Long distance relationship

15 Aug
Name Confidential

I have known this guy for approximately 2 years. We have been in an on amd off relationship since school. Now he is in a different city for college. We are in a long distance relationship now. Our conversation is reducing day by day. At present its nil. I contact him but he is unable to take my calls as he is busy. He is always busy these days. When he calls after a long time, i am unable to talk. We have been fighting due to this often. At times i think that he is ignoring me and has just kept me aside and only turns towards me when he needs me otherwise he does not care. Is this my anxiety? He is a very nice person. I don't want to lose him. What shall i do ?

Responses 4

  • Aishwarya K
    Aishwarya K   Aug 28, 2017 01:29 AM

    This topic has been discussed many times and I believe it’s a very difficult question to answer because an outsider can never judge a relationship and decide what’s best for the couple. Even for those in a relationship, it can be very difficult to decide what the right decision should be. When is the right time to let go? Should they keep trying to make it work? Will it be worth it? Is there a future?

    Whether a relationship survives or not depends on countless factors. Firstly, it depends on how strong the bond is between the couple. What forms the base of their relationship? I believe the relationship must be built on trust, loyalty, mutual respect and openness rather than physical attraction and chemistry. Apart from that, it depends on where each person is living, their environment, whether it is a positive environment or whether they have personal problems to deal with. It also depends on how much time can one give their partner considering it’s a long distance relationship and he/she might have other work. In long distance relationships one really has to make an effort and take out time to talk because it’s quite easy to meet and spend time when a couple is together.

    These are just some things to consider. Apart from this, there are several other aspects that one has to keep in mind. So you should try to have this conversation with him and discuss the various factors which will give you some clarity.

  • Priya Parwani
    Priya Parwani   Aug 20, 2017 06:51 PM


    Hope you doing well. I can completely understand your situation. You can do the following things to maintain a good relationship:

    1) You should have faith in him and should understand his situation, maybe he would be really busy.

    2) When you talk, start the conversation with general things and then take it to your point and put forward your view.

    3) Try to be as calm as you can and have an open mind. Understand his situation and ask him about his life and college.

    4) Don't feel shy to start the conversation first.

    I hope these things will help you. Always be positive and eventually everything will be alright.

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Aug 16, 2017 08:08 AM

    Hey there! 

    Personally, there is a few change that long distance relationship works. Sure you can work hard and be genuinely committed, people have made it, but it's rare. 

    Its natural for a person to get busy with life. There is no way for you to check if he is really busy or just taking it, I agree that it's very frustrating and only leads to insecurities and trust issues. But you can't really anything about it, can you? He is your partner. When you got into a relationship with him, you should have had placed this much trust on him. 

    You people can talk and fix a time where both of you are likely to be free. But even this will be limited. Talking to someone on a schedule isn't very romantic but it's something is better than nothing. 

    You people can stay in touch through whatsapp and texting. It doesn't need that much time, you can update each other about where you are and how your day went. 

    Be friends with his friends over there so you are not a completely different person in his life. Stay involved and involve him too. 

  • Minaish Dhabhar
    Minaish Dhabhar   Aug 16, 2017 01:01 AM

    Hi there,

    See, long distance relationships tend to be difficult, yes. You already know that, I'm sure, and already knew that when you decided to maintain one. 

    Now I'm not saying that for this reason, you cannot end things and not blaming you in any way at all. However, a lot of couples in long distance relationships face this and get through it. This is done by having one honest, open conversation. While it seems impossible to get each other on the phone, you both will find one time -whenever - to just sit down and talk and see whether you'll are on the same page. Tell him "We need to make some time to have one proper conversation, please. I just want to talk about the way things are and know your thoughts about it too." It's not something to worry about, just something that will clarify what you guys both want and reassure the both of you that the other person still does care and that it affects him or her too. 

    So please do have this conversation, it will help things a lot. Worst case scenario: at least you'll figure out whether it's just your anxiety or it isn't. 

    Take care, and good luck. 

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