Can't approach big issues

03 Sep
Minaish Dhabhar

Hi guys,

So a friend of mine recently went through something major and another friend of ours knew about it and the first friend got really offenfed that the second didn't approach her or ask her about it. She felt like the second one didn't care, when in truth, the second one says she cannot bring herself to ask people about their problems even if she wants to know. Perhaps it is because she won't know what advice to give or how to handle it. But I see how this is a flaw, so what can she do to work on it?

Responses 2

  • Name Confidential
    Anonymous   Sep 05, 2017 01:49 PM

    Hi there! 

    Sometimes we know certain things that might help the other person. Sometimes we know things that might destroy the other person. It's very tough to make a decision about when to reveal what we know and when to not. 

    It looks like this second friend of yours didn't want to invade into the other friend's space. She must have wanted to give her own space. Otherwise she would be called as prying or creepy. 

    However, it's her duty to honestly confront her friend if she knows something that might help. It's okay even if she is not able to give advice or suggest things. That small piece of information that she shared can also be meaningful and enough help. However when you hide truth, you take away someone's right to information. It's not fair. When the information isn't about you or it doesn't harm you to spread the word then why not? Besides it'll be helping your friend, it's important. 

    You people need to talk to her so she doesn't do this again. Let her feel comfortable and tell her it's okay even if she doesn't have any advices that might help. 

  • Ayushi Jolly
    Ayushi Jolly   Sep 03, 2017 02:02 PM

    Hey, I hope you are doing well.

    It is nice to see how you want to resolve the issues between two friends but please know that things can even worsen with a third person. The best you can do is to listen to each person's point of view and then generalize and then try to go to a conclusion. Here,the friend who was in grief is also right like the other friend. The grieved friend wanted support but the other one could not provide it out of her comfort zone because she was afraid that she is not good at it and fears that she might have,if not helped but worsened her mood. On the other hand,she want to speak her heart out on someone and maybe she could have settled herself. However,you can try the following measures to resolve the issue-

    1. Try talking to each one of them,individually to get a clearer picture.

    2.You can also try to console your friend first and then resolve this matter.

    3.Try telling her that things are not out of control and can be solved.

    4. After you hae understood the situation,clearly well, meet up with both of them and ask them to resolve the matter face to face.