befriending opposite gender

25 Aug
Ayushi Jolly

Hello everyone!

We all have experienced how girls and boys,ever since we've entered any social circle,always want to be friends with the opposite gender. I fail to understand why is it that the same gender friends are taken for granted and how people die to make friends.Girls want to be friends with boys and vice-versa.We tend to give so much attention to our male friends and start ignoring our female friends,who've probably done so much more for us. Is there so psychological reason behind such a behaviour? Are there any theories to support such acts or is it even normal?

Responses 5

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Aug 27, 2017 01:46 PM

    Hey there! 

    I have so many female friends who actually prefer guy friends over girl friendship. When asked why so, there answer is simple. 'because guys are so much less drama', this is quite often true. I myself find female friends a little bit too overwhelming. 

    Its all about who you gel well with. 

    Many females choose guys over girls is because the kind of attention they get from guys is different than what they get from girls. With guys, there is a scope for chemistry and romance. We can't seek that from girls. It's okay to seek romance but ofcourse, it's shallow to forget your female friends because of this. 

    I have seen many females taking their friends for granted whenever a guy enters the friend circle. 

    Even guys tend to give importance to females because they seek attention and romance. I don't see any harm in any of this until and unless their friends object of this behaviour as being too selfish. Friends can always talk it out. 

    I am sure if one person tells their friend how they want to spend more time with the opposite gender person, they will understand. 

  • Sanjna Verma
    Sanjna Verma   Aug 26, 2017 01:40 PM

    Hello. I am not sure about this being normal or abnormal but I can ascertain the reason behind such behaviour:

    1. Such feelings of befriending someone of opposite gender is more prevalent among the teenagers and younger adults. I believe that this is due to the hormonal changes that they get attracted to someone of opposite gender.
    2. When they see their peer group being indulging in this behaviour of befriending opposite gender, even they might feel the need to do so and they try to experiment.

    It can also be that girls are more comfortable in the company of boys as they do not appreciate the way her peers behave. It all depends upon the personlaity traits they like or dislike,

    If you are neglecting other friends because of one person, this is absolutely not good. Even if you don't like someone, but they like and respect you, you should be kind and generous to them.

    I believe befriending opposite gender is not a wrong thing. We view it that way because we associate that with love and romance etc. Also due to the fact that love is being treated as something to play with, these days. So we have developed a negative perception of love.

    There are many boys and girls who are just friends. Do they need romantic relationship always?

    Hope this answers your question.

     

     

  • Priya Parwani
    Priya Parwani   Aug 25, 2017 10:49 PM

    Hello.

    Hope you doing good. I think our choice of friends depend who we are and who we prefer to have in our lives. According to psychological studies, we like those who share some common things with us and I completely agree with this. Our friends must have something which will be common. For example we will only  be friends with only those who shares the same or about the same level of temperament or any other attribute. There are so many friends of same gender so shares a strong bond with each other. So according to me it completely depends on the individual that to whom he wants to be friend with. So it all depend upon the vibes, you can get the correct vibes with anyone and that will become your friend.

    The society has made some notions that two girls can't be best friends but now time is changing and all thses things are losing its ground and people are now more open. They choose their friends wisely i.e. people who they share a good bond.

    Hope this will help.

  • Reshma Venugopal
    Reshma Venugopal   Aug 25, 2017 09:54 PM

    hi there! 

    Thanks to our over dependence on our social circles and our social position, we often find ourselves in a place which we never thought we would ever be. And this is what happens most of the time. There are things which just happen and there is no theory or proper way of doing it.

    i don't think it's correct to say that we should be more inclined to the same gender as us. We are thankfully, in this day and age, able to be more free with our choices. So some people like to hang out with the other gender more, and there is probably more reason than just some sort of romantic intention. Some girls like to spend time with more guys, because they are just happier that way, their nature is that way, and they feel more like themselves with them. So if that's what they like then that's on them. 

    However, I would agree with you on the part when your girlfriends choose their other friends over you. This is something that happens on a daily basis to everyone, and that's what's wrong with the world today. People have become more and more selfish and prosocial and less of genuine people. And that's something You just can't do much about. I would say the best thing to do, is not really rely too much on others. Be independent, and keep them close if you feel they are genuine enough. 

  • Heena Sheth
    Heena Sheth   Aug 25, 2017 09:01 PM

    Hey Ayushi,

    I'm not aware of any theory on this, but I shall still answer this question on my experience. I hope it helps.

    As an individual progresses from the childhood period of their life to the period of adolescence, it is but natural for an individual to develop an interest in the person of the other sex. However, this may happen or may not happen. Many people develop a liking for the people among their own sex.

    For any sort of relationship, be it friendship or romantic it is important for the individuals to connect emotionally and have a strong bond of trust.  Initially certain relationships do develop due to mere physical attraction, but if they need to last for a long period of time, it is important that the people in it feel at ease with each other, there has to be a feeling of comfort, a feeling of homeliness and respect.

    I have seen friends of the same gender go out of the way to help each other and so do friendships which involve people from the opposite gender. Now, a lot of people say that men are less drama so it's ood to have them as friends. I don't think that is true. Men have been brought up in way that tells them that it is "manly" to keep your emotions to yourself and that they must be emotionally strong and several other things that come under the broad heading of stereotypes and should be dealt in another way.
     I think friendship is beyond gender.