How to have better control over oneself?

16 Aug
Name Confidential

Whenever I get mad at my boyfriend, I promise myself that I will stay mad and not talk like everything is normal. I want to be cold and rude. But I reply to him as soon as he texts! I have a more busy life than he has yet he is the one who always replies late. Does he not give me equal importance? 

How to have more self control and not let my world divert around him?

Responses 1

  • Reshma Venugopal
    Reshma Venugopal   Aug 18, 2017 10:18 AM

    hi there. 

    I think I would like first begin by telling you, that there is no right or wrong when it comes to relationship feuds. Some people are more expressive than others and if you are the woman in the relationship then I'm pretty sure that you are more concerned about these trivial issues, i.e. replying as soon as he texts. And just because he doesn't, doesn't mean that he doesn't give you equal importance. 

    Some people like to text less, or maybe he doesn't text you soon enough because he knows you're are probably going to start a fight. So maybe that's why he avoids replying so soon. 

    Moreover, I don't think it's correct to assume that he doesn't have much work that he should reply to you asap. Maybe he genuinely has been caught up and couldn't give you the attention you need. I think the first thing you need start doing is  to understand that everyone has different priorities, and some are more important than others. Yes, you are definitely his priority and maybe you should give him a chance to prove it. It might not happen immediately, but communicate this to him. Let him know how you feel about this whole thing and how much it pisses you off when he doesn't respond. 

    When it comes to having more self control, well that's on you. But I would strongly suggest you not force your self control in this context. Have self control for junk food, drugs and alcohol, but not for your relationship. Your relationship is not an evil that you have to refrain from showing and giving love. So respect it, respect him and you'll be surprised how much things can change when you give him his space and comfort. 


    Hopw this helps! 

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