How to love yourself?

16 Aug
Name Confidential

Its very tough to like yourself for who you are when the society places too many expecatations out of you. The media portrays girls to be thin, kind, bubbly and passionate. What if I am not? What if people are making me feel worthless and I don't have the courage to throw out these people from my life because I care for them. How to eliminate these feelings and love yourself enough to walk out?

Responses 5

  • Aishwarya K
    Aishwarya K   Aug 28, 2017 01:26 AM

    Hey, I know it’s not easy to deviate from the societal rules and social norms. We can’t just stop talking to some people without giving them a reason. But you need to think about what is more important? Your peace of mind or being an ideal member of the community you live in? Once you realize how important your own peace of mind is, it will be easier for you to follow your will.

     I understand that it can be difficult not to compare yourself with others, but even if you do, you should try to appreciate the differences and diversity between you and others. Everyone has their own good and bad qualities and their own insecurities which makes them who they are. You have to look at yourself and understand yourself better. Think about the good and bad qualities in your appearance and personality and realize the uniqueness in you. You will see that there are some areas in which you excel and some in which you still need to work on. Everyone has their own areas in which they feel confident and some areas which bring out their nervousness. 

    Once you start appreciating the differences between you and others, you will stop comparing yourself with them in everything. You will achieve self-acceptance and you will be able to be happy with the way you are. Also, if there are some areas in which you want to change to reach an ideal-self, you should go for it. You can only accomplish these things if you work hard, so you should put in the effort and you will gain whatever it is that you wanted.

  • Priya Parwani
    Priya Parwani   Aug 20, 2017 05:43 PM


    Hope you doing good.Loving oneself is the most important thing and everyone should do this. But this society always stops us from doing which they think is not correct. Society has certain norms for the beauty of girls and people are blindly following it and forcing other girls to follow them. But being educated we should understand that we should love ourselves no matter of what size,color, race and ethinicity we belong to. Negativity is everywhere but it upto us whether to get affected by it or use it as a stepping stone to better oneself. There is only one thing which makes us a beautiful persona and that is kindness. We should work on ourself not to make ourself slim and beautiful but humble and kind. Accept yourself the way you are and try to be a better human so that you can bring merry to the world.

    Hope this will help.

  • Radhika Goel
    Radhika Goel   Aug 17, 2017 08:43 PM


    RECOGNISING that society's definition of what a 'woman' should be is not right and cannot be is the first step for you to be able to start loving yourself. Society enables one to live in society but should not define who we are. 

    Specific to your problem, not having people who make you feel worthless around you is the right step towards helping yourself. You may care about them, but it is time you take care of yourself. However, if you still don't manage to find the courage, another option is to communicate to your friends your feelings and how they have been holding the social media image too high.

  • Shreya Narayanan
    Shreya Narayanan   Aug 17, 2017 12:11 PM


    Haven't you heard the term 'log kya kahenge chhodo saare aise tum bahaane'.

    Why is it so hard for people to love yourself for how you were created by your parents and enhanced by you, ofcourse!

    See,if you understand the cycle of society they'll try to suppress each and every one of those people who don't tie themselves to society rules. They always do something out of the box, example loving yourself for what you are, may sound silly but yes,it is one thing society despises, because this is the first step of not binding by society rules.

    Who cares what they show in the media? Thin and curvaceous women dancing around naked with men throwing booze at them? Is this how you imagine yourself to be? Just by looking what the society wants you to be isn't enough,there should be a combination of how you keep yourself and how your mind works. Ask any smart man or woman,who would that rather date:

    A dumb yet fair looking person

    Or smart person with decent looks.

    Obviously the latter.

    Loving yourself is very important,you will feel conscious of yourself when you see some other pretty girl or a boy passing by,but you need to trust and have faith in yourself to carry yourself in the best manner. Let the rules go to hell and you become the master of your life by setting boundaries and doing things you love without care. 

    Love yourself.

  • Richa S Karthikeyan
    Richa S Karthikeyan   Aug 16, 2017 05:13 PM


    Yes, you are right , in today’s world there is a lots of pressure on all of us to be perfect. And that "perfect" also is decided by the media. But the truth is , we all are humans, and we are not perfect. We all have our flaws and positive features. There is the logic behind why we all want to show others that we are perfect, that is to gain social acceptance , which in terms of evolution , helped our ancestors to get their genes in the next generation. Now, that has taken an ugly shape.
    To love yourself dear, first respect yourself, validate your feelings and make crisp boundaries in your relationships. So , that nobody can take you for granted and you can create a balance within yourself and in all aspects of your life. It seems confusing and unachievable , but its not that difficult. Specially , with the support of a good counselor you can be the person you want to be.
    It's sad that in India , going to a counselor is seen as something weird . And many people do not want to spend money on that. But think of the value it can create in your life . Like , in few sessions , you can gain your self esteem, which is priceless. I hope , this helps you . All the best.

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