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User's Question

We had love marriage, and we belong to different caste. My mother-in-law keeps comparing me with her other daughter-in-law. From house hold work  to eating to sleeeping to office everything. She likes foods,celebrations everything in her style only.She does not want to change her this habit. I can not do at that level and this cause problem in our relation. How I should handle this situation.

Whenever I say something to my husand, he always ask me to keep quite,and ignore her comments. But how much I can control myself? He doesn't even talk to me when she is around and only comes in room when she sleeps.

Please suggest.I don’t want my self to be in this tensed state. I want peaceful life with my husband and in laws.

17 Nov
Dr. KV Anand

Doctors Answer

Nov 17, 2015 07:11 PM

Dear, I can understand. You can see this type of situation, confusion and relationship problems in almost every Indian household. Still, Indian culture, we see very little divorce cases. That is because of the woman's adjustment ability. Your mother did the same adjustment. Your mother in law did adjust at her young ages. Your child will do the same and your daughter in law will do the same. Nothing will change unless our society changes. Society will not change for atleast another 1000 years. Because our society has the bond of relationship. 

 

Even though you don't like the attitude of your mother in law and she do not like you, both of you know, at her old age, you are the person who takes care of her. Your husband needs to look after his parets throughout his life like your brother does to your parents. If we accept western culture, all these relationship heaven will come crashing down.

Therefore, I sincerely suggest, to treat your mother-in-law as your mother from your heart. Don't try to change her attitude towards you. Instead, you change your attitude towards her. Love bonds anything. Your husband will be happy. Inturn he will support you. Take care.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by
  • Simrita Ajaykumar Basrur
    Simrita Ajaykumar Basrur
    MBBS, FRCS London