losing a friend

20 Aug
Ayushi Jolly

Hello everyone!

I have a friend who dropped out of college and got into photgraphy.He has been doing fairly well in this field and has all the family support and all.He has even started earning pretty good now.But we have been friends since class four so we are still the little,stupid ids for each other. Lately,I noticed change in his behaviour.He has developed so much professionalism in him that he calls me up when he has work or wants my help or reference.He does not even talk to me nicely.He is such an old friend and I do not want things to end abruptly between us.We have got into heated arguments because of this,various times but there is no outcome. What do I do?

Responses 5

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Aug 25, 2017 02:01 PM

    Hey there! 
    Things change, people change. 
    Its natural for a person to change with time. As we grow, our environment changes. We learn few habits and behave differently. You might not have realised but you'd have also changes someway or the other. Sometimes these chnages are for good and sometimes for bad. 
    You must talk to your friend. He is a close old friend, I am sure he will understand that you don't want to lose this friendship because of this change. Maybe he will be able to provide you with better explanations as to why he has been acting so distant and cold and money minded lately. 
    Dont get upset. Like you said, professionalism. Sometimes people don't even realise that they are changing. They are so engrossed in their work that they forget to think of other people. You just need to remind them once and things will get better again. He is your friend, you are important, he will definitely make up for this. 

  • Sanjna Verma
    Sanjna Verma   Aug 23, 2017 09:51 AM
    Hello there. Hope you are doing well. It does happen that due to work commitments we tend to lose contact with our friends from school and even if we do have we feel that we do not have that same bonding we used to have earlier. I believe what you both are going through at the present time is just another chapter of your friendship. Either you need to be in it and analyse the situation or you need to let it go. What you told about your friend, it seems to me that he is somewhere in his mind taking too much pressure due to work and when you try to talk about your friendship it freaks him out as he feels he has lots of work to do and he cannot afford to give time towards such things. I believe that time has the power to heal everything. If you feel that you are arguing too much over pretty issues, don't snap the friendship but I suggest you to keep a low profile. If he calls you for some help, provide him with that. Don't talk about anything else. Perhaps he will be able to realise where is he going wrong. Or maybe you should talk to each other face to face. Nothing else can work as much as you both meet up and talk about the predicament. You will have a clearer picture then. Hope this helps.
  • Shreya Narayanan
    Shreya Narayanan   Aug 22, 2017 10:56 AM

    Hi there,

    You say your friend only calls you when he wants some help from you or reference these days. Okay, understood. And he is doing fairly good in his photography field which is great.

    I think you should try spending time with him more often,like a casual date or a movie plan so that you talk things over. He's been your childhood friend,but giving you no attention and only calling you when he is in need is not what friends do,right? So, my advise would be to talk to him about what you feel and take his feelings into account to. If he thinks that he is busy and won't be able to spend time with you,then it's okay.

    Don't end things abruptly over a fight or something trivial. Talk it out as grown ups and figure a way out of it. 

    Best of luck.

     

  • Shanmugi B.P
    Shanmugi B.P   Aug 21, 2017 08:54 PM

    Hi!!!

       Hope you are doing well. I can clearly understand about your concern. People will never know the value of something until they lose it. But I can clearly understand about your plight situation. Losing a friend who is known from four is such a hard situation to come by. I can hereby suggest you something helpful

    1. Stay calm:

    If your friend doesn’t spend time with you, just stay calm and think from his point of view. May be he can have some important meeting or else urgent situation to handle. If you came to know about nothing like that, then just leave him in his own way, one day he can realize about the value of a good friend who waited for you long day.

    1. Try to be busy:

    Also make yourself busy always, which can help you to avoid the memories with him. If you feel boredom, you feel like to have a chat later if he fails to respond you, you feel depressed.  So, better you can stay calm and try to assign yourself with the work you like.

    1. Have a weekend trip:

    You can have a weekend trip if you need not to miss your friend. But researches found that, “If you have friend for more than eight years, then you got a friend for life”. So, if you sit and have a chat you can resolve all your problems and can find the solution.

    Hope it helps you!!!

    Take Care :)

     

     

  • Priya Parwani
    Priya Parwani   Aug 20, 2017 01:07 PM

    Hello.

    Hope you doing well. I can completely understand your situation. First of all you should have to have patience and understand that your friend is in a new field and trying to set up his base and all these things are very difficult. To start everything from level 1 is tough and requires lot of hardwork, dedication and time. Maybe your friend is completely busy in setting up his own career that he has no time for anything else, but you should have faith in him because he is your friend since class4, which is a long time, try to understand his situation and instead of having arguments ask him how you can help him and talk to him about his work. Maybe this can help to better the situation because he is your childhood friend and will never want to hurt so it would be better to understand his situation. Try to have general conversations and then slowly come to work area and conversation and then you can put your complain[if you still have] regarding time issues.

    Hope this will help.

Book an appointment