Staying single

23 Aug
Name Confidential

Hello everyone. I have a friend who has been single for the last 4-5 years. She says, she really liked rather loved the last guy she was dating but unfortunately it was just an infatuation for the guy. After that she never went into a relationship. We are in midway of our college life and three people in our friend group are committed. Now she says, I am bored, I want to go in a relationship too but I don't like anyone, when will I find someone. At times I think that she pretends to have overcome her past and just because people around her have a partner, she wants one too. How can I help her. Why everyone wants someone? What is the problem in being single? There are many benefits of being single atleast during the time we are studying and trying to set a career. 

Responses 4

  • Priya Parwani
    Priya Parwani   Aug 27, 2017 01:50 PM

    Hello.

    Hope you doing good. According to me, there is nothing wrong in being single. You are free, you can do anything you want and on your own terms. No emotional chaos and you can have a complete focus on your life. Being into a relationship should be a choice of an individual and should not be affected by our group members or friends. If your friend really wants to be in a relationship, then she should. But if she wants to be in a relationship because everyone else is in relationship, then it's wrong and you should tell her that.

    Your friend have to be clear in her thoughts whether she wants to commit or not, whether she wants to just a have a good friend. Ask her about thr real feelings and then guide her. This is the age where we all are confused and moreover we want someone to take care of ourselves. So ask her what she really feels and then take decision wisely.

    Hope this will help.

  • Ayushi Jolly
    Ayushi Jolly   Aug 25, 2017 06:00 PM

    Hey there! I hope you are doing well.

    I appreciate your concern for her friedn and also you can totally help her out of this. See social influence is one thing that drives a person crazy and can make him do wonders.What goes wrong is the fact that how we change our perspectives to suit others and to remain ingrouped. Here,your friend might have recovered from the past but when she sees her friends going around,the memories she had pushed to the back of your mind,might get refreshed and therefore she might have gone nostalgic and wanting to date. Sometimes,it is not just the commitment but also the intimacy,comfort and support that pushes one to start dating again.She gets to decide finally,what she wants to do but if you think staying single is better than you must prove your point to her. Try indirectly telling her how much this relationship drama affects her,remind her of her past,cite examples from friends. Highlight all the good things that she does in singlehood that she might have to give away for a boy.Ask her to think and choose wisely and not date for social circle's purpose. 

    Hope this helps!

  • Shanmugi B.P
    Shanmugi B.P   Aug 25, 2017 05:47 PM

    Hi!!!

       Hope you are doing well. I can clearly understand about your concern.  And I suggest your friend take up right decision as she is already get hurts by a guy and in relationship. If she again falls in bad way then she will become more depressed. Staying single is the best. It will never ever hurts anyone. It can help us set our career in a clear way, which can help us to achieve more in life. While in a relationship we have some commitment and responsibilities which will never leave us to set our clear career path. It always make us to be in confused state. Staying single can also make your parents to feel free about you without any stress. But when it comes in relationship, if it wasn’t accepted by your parents then the situation may go worse.

    So, it your friend choice as she was already in a relationship she may know all goods and bad ends of a relationship. If she really need some company she may get into a relationship. If she need a relationship by seeing your friends as a partner, then I think it’s not a right decision to get into a relationship.

    Hope it helps you!!!

    Take Care :)

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Aug 24, 2017 01:41 PM

    Hey there! Being single is the best. You get to focus on yourself and living your life on your own terms and conditions. No body to depend on, nobody to care about, no emotional attachment, no body to pull you back. 

    If your friend wants to jump into a relationship just for the sake of romance, then I don't see any harm in it considering that the guy knows it's all casual and doesn't mean anything. But if your friend is under the assumption that she is over her past then maybe you can clarify things for her. From her side, I would say that maybe you are assuming things. Maybe she really is over her past and is trying to move on. There is no black and white category of knowing when you have moved on and when not. It's only when she will try getting into a relationship with someone else that she will know she is ready or not. 

    I suggest that she tries getting into a relationship, and if it doesn't workout then things will become clear. She will have better understnding of her standing and will seek closure. 

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