Teenage Relationships

16 Aug
Sanjna Verma

Hello everyone. 

I see my feed on social media and I see that some of my juniors in school who would be around 14-17 years getting into a relationship. It makes me feel that they are quite good in handling both studies and their commitment. Is my notion correct? Also I was thinking that is their age appropriate towards engaging towards these activities? Why do they get into a relation in the first place? It feels inadequate to me when I see the younger lot trying to grow up so soon.

Responses 4

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Aug 17, 2017 01:37 PM

    Hello there! 

    I know right? It startled me too. I see young people getting relationships and committing to their partner. It's like these words have lost all meaning. Children so young don't even know what commitment actually means and yet they are ready to commit? Maybe few of them really are committed but most of them are into a relationship just because others are. They are modelling the behaviour of others to be accepted in the school and not feel like an outcast.

    Few people are in relationship just because they seek support and care from a special someone. They don't realise but they eventually get dependent on them. 

    I won't be hypocrite and say that one shouldn't get into relationships. One must, it will help you to learn and manage emotions properly. Relationships bring insight to the kind of person you are and the kind of person you are compatible with. It makes you stronger in handling interpersonal relationships and to grow adjustment and compromise skills. 

    Just make sure your academics don't suffer. Sometimes we forget that relationship is not the priority, career is. 

  • Shreya Narayanan
    Shreya Narayanan   Aug 17, 2017 11:44 AM

    Weren't we a part of a generation once,where everyone wanted to grow up as soon as possible to gain that one thing India has been fighting for the last 150 years? Yes my friend,freedom. That is exactly we all thought as kids,that once we all grow up we'll get loads of freedom to do anything we want and we can. We'd become unstoppable by our parents and play with our friends and watch cartoons and eat ice creams. But is it that way?no.

    Comimg back to relationships,there is a severe misconception that young teenagers will be able to handle studies and their lovers because of their hormonal changes,they are emotionally unstable and they need maturity to think like an adult because they're in the process of being one. That is why,this happens.

    In other developed countries where this happens, it's normal and they've got good facilities and knowledge about so many things,they're education system is far better than ours could ever be. Here, it's a taboo to speak upon sex and other contraceptions,that is why in this curiosity, children tend to engage in such sorts of acts and later repent for not having enough knowledge. There,the people are caring,here getting pregnant without marriage is looked upon as disgrace and what not unimaginable.

    If the young teenager is mature enough to maintain it,let them. Because if they don't learn from their mistakes,who will? Our foregeneration never even tried it all,so they can't even comment on it. It is us who are going to be the guiding torch for the young generation,let us set a good example for them.

  • Heena Sheth
    Heena Sheth   Aug 16, 2017 10:59 PM

    Hey Sanjna!

    Hope you are doing well.

    I often used to feel the same earlier. I used to believe that they can handle both acadamics and a love life. But I was mistaken because I had just assumed it without knowing about their situation completely. Hence, I was mistaken to an extent.

    Most of these people, between the ages of 14-17 are in the teenage years, they're adolescents. The adolescent period as we know it, is a period of transition and is marked by a great deal of influence by the peer groups and the friend circle.

    Relationships, especially romantic relationships require a lot of maturity and clarity with oneself. Getting into a realtionship is a milestone in almost every individual's life.  As most people say, that there is no "appropriate age" to develop these close and romantic relationships, individuals engage in them depending upon the person himself/herself. I know of people who have been "together" since the 8th grade and have completed several years with each other. Whereas some of the realtionships have lasted for a couple of months.

    When it comes academics and commitment, we must understand that every person has their own capabilites and qualities. Some choose to focus solely on their academics, whereas some choose no to. SO it really depends on the individual.

  • Reshma Venugopal
    Reshma Venugopal   Aug 16, 2017 10:44 PM

    Hey there!

    You've made quite an observation and yes, it is something to wonder about. Teenage is the time where the notorious hormones come into action. And while this is our biological perspective to things, there is a combination of social, cognitive and biological factors involved in this. 

    I think if you ask your parents and grandparents, about 70% of them might say that they never had any of these "feelings" or "urges" during their times. Now this could have two reasons, one being that, there was no one to tell them that it is a natural process. In our Indian society having any feelings for the opposite sex was a taboo, and not to be tampered with. So they just became accustomed to the idea that nothing should happen. Moreover that time, the interaction between the two sexes was on a minimal, and people maintained a safe space. Basically, even if they "felt" it from "within" they never really dared to show it on the outside.

    whereas now, we have better and greater reasons to let ourselves fall in such a place. The media plays a significant role in this, as culturally the more and more we try to adapt to the western world, it becomes more and more easier for the younger generation to express themselves in this manner. Let's just look at all the famous American tv shows we watch. In that there is always a recurring theme of love among younger people. Since dating and sex are common and not so taboo in their culture, we are also slowly adapting to it. 

    The point is that these things had the potential to happen long back too, but it just never did as it is happening today because of the drastic change in lifestyles and cultures. 

    Now whether it is good or not, well, I personally feel, the more we become open about these things, the better it will be for the health of the young people. They are curious, it is natural and judging them or banning them from all of this will just cause further mental damage than going through a heartbreak that will teach them important lessons in life. 

    Hope this helps!

Book an appointment