getting married and career

16 Aug
Ayushi Jolly

Hello everyone!

So recently,I attended an enagagement ceremony of my college senior.She was the topper of her batch and went abroad to pursue her Master's from one of the best universities in the world.She completed the course and returned home and it has hardly been two months that she is getting married.I feel so happy and sad,altogether.She was so bright and could have done so much with that degree but she intends to settle down with her husband and accept life as it comes.I really feel bad for the efforts she had put in to get the degree and now seeing them getting wasted. Will she remain happy,in long run? Being so competitive and intelligent,will she adapt to marital setting and seek pleasure in it's dullness?

Responses 3

  • Priya Parwani
    Priya Parwani   Aug 20, 2017 05:23 PM


    Hope you are doing good. Your concern is relevant as if I would have been at your place, I would also have thought of this only.  As you said that she is highly competitive and intelligent so before taking this action she might have thought of this and should have come up with something concrete which for her can be really important. Marriage doesn't mean that end of dreams, hopes and career. May be for both education and marriage are important and she wants to enjoy both the aspects of her life. Will she remain happy is a question which according to me no one knows. It totally depend upon the bond and mutual understanding they couple have. If they share a great bond she will surely have a good marriage.

    Intelligent girls can adjust in marital settings until and unless something unfair to her happens.

    Hope this will help.

  • Shreya Narayanan
    Shreya Narayanan   Aug 18, 2017 06:26 PM

    Hi there,

    As a caring friend,I truly understand your worries for your friend. 

    Now this would've been difficult if the decision of settling down was taken by the society,and not her,but as you've clearly stated,"she" was the one who has decided to settle.

    You know,there were times when people would be like,' she has got so much degree,who cares? She should only know how to cook and keep the house clean.' but now,thanks to changing times,people have changed their question to,' if she has so many degrees why isn't she working?' 

    I'm glad you raised this question. She could've worked and earned so much,but she decides too settle. She has made a personal choice and it's her life. You trying to interfere and talk to her to continue would be stressful. Let her be. If she is happy,then everything is well and good. 

    Hope this helps.

  • Sanjna Verma
    Sanjna Verma   Aug 16, 2017 09:25 PM

    Hello. It is astounding to see how Indian women become so loyal that they give up all their dreams after their marriage. If they did not let her pursue her dreams, I presumably think they would impose their 'familial traditions' on her and as you told she is well-educated and intelligent woman, I reckon she would face some conflicts with her family in such matters. But the way she unquestionably gave up on her dreams of studying hard and getting a good job, she must have done it out of her familial pressure. No doubt about thay. She is very much aware of what her parents and her in-laws expect of her and she values their opinion, going by the whole situation.

    I think she will be okay considering her respect for her family members. With her intelligence, she would be able to understand how to make things work in favour of herself. And she must have developed into an independent person who knows when her rights' are violated and what to do if she feels suppressed. Sometimes she might also need support for friends like you. But I think she will be fine.

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