jealousy in friendship

27 Aug
Name Confidential

You love your best friend a lot. You support her to work harder and move forward to be successful. You help her in taking decisions. But at times when she achieves something or gets something which you weren't even a part of it, you feel a bit uncomfortable. Is this uncomfortable feeling jealosy. Is this bad and guilty ? Why does this feeling comes when she is not your competition and you care about her and love her ? Please help.

Responses 1

    APOORVA PANDEY   Aug 27, 2017 09:03 PM


    Well before I say anything about feelings of jealousy towards best friend in particular, we must understand that 'jealousy' in itself is a very negative emotion. So it naturally follows that be it your best friend or anyone else, jealousy shouldn't become your defining characteristic. Well, comparing oneself with others on one side and feeling jealous of them on the other, both these emotions apparently look similar but there is a subtle difference between the two. Comparing oneself with others entails the thinking ' If she could, why couldn't I?' Jealousy on the other end includes the kind of thinking' If I couldn't, how could she?'. The former inspires you to improve yourself. The latter causes you to think and act negatively towards others.Understand the difference.

    Jealousy, per se, reflects in your behaviour towards others. It is bound to have an adverse impact on your relations with others. More so, with your  best friend. Thus this feeling should be prevented from influencing our behaviour as much as possible. It's better to take inspiration from others and learn from them than being jealous of others. 

    May be the best way you get rid of such feelings is to try and become as successful as your friend. If that means doubling your efforts for the same, well then go ahead. Its human nature. No matter on how good terms are you with your friend, you cannot be genuinely haapy for her, unless you have the same achievements as her, you cannot truly rejoice on her successes. Just work on yourself , your jealousy will automatically vanish.