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My mother had strong feelings for my deceased brother.

23 Feb
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User's Question

I am 28year old married male. My past, my childhood was ok, but a few things still bother me a lot. I was born when my parents’ first son at the age of 10 died. As a child, I was always competing against my dead brother. My mother had strong feelings for my deceased brother. She always compared me, my hobbies with him, that irritated me a lot. Even now I feel like I could have a better life if he would not have died, or was not born. My parents spent enough time with my ex brother. So now I can understand their feelings, but when I was a child, I was not aware and when I think about my childhood, I don’t feel like myself.

How can I overcome these thoughts?

23 Feb
Dr. Ibrahim Abunada

Doctors Answer

Feb 23, 2016 12:32 PM

Dear, you reach the age of maturity, even though you have these feelings these days. it is very good that you understand the feeling of your parents, which consider acceptable to a certain level. The problem now related to your current thoughts. You have to work on your thoughts by minimizing the effects of this comparison from your parents toward your dead brother, he is not existing anymore. Try your best to attract the attention of your parents by good relationship with them, try to act in certain ways that they like. If they talk about your deceased brother Don, t be upset or anxious. Take care