creating a mess

25 Aug
Ayushi Jolly

Hello everyone!

I have a friend who think she a is mess. I have known her since school days and have observed that she is very restlessness.There are times when she is unable to complete basic tasks.She never scored well in exams either. Things go so wrong that she is unable to follow basic instructions also,in daily life.Her parenst also look down upon her since her brother is very intelligent. I think she has some learning disability or attendtion deficit that has never been diagnosed.However,she has visited a clinical psychologist and things were found to be normal.How can I help?

Responses 3

  • Shanmugi B.P
    Shanmugi B.P   Aug 26, 2017 06:23 PM



       Hope you are doing well. I can clearly understand about your concern.  You can help your friend in many ways. Like accompany her every time and guide her. So, she feel protected and safe always which will make her stronger. You can motivate her even in some small things like, if she have been following the basic instructions in  her daily life you can gift her and praise her. This will increase her confident level. Also whenever she tries to so something, help her so she feel a guide/advisor is there for her. It will strengthen your relationship.

    Make her to feel normal and not like a patient. Have some fun weekend plans, watching movies etc. Be with her always. And also you can have some therapies while consulting some clinical psychologist which may have some improvements. So, make her to have the full support from you, and her family.


    Hope it helps you!!!

    Take Care :)

  • Sanjna Verma
    Sanjna Verma   Aug 26, 2017 02:13 PM

    Hello. If you have sought help from a clinical psychologist and inspite of that if things are normal, there is some problem in her daily life. Maybe she has problems with her family or friends or any other untoward incident or change in her life. Something which is imprinted upon her subconscious. I think you should talk to her and ascertain any such event which might have had happened with her.

    Also make her feel that she can do anything she wants to. You mentioned about her parents looking down upon her when compared to her brother. Counsel her not to get bogged down by such comments. Make her realise that she is important and loved by you and since she is your school friend, you have known each other for years so you know where she is lagging or what she is good at. Make her realise her strengths and make her work upon her weaknesses.

    And yes, do keep interacting with her and talk about any positive thought, any joke you heard somewhere, anything.Keep her motivated and cheerful so that she realizes that life is much more than her current problems. Hope this helps.

  • Priya Parwani
    Priya Parwani   Aug 25, 2017 11:14 PM


    Hope you doing well. Since your friend have visited the psychologist and everything come to be normal, maybe she lack  self confidence. People who don't have confidence in themselves face these difficulties. They don't consider themselves as worthy to do anthing or to achieve anything and end up messing things around. You can the following things to help her:

    1) Make her believe that she is important and needed.

    2) Tell her that she is unique and no one can be like her.

    3) Try to help her to achieve the task successfully as this will give strength to her.

    4) Encourage her to do small tasks everyday and complete them successfully.

    5) Tell her that her parents love her and she is important for her friends also.

    Just make her believe that she is important and maybe this will help her.