What makes us attracted to different kinds of people?

28 Aug
Minaish Dhabhar

Hi guys,

So I noticed that all of us have different types of people that we fall for. The kinds of people I would find attractive are not the kinds of people my friend would find attractive. Why, though? This isn't just limited to physical looks, but personality as well. There are different theories - some people say we're attracted to the kind of people we perceive as equally attractive to us, some even say we're attracted to the kinds of people that are similar to our parents. Just wanted to know what you guys have learnt about this, whether through experience or psychology.

Responses 4

  • Sadaf Ambreen Saiyad
    Sadaf Ambreen Saiyad   Oct 01, 2017 08:33 AM

    Hey there. 

    I totally agree with you. We are all different and we get along with different kinds of people. There can be many reasons for this. 

    • Interests. We can relate to people whose interests lie in the same area as us and there would be a lot to converse about. It is quite logical to get attracted to someone who shares the same interests as you. 
    • Personality traits. This again is an important factor in determining who we get along with. More outgoing people might prefer to be friends with outgoing persons like them. They probably don't understand how a person can be quiet and reserved, so they don't really mix up with introverts much. 
    • Thought process. According to my personal experience this is the most important factor that determines who I get along with better. You find a high level of connection with the people who have a similar thought process as you. You can take about anything and everything with such people and there's no scope of getting bored of them. It's a bonus for you if you find such a person as a significant other. 
    • Looks. Yes, looks matter too. Maybe not as much as other qualities but it still is there in the list. We all have different ideas of what is beautiful and we get attracted to people accordingly. 
  • Shanmugi B.P
    Shanmugi B.P   Aug 29, 2017 07:27 PM


       Hope you are doing well. I can clearly understand about your concern.  Yes, it depends upon the experience everyone comes under. Like, if I like green color and my friend likes red color. And my friend wore some dress in red color and look pretty, then I just feel “How about to try these?”. And next time when I go for shopping I will prefer only red color dress. It’s like the feelings and experience. Every one will come under these kind of changes in their life. Also, when it comes in a relationship or in friendship else in the people. Every one has different characters and preference. Some need some jovial and funny friend, while some need brilliant and smart friend.

    It depends upon their character, if they were jovial they only prefer the friend who has the same character and attitude like him/her. If a silent people gets a jovial friend, and a jovial people gets silent friend. Then the relationship will ever longs for many days.  And everyone loves the originality of the people’s character and behavior with every one and every thing.


    Hope it helps you!!!

    Take Care :)

  • Ayushi Jolly
    Ayushi Jolly   Aug 29, 2017 06:37 PM

    Hello there. I hope you are doing well.

    I totally agree with you on the fact that we are often attracted to things or people with different personalities.Never does it happen that we are interested in or attracted to one particular thing or type.When it comes to people we might develop interests for people like us and when it comes to thinking patterns or things,we might get extremely different.Often,it is not one single factor that develops our interest in a person it can be due to many reasons,some of which can be=

    1.When we want to spend time with someone we are inclined to choosing people who think like us.

    2.Often,we tend to build a comfort zone around us so the probability of befriending someone who lives around or closest increases.

    3.Often we find ourselves attracted to people who appear good,this usually occur in forming first impressions. Other times,we might just feel equally attrcated to another person probably because of similar thought patterns or behaviour.

    4.I have been befriending people who think similar to me because that makes it simpler for me to connect instead of when I have to communicate with someone who thinks differently from me.

  • Sanjna Verma
    Sanjna Verma   Aug 28, 2017 11:07 PM

    Hey there. I have reasons in both terms psychology and also experience. According to Psychology it can be due to:

    1 Proximity that is whoever lives nearby your house or hostel. You see them more often due to which you are more attracted towards them.

    2 Those who are similar to us in terms of our traits and dispositions. It also includes the fact that opposites attract. Like I am someone who does not talk much but I find myself liking the company of someone who has a lot to talk about.

    3 Physical attractiveness as well, when it comes to romantic relationships. I believe it's true as you fall in love generally with the looks of the person first, right? Not with their personality traits.

    My own experience says that, 

    I like someone who is at my level in terms of academics and someone whose social abilities are just like me. Or someone who helps towards enhancing my personality, you can say, an ideal person whom I want to become like.