Being a girl

11 Aug
Name Confidential

Nowadays I feel bad of being a girl and think like being a girl is a curse. Yesterday, I came across one bad situation in my life and now I feel really confused. When I am back to my home after my college, I went to upstairs to fold up the clothes which were dried after wash. While I was folding up, I was just noticed that, opposite to my home there was a paani puri stall and there a boy(North Indian) was standing and rolling his mobile around his hands. I just feel that he was taking me a picture/ video and I just turned up and covered my face. Later, while I was leaving again I noticed him the he was just keeping his mobile phone in a landscape mode and was watching something. I really don't know whether he really took me a picture, else I feel like that. I was really confused and scared to say this to my parent's or siblings. What I can do now? Kindly help me to get out from this, as I can't even stay calm and live in peace. It always runs in my mind about this disguising situation. Kindly help me...

Responses 4

  • Ayushi Jolly
    Ayushi Jolly   Aug 13, 2017 07:07 PM

    Hey there! Hope you are doing well.

    It is nice to know that you have noticed such a behaviour around and have decided to not ignore it. This is where a change begins and please know we all are here to help you out,you are never alone.

    Such instances can rarely be prevented but in your case you have bgun the revolution.Please do not keep quiet about it.You can do the following things for now.

    1.Please inform your parents about it and pressurize them to take legal action.

    2.Stay alert about your surroundings and keep your eyes and ears open while in public and alert specially when alone.

    3.Please know that stalking is a crime and deserves legal action.

    4.The next time you feel that something wrong is happening,do not fear in making a noise or gathering a crowd to ensure that nothing goes wrong with you.

    5.To avoid,you can shut your window,for privacy or ask the vendors to move away to another place.

    Also,do not hesitate in going up to the police for help. Please know that there is nothing wrong in being a girl,you should be proud of it.We are capable of so much more than males.Please do not put yourself down,you are an angel who deserves love.

  • Priya Parwani
    Priya Parwani   Aug 13, 2017 10:27 AM

    Hello.

    Hope you are having a good day. I can completely understand your situation as this thing happen to so many girls and affect their lives in so many ways. Firstly don't blame yourself, it's nothing to do with you or it's not your fault. Only the boys who do these shameful activities and affect our lives. You should be proud of being a girl and always remember that maximum power resides within you and you should be aware of this. Girls are blessings and not a curse and you should accept yourself as a strong and fearless girl.

    You should talk to your best friend or to a person whom you trust the most and take help from them. If you find that this incident occurs again then take the help of neighbour[good and supporting neighbour] and go, talk to that boy and threaten him that you will going to complain against him in police station. In case you didn't find any assisstance from anyone still you have to raise your voice and talk to your parents and they will surely help you and will do something against that boy.

    Be strong and always remember that girls are the strongest and are not the curse. Society should educate their boys to respect each and every woman. Don't be sad and fight strongly against it.

  • Anjali Deshmukh
    Anjali Deshmukh   Aug 12, 2017 07:52 PM

    Hi dear, 

              First thank you so much for considering us able enough to listen to your issue. Indeed this is the first step which you took to prove that its time girls raise their voice against what they think is wrong. Every girl have to go through this kind of situation and sadly all of us stop from talking about it. We cannot blame the society for this either. It is the mentality of men who think that it is fine to do whatever they like. They all have this " sab kuch chalta hai" attitude, which needs to be broken. Since childhood girls are taught to stay in limit and boys to stay as they like. This kind of society needs a strong lesson and only we can do something about it. 

    I know that you don't feel ok to talk about this with your parents. But I would suggest that do share your feelings with someone close to you in your family. Tell them about this incident and ask them what can be done. You don't have to be scared of anything. You are not guilty for anything which happened. Don't accept this and move on. Raise your voice and let the world know that girls are not weak, we are not scared. We have the power to change the world. Don't let negative thoughts stop you and distract you.

    Hope this will be helpful to you. Take care. Don't worry and keep smiling.

  • Minaish Dhabhar
    Minaish Dhabhar   Aug 12, 2017 03:50 PM

    Hello there,

    I am sorry about what you went through. In our society, as girls, we tend to face these things at some point. But that does NOT make it okay. 

    You feeling bad about being a girl is not the solution, and only adds to the problem that girls in our society face. Instead, you feeling violated, angry, upset, sad, disappointed is all understandable but blaming the incident on your gender is like blaming it on your self. And I do not want to let you blame yourself, because this is not your fault. 

    I think a lot of girls feel like this is something that they're just expected to face as girls and keep quiet about it. I understand that it's sometimes easier to keep these things to yourself but as uncomfortable as it may seem, the first step towards getting rid of this issue is educating others around us. Which means talking about it to both males and females. The more it is spoken about, the more society as a whole sees it as a problem that EVERYONE faces - not just women. 

    I know it doesn't seem like a big step, and maybe it isn't. But keeping it to yourself quietly is almost like accepting it and that is the last thing you need to do. So don't be afraid to talk about it. We're all with you. 

    Good luck, take care. 

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