false expectations

Responses 4

  • Aishwarya K
    Aishwarya K   Aug 21, 2017 01:33 AM

    Unfortunately, I believe there is no rule or theory that tells us what we should do with people we love. I know this makes it harder because it leaves it up to us to decide. If there was a rule on how to deal with these people, we could merely follow it and be reassured that it was the right thing to do. However, these things can’t be seen objectively. So like I mentioned, one will have to decide what they want to do. They can choose to be vulnerable with these people. This will allow one to live fully, but at the same time you have to be strong enough to endure disappointment. You are in control and you create your own happiness. Remember to give yourself more importance than you give others.

    There are some questions that you need to ask yourself which will then help you to make your decision. Do these people, that you love, love you enough to prioritize you when you need them? Do they have good intentions? Do they genuinely care about you? Are you sure that they only approach you when they need something? Is it possible that you might have misunderstood them? Did you ever try to approach them? Were they available when you did?

    Another aspect which is important to understand is that people do not magically understand our expectations and what we want from them. This is something that we often forget and always expect our loved ones to know what we want. Therefore, communication is key. Try to talk to your loved ones about what you expect from them.

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Aug 16, 2017 01:20 PM

    Hello there!

    I don't think you should do anything about this. Believe in the power of time. Time heals everything. 

    The more you pressure yourself into trusting people, the more you will overthink it. Just let things be. 

    When people who can be trusted come your way, you will know. 

    You should focus on not trusting people. Sometimes we think we can trust our friend but they betray us. It's important to choose your friends wisely. One very important check of whether you can trust others or not is when you think they are also reciprocating. If they also trust you it's unlikely that they betray your trust. 

    Take your time time to know people and judge them wisely. If they reveal other people's secret to you then they might reveal yours to others as well. 

    You can start by revealing small things about yourself. Then wait for sometime and check if your secret is still safe or not. Eventually they will gain your trust. 

  • Minaish Dhabhar
    Minaish Dhabhar   Aug 16, 2017 01:10 AM

    Hi there,

    I'm sorry you've been hurt before. And what I'm about to tell you is the last thing you're going to want to hear. But to overcome the fear of trusting, you just have to jump right in and take the jump and trust anyway. See, the thing is, unless you have good experiences as well, you're never going to truly believe that it's possible to not have bad experiences with getting close to people. It's like swimming. To overcome your fear of the deep end, you just have to jump right into the deep end. 

    So even though your brain and your heart tells you not to trust people now, do it anyway. Don't stop opening yourself up to people, talk to them and believe in them no matter how scary it is and you'll realise that some of them really do keep your best interests at heart. And only after you learn that will you realise that you win some, you learn some and the past won't have such a big affect on you anymore. 

    Don't worry, you'll learn to trust, to care for, and to love people. Slowly. Just keep reminding yourself that either way, vulnerability is not a bad thing. 

  • Sanjna Verma
    Sanjna Verma   Aug 15, 2017 09:18 PM

    Hello. You must have heard about the saying that 'Expectarions always hurt.' The best solution I can offer you is that do not expect much from people. One should learn to be self-dependent and rely on themselves most of the time these days

    Also, if one person has betrayed you that does not mean the whole world will be the same. There will be many people like you who must have suffered heartbreaks and betrayals but still going on doing their part in making others feel happy and secure. They understand the value of goodness unlike others.

    See, you will meet hundreds of people like this somewhere or the other in your life. Perhaps they may come to teach you some lesson be it positive or negative. Keep those lessons in mind so that you do not face the same thing again.

    There are many other things in the world to make you happy. Find them and enjoy those activities. Live your life as it comes. Hope this helps.

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