Possessive Friends

26 Aug
Name Confidential

Hi guys,

So I know the concept of possessive friends is not new, and a lot of people joke about it but it can tend to be a problem in a lot of friendships. I know it's natural to feel possessive or jealous of your friends and their friends, but when do you guys think it's justified and when it's not? What do you guys do when you find yourself in this situation, and additionally, if you're on the other side of it (that is, if you're the friend in the middle) what is the best way to deal with this?

Responses 3

    APOORVA PANDEY   Aug 27, 2017 10:32 PM


    Any relation has to be carefully balanced so that one does not become overindulgent and at the same doesn't let go off the relations too much at the same time. I read somewhere that there are various stages of friendship. It begins in childhood where the friendship is more reciprocative in nature. If my friend gives me a good gift at my birthday she is my good friend else she is not. As one matures and understands that the social relations are much more complex , one learns to give space to one's friends. Being possessive of the friend is a stage that comes somewhat in an individual's adoloscence. It is only in mature adult relationships that an individual gets off this feeling of possesivness. Such relationships are generally stable and long-lasting.

    No matter what position you are in in any kind of friendship, it is necessary to understand that giving space and trusting others is the key to any kind of relationship. So is the case with friends. If you feel that there is something troubling you about the kind of relation your friend has with someone else, talk it over with them. Effective communiocation is the key to a successful friendship.




  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Aug 27, 2017 01:26 PM

    Hello there! 

    I know we are all really possessive of things we have and people we have. We don't like sharing them with others, we want them to also feel like that for us. But you see, we can't force this on people. 

    I am a believer of what's yours will gravitate back to you. You can't make people stay closer to you just because you want them to, you can't be forceful. It should be natural. 

    If you see that your friends are better friends with others then maybe you should let it be because what's the use of wanting someone who is already better off without you? 

    I think you just have to let it be and accept the fact that there is nothing you can do about it. You can give it time. What's yours will come around on it's own. 

    Its not justified to ask someone to stop meeting a certain someone just because you are insecure or jealous of them. It's not justified to ask someone to do how you want things to be done. We are all mature individuals who have our own opinions and views and choices. 

  • Ayushi Jolly
    Ayushi Jolly   Aug 26, 2017 11:58 PM

    Hey there! I hope you are doing well.

    Yes,if that comforts you,we all have been into this siatuation more than once,surely. All friendships do not run smoothly and things take toll throughout but what comes out of these gaps is the real bond.

    Coming to getting possessive,I believe it is something that naturally comes to us. We all feel possessive about something not necessarily in friendships but in other relations as well. However,coming out of such thoughts is what makes us mature. We all have been in conditions where we were being possessive,where we were victims of possessiveness and also where we were stuck.Here are some solutions that you can try that should help you through-

    1.Try making your friends talk to each other.If she is being possessive that means she is insecure.Go to the roots to remove this insecurity out.

    2.Keep in touch with both of them and make sure your circle is always connected.

    3.Do not let any outsider come and intervene.Since,an external person only spoils things and never brings relief.

    4.If nothing,try keeping the possessive person away for a while and make her realize that we all are committed to other relations as well but that does not take her special position away.

    Hope this helps!