What's the right thing to do ?

22 Aug
Name Confidential

I've been in a long distance relationship of three years now. We meet around every 6 to 7 months. However, since I moved to university we have been having issues. He doesn't like to tell me whats happening in his life, and in his defense, he doesn't have much to talk about. Time is a factor, but it is also something I know I can get through with. But this time he said he doesn't want to continue with long distance. We fight constantly because I felt like he doesn't give me attention. He says he wants my physical presence with him, and it's the same with me, but I just know I can do without it. Now another thing is, we are not going to be physically together for a very long time, because he is going to return to india next year, while I move on abroad again. I don't plan to come back until I finish my education plans. But whenever we meet in the summer or a break, we both are always together and everything is beautiful again. But this time, even after having the beautiful moments he wants to end things. And while I know deep down that he is right in his view to want to end it, I still feel like it shouldn't because we are both still in love. And his best friend texted me saying that I should just act like I'm ending things so he can miss me and come back. I'm tempted to do this to want him to come back, but I know it's wrong. And he made a choice and I should support it. So what really should do now, and how can I just recover faster?

Responses 4

  • Shanmugi B.P
    Shanmugi B.P   Aug 22, 2017 09:35 PM

    Hi!!!

       Hope you are doing well. I can clearly understand about your concern. People will never realize the value of something  until they lose it. So, think twice before you take decision. You have two decision in your hands, live in a relationship or break up the relationship. The decision you make is the decision for your life. If you choose to be in a long distance relationship, then just sit and talk with your boy friend when you meet again. Share your issues and your decision of staying up in a relationship of whatever happens. Try to convince him, if he fails to understand and reveals of breaking up the relationship. Just stay calm and leave him. Because once it is broken whatever we do, will never ever replaced by anything even it is our heart.

    So, just stay calm if, you loved him truly he will get you one day.If you decide to break up, make clear of your career path and work for it. As it will be too hard to forget our loved ones and their memories. But if it for their sake, then still the love remains which make us more stronger.

     

    Hope it helps you!!!

    Take Care :)

  • Ayushi Jolly
    Ayushi Jolly   Aug 22, 2017 06:54 PM

    Hey there! I hope you are doing well.

    Dating can become really hectic and things can take bad toll but isn't coming out of such situations what defines us and not running away from them? In your case,I believe that long distance is creating a little problem here.The case you know better but I believe that we must strive for what is really most well-suited for you and not what your hearts wants right now.I think both of you should stop talking for a while so that,what you feel for him,he feels for you.Make him realize how much you mean to him.If it really does help,continue anytime suitable and get back together in near future.If things go wrong,at least you will also realize that you were just pushing something that had no future. Such things just end up as soon as possible but what goes wrong is that they have such pleasure giving ability that we tend to hold on to them. Do not just end things rapidly because of petty reasons.See if you could meet up or at least talk calmly and weigh everything from both persepctives and then come to a conclusion that is acceptable to both.

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Aug 22, 2017 01:49 PM

    Hey there! I don't want to shatter your hopes and dreams but I personally don't think long distance relationships work. It's very tough to manage one. No matter how commented people are, physical presence matters. We seek intimacy and fulfilment of sexual needs. If you are not present with the person, it's obvious for him to seek all these things from others. Besides when people are far away, the emotional connections also suffers. You might not have time for each other, you won't be able to share your problems and understand them because both of you are in different contexts. It's like they say 'out of sight, out of mind'. 

    The wise thing to do would be to stay friends. I am a firm believer of what's supposed to stay in your life will gravitate back no matter what happens. Let him go and if comes back to you after one year, you will never whether the relationship is actually meant to be or not. 

    Dont play tricks. It's not fair. Believe in faith an drew destiny. Few things are better left on it. 

  • Shreya Narayanan
    Shreya Narayanan   Aug 22, 2017 10:34 AM

    Hey there,

    As an ardent follower of 'love', I've always believed that distance can only increase love between two people,nothing else,but this works only if you have enough courage and patience to love somebody to the core.

    Even I have a long distance relationship,and sadly we can only meet once a year even though we live in the same country. I know, it's sad because even we want each other's physical presence constantly,but you know what keeps us going on?the connection between us. We both spend our days and at night,cozy up on the bed and talk about our lives. 

    I think,you need to talk to your boy friend about it. Ask him why does he want to end it when he knows he is in love with you as much as you are with him. And if his decision is final,and that long distance isn't working out with him,then you must respect his decision and walk out from his life. 

    This is the most rational things to do,but I've always believed in the power of love,I may sound like some saint,but trust me,things you love,end up getting back to you, maybe not always in the way you expect. 

    Best wishes from my side. Take the right decision and move on with your life.

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