Is it okay to discuss periods in front of my grandmother and dad?

27 Aug
Name Confidential

its very annoying when I have to hide getting periods every month. My mom doesn't allow open discussion about it. We always talk about it privately. If I am on my periods and dying in pain, I can't tell my dad that please leave me alone because then he will ask me why and I won't be able to tell him about it because it's not a very comfortable topic. What should I do in these cases? 

Responses 4

  • Aishwarya K
    Aishwarya K   Sep 11, 2017 12:43 AM

    I know it’s very disheartening, but the sad reality is that changing people’s mindsets, especially ones that are deep rooted, is extremely difficult. Unfortunately, even those that are educated and belong to the upper class still have ingrained beliefs that men are superior to women. 

    Unfortunately, women face these issues more because this mentality has been ingrained in our society that it’s a woman’s role to take care of the family. The current mentality that runs in our society is that women are responsible for nurturing, cooking, and cleaning. Because of this mentality, it is often assumed that women will take care of their family over taking up a job.

    This leads woman to have inner conflicts. Even though they really want to work and have a job they will often be stuck at home doing chores. It might even be difficult for them to open up about what they really want to do because even they believe that taking care of the house is their primary responsibility when it is not. Men should equally help out at home. In fact, every member of the house including children should perform their own chores.

  • Sanjna Verma
    Sanjna Verma   Aug 29, 2017 08:06 AM

    Hey there. Actually there is nothing wrong towards discussion of such matters. I fail to understand as to why menstruation is considered a taboo in terms of discussion amongst others. It is just another bodily process and as one of my professor termed it "as normal as peeing or pooping."

    As mentioned in other answers also, you should first talk to your mother about it and try to explain her how it is normal to discuss about this phenomenon as everyone goes through this. Also, if you feel hesitant towards discussing this issue to your father, you can tell your mother who can further communicate with your father.

    If she does not get convinced by your views, I don't think there is much you can do about it. It is so much prevalent. There are very few like you who want to change these age-old questionable traditions. It will take time to change such notions, even generations. Just because your family does not allow open discussion about such issues, don't let it act as a hindrance for you. Hope this helps.

  • Name Confidential
    Anonymous   Aug 28, 2017 01:59 PM

    Hey there! 

    I understand your family situation. I have been going through the same. 

    Its not fair that a biological process of mensruation has to be hushed down infront of family. It's natural and it doesn't make you a sinner or impure. You should be able to talk about it just like you talk about any other problems. 

    However, it might be uncomfortable for your dad at the beginning because he isn't used to all this. Maybe your mother can inform him about your condition so he doesn't ask you to do stuff and you won't have to answer to him directly. 

    Choldren learn what they see in the family. Make sure you don't make the concept of mestruation a taboo in your family. Let your daughter talk freely of it so that she doesn't fear discussing about it just like you did. If you can't change the present then atleast you can bring a change in your future. 

  • APOORVA PANDEY
    APOORVA PANDEY   Aug 27, 2017 07:43 PM

    Hey

    It's really appalling to see that while we talk of women empowerment on one hand the basic issue of menstruation is made a hush hush affair even in today's times. May be this is not that problem specific to you but to girls and women across the country. It is quite paradoxical and ironical to see that while in our culture we celebrate a women's reproductive power, on the other hand, issues like menstruation are usually frowned upon with various taboos and restrictions attached to it.

    Before you talk about it to your father and grandmom, I suggest that you speak about it to your mother. Figure out thereasons as to why she has asked you not to discuss it with your father or anyone else in your family. Explain her that how natural this phenomenon is and how there is nothing 'wrong' in it being discussed openly. Indeed various cultures in South Indian and Nepal celebrate the onset of menstruation in young girls. YOu need to talk it over with your mother first.

    Although this is one of the biggest manifestation of patriarchy in the modern society, it operates in very subtle ways. many girls Nand women do not even feel the need to question it. I am glad that you had the courage to come up and speak about it on a public forum.

    GOOD LUCK!!

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