What do you do when a friend likes you?

23 Aug
Name Confidential

Hi everyone,

So I have a friend who's in a bit of a sticly situation and it's actually one that's quite common.

So she has a friend who she considers a very close friend but the boy has feelings for her. What is the best way to go about this? We realise that sometimes trying to stay as close to the boy as a friend makes it difficult because he sees her so often, talks to her so often, etc. But it's also difficult to cut down your contact with someone so close, even a bit.

So what would be the best way, kepping the best interests of the boy in mind, to have him get over her, or simply make the situation more easy for him to deal with?

Responses 4

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Aug 23, 2017 04:52 PM

    Hey there! 

    There is no easy way of coming out of this situation. Your friend can't have best of both worlds. 

    If the guy genuinely feels for her then it will be hard for him to just stay friends. He would also expect reciprocation from and it will only break his heart if he doesn't get it because obviously the girl won't be able to provide it. 

    Your friend can talk to this guy and tell him they are not on the same page. How she doesn't feel the same way but she also doesn't want to lose him as a friend. It's very important that she is polite and kind while saying this because the guy might take it in a wrong and feel less significant. 

    Let the guy decide how he wants to move on ahead. Whether he is comfortable being just friend with her, if he suggests deacreasing the amonunt of time they both spend with each other so he eventually stops feeling for her or he would like to cut things off. 

    Your friend will have to understand his situation and let him go if does try to end things. 

  • Reshma Venugopal
    Reshma Venugopal   Aug 23, 2017 03:03 PM

    Hope you doing good. 

    I can't begin to tell you, how much I can relate to this. And I'm going to start telling you the mistakes I made during this. The first mistake I made, was seem oblivious to the fact that he likes me. I tried to act like none of this happens and he is just a friend, just like all my other guy friends. And that was mistake one. 

    Secondly, I never said stop it. It obvious to everyone that he was having feelings more than he should have, but I never said stop it. 

    Thirdly, I never talked about it with him. When you know something is going on, but you still act like it's okay, and not address it, then the guy will think that he is allowed to do it. 

    Moreover, even after knowing how much he likes me, I never stopped hanging around him or hanging out with him. And since we were part of a big group, we used to do almost everything together, especially since we are in the same university and the same Hostel premises. 

    And this was the biggest mistake of them all, because I just refused to say anything. And before I knew it, I found him expressing his feelings for me, even tho I didn't have the same feelings. 

    Now we hardly talk, we lost our friendship and everything is weird. 

    Now how could have I avoided this? The answer is simple, and that is, JUST OPEN MY MOUTH. I could've just avoided this if I said that I have an issue and don't feel the same before he started really trying. And deep down it's my fault, and that is exactly what you need to tell your friend too. To open her mouth, and say clearly that nothing is going to happen between them and stay firm with the idea. This is the only and best advice I can give you. 

    I hope this helps! 

  • Shreya Narayanan
    Shreya Narayanan   Aug 23, 2017 11:40 AM

    Hey there,

    Hope this finds you in good health. I've been through this and I'm happy to say that my best friend and I,still share the same friendship and bond and it has never been awkward.

    For a moment,I really thought it was my own story,but given that girl already has a boy friend,her friend will definitely respect her feelings for her lover rather than him,and he will back down from this. 

    They say there is nothing worse than having broken up with your best friend,and it'll be really sad if the girl and her friend drift apart from each other. 

    Talk it out, we're a young generation so we can deal with such matters easily,but do maintain the same level of friendship even after this 'talk'. Don't coerce him and make him remind of this again and again,move on and enjoy your lives.

    Wishing you all the best.

  • Sanjna Verma
    Sanjna Verma   Aug 23, 2017 09:29 AM
    Hey there. Hope you are doing well. Yeah, I truly agree with you that this is a common problem. And yeah, such situations can turn out to be tricky. As you are not able to understand how to make the person who is in love, to realise how to deal with it. I think that you need to explain this guy how the situation is. If he really loves your friend he will try and reconcile with it and respect your friend's feelings. If that is not the case, you need to make him realise the same. I know it is difficult, but you need to try. I am saying this because I am presuming that your friend treats this guy only as her close friend. Maybe you can persuade this guy to remain friends with your friend and keep his feelings go. See, it is up to him how he decides to treat this situation. Don't coerce him to do anything. Try to explain him and counsel him that life is certainly unfair. I believe they should remain friends but let them talk to each other about it and decide. Hope this helps. Good luck :)