Womenizer is cool?

13 Aug
Ayushi Jolly

Hello everyone!

Coming from a co-ed school,I find it so difficyult to understand the sexual orientation prevalent in girls for boys that act as casanova and vice versa for boys. During school we all are so childish and immature that we tend to get acrried away in such things thinking that they are cool.But I do not understand people who do these things even after graduation. I mean,not being judgemental but can we not differentiate between boys thata er genuinely nice and boys that just want to be with us to satisfy their urges and to act cool. I fail to understand the psyche behind boys who tend to act as womenizer and take pride in being one.I mean is that not a kind of disloyalty?

Responses 4

  • Reshma Venugopal
    Reshma Venugopal   Aug 15, 2017 02:35 PM

    hey ayushi! 

    Hope you doing well. 


    So yes, it is quite bizarre what young girls prefer when it comes to these things. Moreover, this is a phenomenal thing all around the world. Women tend to be more attracted to boys who show dominance and attitude rather than the sweet, considerate who will stay loyal to them. However I think this happens because of the natural process of choosing the best genes for our offspring. It has been theorized by many famous psychologists, that our main purpose in life is to pick the right potential right and perfect genes for our offsprings. This causes the whole biological factors of attraction, including hormonal interferences and other more obvious "feelings" when we see someone attractive. 

    So then again, why boys like that? Well, the simple answer to that, is that girls/women prefer men with a sense of "bad-boy" attitude. This is because they showcase a whole range of dominance and attitude that shows that they will be protected and be able to protect their offsprings. Of course, nobody thinks about it directly in these lines. But it's a natural process. If you were to be stuck with a very quiet, shy and rather "nice" guy, then you will consider him "weak". No, I don't mean that you will definitely that guy to be weak, and be sure about that, but definitely there will be a preference for someone who shows more of a macho and dominating personality because they make you feel protected. However, what women don't see, is that they dont know about these feelings, and definitely not look considerate about it. But maybe when they grow older, they will be able to distinguish between good and bad guys and be able to take a more informed decision rather than simply looking at the physical attractiveness of them. 

  • Shreya Narayanan
    Shreya Narayanan   Aug 15, 2017 12:08 PM

    Hey there,

    You know,this is all the psychology and it's got nothing to do with being a womaniser or a casanova.

    See,in a social group, you'll always see that one boy who is the star boi of the group, notice him for a few weeks and you'll see, he may not look dashing or may not have any dancing skills,but if you look close enough you'll understand,the only thing keeping him and making him the star boi is his 'Confidence'.

    Now,that boi may or may not be a womaniser. He could be a drug addict,or maybe the sweetest guy in the class. 

    Coming back to the main topic,womeniser is cool? Well it depends. To you it's clearly not,to others it is cool. So it's a subjective topic and one can't force his/her opinion on others. 

    Now,there are people like us who can easily differentiate between people who genuinely want to be with us,and those who are simply passing their time with us. Some can't do that, and it's sad.

    Taking pride, well they sustain in the group because of others. Now you tell me,if his own group boycotts him,do you think he'll be able to even be around them? Hell no, it's his own confidence and also the support of his group mates that help him.

    If it is mutual and just for a casual fling,then it's all well,but if someone breaks the other person's heart,then that isn't fair. Hope this helps.

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Aug 14, 2017 08:02 AM

    Hey there! 

    In this era, it's like everything this acceptable. If the girl and guy accept each other without expecting loyalty in return then I don't see any harm in dating 5 girls at once. If people are aware of the truth and still want to proceed then it's not harming anyone. 

    However, personally I don't think having so many partners is good for either of them. One person might someway or the other get emotionally attached and then it all falls down. I understand that sometimes people aren't ready to commit and they just want a pshyical relationship to satisfy their needs but that still leaves a hollowness inside. 

    Few boys date multiple girls at once just to brag being a stud. They are appreciated for having so many girls to 'play' with. This is immature and really inconsiderate. This should be stopped. 

  • Minaish Dhabhar
    Minaish Dhabhar   Aug 13, 2017 10:26 PM

    Hi Ayushi,

    I think what you've noticed is a pattern that has less to do with school and graduation and more to do with psychology and the science behind attraction. 

    Basically, we would tend to go for a "womaniser" because subconsciously, we seek social validation. Knowing that this is someone others have approved of and shown favour towards makes us believe that they are worth our approval. We base our social opinions on the opinions of others, so we're less likely to go wrong.

    Additionally, we want our choices to be approved of by society so when we know society sees these boys as an asset, we feel attracted towards them. Society sees this boy as something of value, so maybe being attracted to this boy increases our own value. 

    Also, the general principle of conformity could be applied here too. This is where the age topic comes in - in terms of attraction, this is usually stronger in school and younger ages but does still exist anyway. We tend to confirm with other's choices sometimes, whether we realise it or not. 

    The above three are from a very psychological point of view, a lot of which can also be explained from an evolutionary aspect. 


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