Taking for granted

21 Aug
Name Confidential

After knowing someone for a while why do people take them for granted ? People no longer give that importance to the person. They start spending less time with them. I am not saying that they stop loving the person. They just unknowingly start ignoring the person thinking that he/she will be fine if I reply late but that late does not comes as they ultimately forget. They know that that person will not leave him/her and thus start priortising other things. Even after being complained of doing so their behaviour does not change. Why is it so? Don't they think that it might be hurting the other person making him/her feel unwanted and not loving. Can't people spare some time for those who lobe them ? Isn't taking for granted bad? What can be done ? Shall people stop talking to such people and move on? 

Responses 5

  • Priya Parwani
    Priya Parwani   Aug 27, 2017 06:10 PM

    Hello.

    Hope you doing good. I can completely understand you. Yes it definitely hurt when someone ignore you for a longer time. See there can be different perspectives,  may be you and friend share a strong bond that talking to each other on daily basis is not required. Maybe he is busy in his life and wants to focus in his career, that's why unable to give time. Then you should understand. But if your friend ignore you again and again and don't listen to you at any point and don't care for you, then you should have to talk to your friend and should get to the solution.

    Friends should support each other not to constantly ignore. And if something like this happens, then it need to be sought out. If no good results come then moving on is a good option.

  • Shanmugi B.P
    Shanmugi B.P   Aug 25, 2017 05:42 PM

    Hi!!!

       Hope you are doing well. I can clearly understand about your concern.  And I truly agree with your statement. People will never realize about something until they lose it. The value is realized only after their lose. When it comes in relationship people always wanted to be affectionate and the valuable time they spend for them. When someone suddenly changes their attitude of avoiding us, then we feel blue. It also makes people to think themselves wrong, ”Why he/she is doing this to me?,  Is there any wrong in my behavior/ character.?”. This will make people to down themselves which leads to depression.

    So, when we realize that we lose our dignity and the avoidance from other person. First we should inquire about the person’s behavior?. If their reply satisfies you like, “I am busy and sorry for the late reply, will never repeat  this.” You can have a relationship with them. But if their reply shows their action of keeping you away. You can just walk away from their life. Self-respect is the most important matter that matters a lot in a relationship.

    Hope it helps you!!!

    Take Care :)

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Aug 22, 2017 05:05 PM

    Hey there! 

    Being taken for granted definitely hurts. It hurts the most when people who mean everything to you do this. It's disheartening when your friend takes you for granted. But if you think from their point of view, it's not a big deal. Why? Because as your friendship grows, people reach an understanding and comfort. They know that even if they don't talk daily, it doesn't mean the friendship won't hold that much value. Friends don't need constant validation and evidence to prove the love and care they have for each other. These things are just known. 

    But yes after a certain period of time, this understanding seems to fade away. Once or twice neglecting or proving yourself a friend is fine but if it happens daily then it just means that the person isn't making much effort. In these cases, it's better to just let things be. Talk to that person once and if your friend continues to behave the same way and take you for granted then let them go. There's no point forcing people to be friends with you unless they really want to. 

  • Shreya Narayanan
    Shreya Narayanan   Aug 21, 2017 10:51 AM

     I love lunarbaboons!

    Anyway,so coming back to your topic,taking someone for granted,well according to me it's all the matter of priority,or maybe the person really didn't have time to text you or contact you. But for me,in the end, it's priorities.

    See,someone might be taking you for granted,you yourself might be taking someone else for granted. It's a vicious cycle of despise. If we could think out loud,then I think relationships would have been much clearly defined,but sadly not everyone is a mind reader.

    It's true that one should never take anyone for granted, especially those who have stayed with you during your tough times,like your family or friends. See, circumstances might change but you should always acknowledge and consider the other person.

     For me,love and spending time with loved ones has always been my priority no matter what,but I don't expect any one else to spare their time for me,or love me. I just try spreading as much as love and care possible. Try being 'this' person. Good luck.

  • Ayushi Jolly
    Ayushi Jolly   Aug 21, 2017 12:57 AM

    Hey there! I hope you are doing well.

    I can absolutely understand how things go wrong after some point of time.Being taken granted for is so normal after a while.This is wrong.It is rightly said that we realize the importance of things once they go away from us.So is the case with people,we realize their importance after they leave.This is not limited to your case but experienced by so many of us.There are,thankfully,a few things that can be done to deal with such a situation.

    1.Try not being super interfering in the person's life since that might reduce your value.

    2.Do not give advices or poke into your friend's life until you are asked to.

    3.If you feel,even a little,that you are not getting the right attention or nothing near to what you are giing,feel free to leave the zone and stay away from the person.No wonder he/she might just come back running to you.

    4.Had they been realizing that they are hurting you,they would not be doing it.

    5.Try to understand things from the other person's point of view as well.

    Hope this helps and your friends and significant people realize your value before it is too late.

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