Poor Self Esteem

Responses 5

  • Nihalika Verma
    Nihalika Verma   Jun 15, 2017 07:57 PM

    Hello Alan,

    Self confidence is too much related to our self esteem. And we create our self esteem, when we are too young, hardly at 4-6 year of age. So, your low confidence clearly indicates that you do not have a high self esteem or self image. Please work out the reason for it.

    No individual is less. All individuals are great in their very own unique way. You too are a great human being and no less than anyone. Please keep on trying hard, do no deter to participate, even though you fail sometimes. As it is rightly said, either you win, either you learn! Also, read good self help books. Authors like Shiv Khera, Robin Sharma etc are well know for this. Also read the book called, "The Power of Positive Thinking". It will help you immensely.

    Please understand there are many many many reason of failure. It may be not enough effort, or less homework done to solve the problem, lesser motivation, wrong path taken, wrong time chosen to attack the problem and many more to count. Hence, you are not always to blame.

    You mentioned that when failed, you cry. Does that help? Please try to analyse the situation and re-work on the problem.

    Don't forget, you are the creator of your life.

    All the best. :)

  • Ishika Jain
    Ishika Jain   Jun 15, 2017 01:14 AM


    Everyone at one or other point of time feel low esteem, it is natural but it is very important to overcome your low esteem. Having self confidence, can make your life successful and much more happier. Never take blame for what you have not done. This will harm you only. I will tell you one line, always repeat that line in your mind whenever you can, look yourself in mirror and say that line, "I am the greatest person ever born on this planet", this must seem hard at first but make yourself believe that you are the greatest person, not for others but for yourself, and don't care what others think. When you are great in your eyes, your actions will prove to be great, it will help you to increase your self esteem. 

    SURABHI POKAR   Jun 11, 2017 05:55 PM


    The first and most essential step to boost your self-confidence is to believe in yourself. Think of the small things that you lack at try to build them. Small changes indeed make a big difference. Set small goals to boost your self-confidence and then gradually move to bigger goals. Reinforce yourself after completing the goals. Blaming and crying won’t help, it will in turn increase the negativity and your problem. Accept yourself, appreciate yourself instead of bringing negativity in you.
    Be well prepared with the content and presentation of a particular work. Practice it beforehand how you want to perform. Beat the negative feelings in you by practicing well like studying well very before exams. Improve your dressing styles and way you present yourself. Have more assertive and positive self-image. Think and act positively, it will make much difference. Replacement of the negative thoughts by positive goes on a long way in solving the problem. Usage of various positive techniques, yoga, meditation, reading inspirational books, articles definitely will help. Give time to yourself, think of good things in you and groom them to the best. Talk to people in positive ways, put energy into your actions. You will notice the difference in you. Keep Smiling.:)

    Hope it helps.
    Thank you.!

  • Rishabh Shukla
    Rishabh Shukla   Jun 10, 2017 05:19 PM

    Hello Alan,

    Self-confidence is a very big problem of youth. Many of youngsters have this problem.

    Alan To increase your confidence is a quite tough task. First of all you need to is increase your knowledge first of all gather whole knowledge about your topic. Suppose you have a presentation gather all the knowledge regarding your topic everything always remember knowledge is a very big factor of confidence. After that you can start with a single person just catch one of your friend to be your volunteer and try to speak in front of him.

    You can find people having the same problem around you. Tell them your problem the will say the exact same words going in your mind. Spend time with them have debates speeches only in front of those 4-5 peoples this will take a bit of time like 2 months but always remember it is never too late to start.

    Normally people have less confidance in speaking this will help you definitely.

    Believe me as you said you take blame on yourself. Although my suggestion is not connected with this statement but it will help you in both manner.

    Hope this will help you

  • Manaswini Venkateswaran
    Manaswini Venkateswaran   Jun 10, 2017 02:19 PM

    I have struggled with the same problems as you in the past. The reason for most of the pain is a flawed style of thinking. This flawed thinking pattern (or cognitive distortion) is the root of all our problems. 

    One of the flawed thinking patterns which play a role in self-blame is incorrect attributions, i.e. blaming ourselves for all negative outcomes and not taking any credit for positive outcomes. We also tend to make our failures a bigger deal than they are and make our successes seem smaller than they are. 

    Constantly engaging in these incorrect ways of thinking results in a negative evaluation of ourselves which may not always be accurate. 

    One of the things that really helped me work on these issues was writing about whatever was upsetting me. Writing in detail about the problem made me view all parts of it objectively and reconsider whether my thoughts about it were rational or not. Many a time, I realised that I was just overthinking and a lot of the things I was cursing myself about were not my fault at all. 

    Another way to improve self-esteem which I used was to make a list of everything I liked about myself and read it whenever I was feeling down. 

    Hope this helps you work through your issues!

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