Old Age a Nightmare ?

27 Aug
Rasi M Sethia

I have seen that many people leave their old parents and start living alone with their spouses. If you ask them the reason of doing so, they say that old men are a burden. They forget that those old men their parents who tolerated all their tantrums when they were young without any complain. Even if parents are staying with them, they will criticise them, make them feel unwanted, and some even become abusive. How can children become sp selfish and not give support to their old parents ? 

Responses 3

  • Aishwarya K
    Aishwarya K   Sep 11, 2017 12:36 AM

    As people grow old they require more and more attention. They also want validation that their position and power at home is still intact. They may try to get this attention by asserting control over the younger members sometimes. It can be very tricky to deal with the elderly because although they have attention-seeking tendencies, treating them like children can make matters worse. They need to be given their autonomy so they should be able to decide everything about their own care and situation. Try to give them the most viable options instead of giving them orders. Ask for their opinions and ask for their advice when taking major decisions. This shows that their opinion still matters to you and it helps them feel a significant part in their life. Try to be more compassionate towards them and deal with your frustration more positively. 

    I can relate to your frustration because I am somewhat in the same position. I know you don’t mean to get angry and frustrated but it just happens sometimes. I guess it happens with everyone. It’s okay to feel frustrated sometimes but it’s important to express or release it in a healthy manner without getting angry. This can only come with practice. 

  • Sanjna Verma
    Sanjna Verma   Aug 31, 2017 09:51 AM
    Hey there. It is something I believe, been emerged out of the materialistic needs of people. And as you mentioned that they forget that their aged parents were the ones who had taken care of them when they were kids. Also, as was mentioned in the previous answer that the views of their parents and themselves becomes different. It is due to exposure to different types of people having different outlook. That is where the may begin to think ill of them, that sould never be the case though. They have given you all support and care you require and you should reciprocate that right? Also with old age, comes various physical and mental conditions wherein they need their young children's assistance. But hey are grossed so much in their jobs that they feel, taking care of them is a burden. It can also be a cause of a pampered upbringing. They learn to love those materialistic things rather than paying attention to the emotions behind it. Hope this helps.
  • APOORVA PANDEY
    APOORVA PANDEY   Aug 27, 2017 09:30 PM

    Hey

    This is one thing that is oftens seen as children grow up and start becoming independent. As teenagers, this tendency starts showing up in more subtler forms . But once kids become independent fnancially it becomes more apparent.

    It is difficult to figure out the exact reason why kids do so. may be partly the way they are brought up is to blame. But at the same time it depends upon the perosn in question himself/herself. The kind of influences that fall on a child while growing up, their peers, all influence their attitudes in their later life. 

    As we grow up,we often see our views coming in direct conflict with that of our parents. We start considering their views to be redundant and thereby inconsistent with ours. As they grow old, definitely their body and mental efficiency defintely declines. This is where the problem emerges. We can no longer tolerate them. And then start showing disrespect to them . Old age homes is what we look for then. This all is cyclic.

    See such views are very common. It depends completely on us how we treat our parents. We must understand that the people who put their everything at stake so that we could have a good life , deserve love and respect even when their mental and bodily faculties betray them.